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  • I love it.

    Many of you know that my biggest pet peeve at work is parents who will not take responsibility for their children's misbehavior. It's always OUR fault. Well, this call made my night.

    Me: Thank you for calling Bugaboo cell, this is TPG, my rep ID is 12345, can I have the cell number you're calling about?
    Customer: Well, I'm not sure. I got these charges on my debit card, I don't know what they are.
    Me: Ok, if you'll give me the debit card number, I can look up the charges and we can go over them. *I look up the charges, explain what they are, and give her the last 4 numbers of the cell they were charged to*
    Customer: Can you hold on a moment?
    Me: Of course.
    Customer: (sound of lady walking though her house) Felicia, what's your cell number? *a young girl in the background rattles off the phone number I have in front of me*
    Customer: (raising her voice) You been using my debit card on your phone?!!!
    Girl in Background: Uh-uh, Momma! Uh-uh, no I didnt! No I didn't, Momma!
    Customer: WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT STEALING MONEY?!!!!!
    Girl in background: I didn't do nuthin', momma! I didn't, I swear!
    Customer: YOU'RE IN DEEP SHIT, GIRL! YOUR DADDY'S GONNA BEAT YOU INTO NEXT WEEK WHEN HE FINDS OUT!!!
    Girl in Background: But Momma!!!
    Customer: *hurriedly* Thank you, ma'am, you have been very helpful. *click*

    Because as we all know, on the Internet all men are men, all women are men and all children are FBI agents.

  • #2
    *would fall on the floor laughing but would squish claire and not go far* omg that was awesome.

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    • #3
      *meep*

      Of course, the cynical part of me says this isn't the first time this song-and-dance has happened and it won't be the last.
      "Maybe the problem just went away...maybe it was the magical sniper fairy that comes and gives silenced hollow point rounds to people who don't eat their vegetables."

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      • #4
        That's what you get for stealing money.

        At least I hope that the mother wasn't serious about beating his daughter. My mom always said I'd get a "beating" when I did something I wasn't supposed to do, but rarely did it ever involve physical stuff.
        "Oh, you hate your job? There's a club for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet down at the bar." ~Drew Carey

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        • #5
          Quoth Lyger View Post
          At least I hope that the mother wasn't serious about beating his daughter. My mom always said I'd get a "beating" when I did something I wasn't supposed to do, but rarely did it ever involve physical stuff.
          Same here. When I was young, "beatings" usually meant a quick swat on the backside. When I got older, it was banishment to my room or yardwork.

          This thread reminded me of one call I took in my few months in a call center. It was a Saturday morning, and, of course, there were dozens of ads for kids' music collections and various toys running on TV around the country. I never actually had a kid try to use the parents' credit cards, but I had several call in and try to order. I found this call so amusing I put it in my journal at the time...

          Me: (Standard greeting).
          Little Kid: ... Hi.
          Me: Hello. Can I help you?
          Little Kid: I want the drawing thing on TV.
          Me: So do I, but you need to have your mom or dad call in to order that.
          Little Kid: I saw the drawing thing on TV and...
          Adult Voice: (in background, coming closer) Aw, dammit, Little Kid! How many phones do they have in this place? Give me that. (on the line) Hello?
          Me: Good morning.
          Adult Voice: Let me guess. You sell the drawing thing.
          Me: To adults, yes.
          Adult Voice: *sigh* This is the sixth time Little Kid has done this today. I disconnect the phone and hide it, but she keeps finding another one somewhere in the house. I'm sorry. I'll try to make sure she doesn't call you again.
          Me: Don't worry about it. Good luck.
          Adult Voice: Yeah, thanks. I'm not getting paid enough for this. (trailing off) Little Kid, what did I tell you ab- *click*
          I suspect that... inside every adult (sometimes not very far inside) is a bratty kid who wants everything his own way.
          - Bill Watterson

          My co-workers: They're there when they need me.
          - IPF

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          • #6
            That's awesome that the parent didn't put the blame on you!
            My mom would also say my dad would give me a beating, but it was always the verbal kind. Trust me, I'd rather have had 3 or 4 swats to the bottom than an hour long lecture!!!
            The report button - not just for decoration

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            • #7
              Quoth HawaiianShirts View Post
              I'm not getting paid enough for this.
              Too true.
              Unseen but seeing
              oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
              There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
              3rd shift needs love, too
              RIP, mo bhrionglóid

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              • #8
                Caller: Why is my cable bill so high?
                Me: Um, it seems there were quite a few pay per views ordered.
                Caller: I never ordered any pay per views.
                Me (sigh... this again?): Pay per view doesn''t order itself.
                Caller: Oh, I know who ordered it. And when he comes home, he's going to wish he hadn't. Thank you and have a good night.
                Me: I'm guessing I'm going to have a much better night than he will.
                Caller: You can be sure of that.
                I was neat, clean, shaved and sober, and I didn't care who knew it. -- Raymond Chandler

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                • #9
                  Quoth TNT View Post
                  Caller: Why is my cable bill so high?
                  Me: Um, it seems there were quite a few pay per views ordered.
                  Caller: I never ordered any pay per views.
                  Me (sigh... this again?): Pay per view doesn''t order itself.
                  Caller: Oh, I know who ordered it. And when he comes home, he's going to wish he hadn't. Thank you and have a good night.
                  Me: I'm guessing I'm going to have a much better night than he will.
                  Caller: You can be sure of that.
                  I get that call every so often. I joked with a supervisor once how odd it is that with all the PPV and on demand programming we offer, only the adult selections magically appear on people's bills. It's as if no one ever orders porn, it just randomly appears on people's TVs thanks to the Magic Porn Fairy.

                  Also, we have a frequent caller wherein a young (probably 12-15 max) boy calls in with the most obvious trying-to-sound-like-a-grownup voice attempting to order adult PPV. He calls every couple of weeks, and calls 10-15 times a day with the hope of landing someone who will place the order without asking for verification. Never happens, but you gotta almost be impressed with the kid continuing his quixotic quest for the latest Jerry Springer PPV.
                  "You know, there are times when it's a source of personal pride not to be human." - Hobbes

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                  • #10
                    Quoth CancelMyService View Post
                    It's as if no one ever orders porn, it just randomly appears on people's TVs thanks to the Magic Porn Fairy.
                    I want a Magic Porn Fairy! (For writing purposes only, mind you - I write fanfic slash and the inspiration would be helpful. )
                    ~~ Every politician that opens their mouth on birth control only proves that we need more of it. ~~

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                    • #11
                      Wow, I think it's pretty cool she didn't blame you. I can stand the customers who call in and understand that PPV's that were ordered by their kid/ someone in their home are their responsibility. They are the levelheaded customers, who actually make me think my job is worth it.

                      I can't stand the ones who don't think they should pay for it, because they didn't authorize it. Especially if it's happened before.
                      "I just figured you would be terrified, and I would be sarcastic about it."

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                      • #12
                        The Magic Porn Fairy is my obscene muse.

                        Kudos to Cancel My Service for finding a sentence in which to use the word quixotic.
                        You're not doing me a favor by eating here. I'm doing you a favor by feeding you.

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                        • #13
                          Jerry Pay Per View?! Dogs and cats living together!!!1!

                          Quoth CancelMyService View Post
                          He calls every couple of weeks, and calls 10-15 times a day with the hope of landing someone who will place the order without asking for verification. Never happens, but you gotta almost be impressed with the kid continuing his quixotic quest for the latest Jerry Springer PPV.
                          Jerry Springer Pay-Per-View? OMG! WTF! BBQ!!!!1!!(hey, that rhymes!)

                          I can't actually talk about Jerry Springer, his show, or the kind of people who participate in it, make money off of it, or watch it, in polite company. Hell, I can't actually talk about it here. Suffice to say, if I were to start talking about Jerry Springer, I'd sound like a mentally ill megaphone-wielding street preacher who's just smashed his fingers in a car door. Drunken German soccer hooligans would sound monastic compared to me. I'd probably offend the entire membership of Customers Suck, and their families, going back six or seven generations. I'd probably blow out the headsets and melt the servers of the wiretapping people.

                          So I'm just gonna say I don't like Jerry Springer, can't fathom spending money to see whatever could possibly be out of bounds for such a program, and oh yeah, I think I'm gonna go shoot my TV now, just to be safe.

                          /I think I was born in the wrong century
                          //to the wrong species
                          ///Shoulda been a 17th century barn owl
                          ////not fark, but still with the slashy goodness
                          "Love keeps her in the air when she ought fall down, let's you know she's hurting 'fore she keens...makes her a home."

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                          • #14
                            The funny thing is that if you're going to spend some money on adult entertainment, the Jerry Springer shows are about the lamest thing you could buy. I think the kid just tries to order them because they don't sound too obvious as porn titles.
                            "You know, there are times when it's a source of personal pride not to be human." - Hobbes

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                            • #15
                              Quoth CancelMyService View Post
                              The funny thing is that if you're going to spend some money on adult entertainment, the Jerry Springer shows are about the lamest thing you could buy. I think the kid just tries to order them because they don't sound too obvious as porn titles.
                              Wait till they see the 80 years old nudist.
                              Now would be a good time to visit So Very Unofficial!

                              "I've had so many nasty customers this week, my bottomless pit is now ankle-deep."-Me.

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