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In case you hadn't noticed happy Christmas and here's a treat 
Hope your Santa is better behaved than this one. Copyright Me. Mitts off or else.....
Dear Santa,We have a problem which cannot be ignored
Your behaviour on Christmas Eve was frankly overboard
Your sleigh was going much too fast and we still have the proof
The lead reindeer is embedded head first into the roof
The children have been traumatized whilst lying in their beds
Down crashed two pairs of antlers on two disembodied heads
The correct mode of entry is down the chimney as you know
So please explain to me why you were digging up the patio
The mince pies that we left you were intended as a treat
And not missiles to be hurtled halfway down the street
And the catapult you used to fire them at the car
Was not in fact a slingshot,but my youngest daughter's bra
I take it that your antics with the pudding were a game
For why else would you be juggling a Christmas dessert set aflame?
You should have hung the stockings all well filled on the hearth
Not pranced naked round the lounge with it hanging from your parts
You trampled on the snowman which the family had built
And left the carrot for his nose protruding from his kilt
And the port that we had left you had been drunk,it is true
But the contents of the drinks bar were not really meant for you
When heading to the bathroom,I did not expect to see
A nude fat man with a squeaker,stuck perched upon the tree
Now I'm all for Christmas cheer and sharing festive kisses
But where you hung the mistletoe has terrified the missus,
Your conduct was atrocious,neither cheerful nor jolly
And I still have the injuries from where you assaulted me with the holly
If next year you are returning,climbing down the chimney pot
I'll make sure the fire is burning and I'll make it roaring hot
I want my compensation,no excuses,don't pass the buck
Back next year?Well all I'll say is.Dear Santa,I'll be waiting,try your luck
Hope your Santa is better behaved than this one. Copyright Me. Mitts off or else.....Dear Santa,We have a problem which cannot be ignored
Your behaviour on Christmas Eve was frankly overboard
Your sleigh was going much too fast and we still have the proof
The lead reindeer is embedded head first into the roof
The children have been traumatized whilst lying in their beds
Down crashed two pairs of antlers on two disembodied heads
The correct mode of entry is down the chimney as you know
So please explain to me why you were digging up the patio
The mince pies that we left you were intended as a treat
And not missiles to be hurtled halfway down the street
And the catapult you used to fire them at the car
Was not in fact a slingshot,but my youngest daughter's bra
I take it that your antics with the pudding were a game
For why else would you be juggling a Christmas dessert set aflame?
You should have hung the stockings all well filled on the hearth
Not pranced naked round the lounge with it hanging from your parts
You trampled on the snowman which the family had built
And left the carrot for his nose protruding from his kilt
And the port that we had left you had been drunk,it is true
But the contents of the drinks bar were not really meant for you
When heading to the bathroom,I did not expect to see
A nude fat man with a squeaker,stuck perched upon the tree
Now I'm all for Christmas cheer and sharing festive kisses
But where you hung the mistletoe has terrified the missus,
Your conduct was atrocious,neither cheerful nor jolly
And I still have the injuries from where you assaulted me with the holly
If next year you are returning,climbing down the chimney pot
I'll make sure the fire is burning and I'll make it roaring hot
I want my compensation,no excuses,don't pass the buck
Back next year?Well all I'll say is.Dear Santa,I'll be waiting,try your luck
He is my Black Dragon (and yes, a good one) strong, protective, the guardian. I am his Silver Dragon, always by his side, shining for him, cherishing him.
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