I don't like the assumption I don't do enough

[Food Lady]

So in our household I am the one who takes care of inside cleaning because I'm not really capable of a lot of the outside stuff (though I help with yard work when I can). Plus, that stuff generally gets done while I'm working. Our garage door is electric and wouldn't work the other day. My brother had left for the airport a few days ago and left it halfway up and texted Mom about it. I didn't know anything about it until a couple of days later when Mom asked to borrow my car since she parks in the garage and didn't know how to open it manually (easy but I was working and it was just easer for her to take my car to the store). When I got done working I looked up an article from the local garage door people and tried what they said to re-set it. It didn't work. Asked if Mom was going to utilize our home repair insurance and call someone in and she said no, she would wait until Bro got home. OK, fine. He does a lot of the repair stuff around here and in turn gets fed and doesn't have to do housework.

Fast forward to today. I asked if he knew why it wasn't working and he was surprised I asked. I guess she didn't specifically say "Can you look at it?" He was perturbed I asked, saying "Didn't she just get it to work?" (she left and was able to take her car). I went to test it and no dice so I guess she did it manually, leaving the door up. Well he fiddled with it and figured out the sensor was blocked.

So it's fine, but I didn't like being asked "Did anyone even try to fix it?" Um, yeah...I'm not the one dumping this on him and I was the one who went to the 'net for DIY suggestions first. She wouldn't have. I wasn't even thinking of asking him; she was. And I do try to fix things when I find them. It's just not always me that knows about them first. I mean, I don't even use the garage for anything and that grill that was blocking it isn't mine, wasn't my idea, is not anything I'll ever use. Why am I getting thinly veiled attitude? He was already mad about it days ago; he told me he was angry to find the door halfway up the morning he left so I guess it broke long before I knew and she just left it all night*. Well, I guess he's really mad at her but I have to catch it. I keep telling myself not to ever talk to him about anything house-related. What are we going to do when she passes and we have to deal with this house together?

*thousands of dollars worth of hobbies and musical instruments, not to mention her expensive serger and sewing machine in the basement which is accessible by the garage, so yeah... I keep all my valuables in the house because that basement door is not locked. I know he can't keep that stuff up here so I get why he's frustrated. And yet, the riding mower is in a shed with no door at all....My family don't make sense to me. If I buy him out of his half of this house, things will be run differently, starting with getting rid of all the excess possessions. He can take the TV, BBQ, and all the furniture he bought. I don't want to deal with it. I'm somewhat a minimalist; it reduces stress to not have to worry about expensive stuff.

[Kristev]

If you can buy him out, I'd advise doing it. Both of them together sound too much for you, as where you'd probably do better with just your mother.

[Food Lady]

I can't until I inherit it, and that's when my mom dies.

[depechemodefan]

So in our household I am the one who takes care of inside cleaning because I'm not really capable of a lot of the outside stuff (though I help with yard work when I can). Plus, that stuff generally gets done while I'm working.

Sounds like my problem at home. I moved in with bf, we got married after maybe a year and a half. Before he would take the paper plates after we eat and put them in the garbage. Now he hands them to me and leaves out all the stuff he used and I have to put them up. A lot of times I'll find the salsa/butter/leftovers/ etc on the counter right in front of the fridge.

His mom was a cleaning machine, she left the house spotless. She used to live with him so he wouldn't be alone but once I started to hang around a lot (but not move in) she moved out, then had to be put in a nursing home because she had alzheimers. So a lot of time I hear from him, "My mom kept the place clean". As in, I was doing a shitty job.

So it's fine, but I didn't like being asked "Did anyone even try to fix it?" Um, yeah...I'm not the one dumping this on him and I was the one who went to the 'net for DIY suggestions first. She wouldn't have.

Oh goodness. I've been around too many people who don't appreciate people who do housework. They, of course, never do housework.

I can't until I inherit it, and that's when my mom dies.

Does that mean she left it in the will for you? Then you don't need to buy it out. If you mean, there is no will, because both of you will inherit, or you both inherit the house, going by her will, I'm afraid. I don't know your brother but he might be a douche about the house. He might feel entitled to the house for whatever reason. My mom and her sister had a shit time with grandma's house. Grandma left a will but my aunts ignored it, just took over the house, rented it out, said the house was not paid off so the rent went to paying off the house, sold it for $20,000 (a price of a new Volvo at the time) and split the money with the other siblings. I would be afraid that you mom dies, your brother because a douche, and one day when you go to work or somewhere where you will be gone most of the day, your brother will have locked you out and lawyers would be too expensive for you to get him out of the house. Sorry, I've seen some sad sibling drama in my time.

I can also imagine he feels owed and will try to get you to pay him a ton and you do pay the exorbitant price just to get him out and not deal with him.

My husband's mom lived 3 hours away from us. They told a brother they will let him keep the mom's house if he would take care of her. He is a druggy. My husband was the only one to use her bank account to pay her bills, but the brother convinced the mom that my husband was taking her money so she signed the brother as the executor. Of course, he wasn't paying the water bill or other bills so my husband had to pay them, and every week he had to buy groceries online to feed them and of course the brother dictated what food they were suppose to get. And the fridge broke. And the brother wasn't taking care of the mom, and since she had alzheimers she would get up at 4am to water the lawn and wander the streets. There was a druggy cousin living with them and she was actually the one to get the mom clean, feed, and was trying to take care of her.

No doubt this escalated, first things wernt' so bad, no one thought the druggy brother would fail at taking care of his mom (he usually accompany her when she was well, so it was hard to believe he would do a bad job when she got sick, but obviously it was not impossible)

I'm probably talking out of my butt and your brother won't screw you over when your mom dies. He does not seem to appreciate you though, so be hypervigilant.

[Food Lady]

I don't think he would do that. I do think he will get frustrated about all the work that has to be done when he doesn't have Mom to help him. I can, if it's done on a weekend or after work. (I'm talking about yard work and snow removal, mainly.) However, all of us have messed up spines with him being the better of the three of us. He's more capable.

[Nunavut Pants]

Don't underestimate the way that money affects peoples' behavior. I'm in the middle of a multi-year fight with my uncle over my grandmother's estate. Let's just say that he should have hired a better estate attorney and then actually listened to that attorney, rather than half-assing everything.