The F word and a 3 Musketeers Bar [Long]

[FenigDurak]

I very rarely lose my temper and sink a level or two when dealing with angry customers. This one just...it got me.

A woman in a wheel chair and her husband (who is on oxygen) come into the store. I recognize them from a previous visit, so I say hello and let them go about their business.

They go over to a purse she had been looking at before and proceed to have a quiet little spat. No one else is in the store, so I go about repricing and try not to listen.

She wheels over with the purse on her lap and asks me what I think of it. I tell her that it's a little big (huge honkin purse) but that if she carries a lot of things with her, it's a better bag for that. She asks for a mirror, so I direct her to the mirror on the door. (Bear in mind that the entire length of my store is about 50 feet, so the mirror isn't far).

While she's debating the purse with her husband, she asks me for Father's Day cards. First, I moved a few things around to make it easier for her to wheel to them. It dawns on me that the card display of Father's Day cards is rather high, so I take it off the wall and place it on the counter near my computer. While I'm doing this, she grabs a 3 Musketeers bar and tears into it.

I can't remember the word for word, so y'all get generalities.

Her: This tastes funny.
Me: I'm sorry
Her: I want my money back.
Me: I'm sorry, but I don't remember ringing that up for you. I don't think I can give you money back.
Her: This is ridiculous. This doesn't taste right. I don't like it. What are you going to do for me?
Me: I'm not sure what you want me to do for you. You haven't paid for that. I'm not going to refund it.
Her: I would never treat one of my customers this way. You need to do something for me.
Me: <grabbing the trash can> I can let you throw it away and not charge you for it, but you should know that I'm not going to give you money for something you haven't paid for, and I don't allow open food in this store.
Her: <tosses the candy> Fine. I want your name and your boss' name. I've been in customer service for 22 years and I never would have treated one of my customers like this. I'm going to write your boss a letter and request that you're fired.
Me: <I admit that here I'm starting to feel like I'm being filmed or something, so I grab the phone and hit the panic button> I'll call her right now. My name is <Fenig> spelled F.E.N.I.G.

I dial, and it rings and rings and rings and no one answers. Damnit. I have to deal with her. While I'm on the phone, she calls me a bitch.

Me: Please don't swear at me. I haven't done anything to deserve that.
Her: You've treated me horribly! I've never been treated like this before!
Me: What? You asked my opinion on a purse, I gave it to you. You asked for cards, I went and got them down for you. You then stole from me and demanded that I give you money for your theft. There isn't anything else I can do for you.
Her: <giving me the finger> F* You! F* Off! I'm not buying anything here!
Me: That's fine. You're not welcome here.
Her: <dropping F-bombs like they're going out of style.>
Me: <Angry now> Get the f* out of the store. You're not welcome here. You've been rude and abrasive and you're just not welcome here anymore.

She and her husband leave. Once they're out of sight, Security shows up.

I have my boss' husband on the phone at that point, I was crying, I was shaking, I was apologizing for losing my temper. Once I'm done with him, I tell security the whole ordeal. Right as I'm getting to the flipping me off and swearing like a drunken sailor, she comes back. Alone this time.

She apologized. She told me that she's in constant extreme pain, that her shoulders have no cartiledge left, she's been paralyzed since she was in her late 20s, she's 51 now, and a Christian.

I accepted her apology, didn't demand she pay for the candy, but requested a Security guard be with her if she expected to come back into the store.

Looking at it now, it still feels incredibly surreal. Like it didn't really happen. I feel like an ass for losing my temper with her, but at the same time I just don't know where all of that came from.

[BookstoreEscapee]

I don't blame you for losing your temper...and it was nice of her to come back and apologize...At the risk of sounding like a 6 year old, She started it! Obviously she was having a bad day with her condition, and being in extreme pain can make you a different person sometimes...I do find it funny that she expected a refund for something she didn't even pay for! Maybe she had a, maybe not "excuse" but let's say, mitigating factor to explain her suckiness, but your reaction was entirely understandable, if you ask me.

[myswtghst]

This just bugs me, because I can understand how being in severe pain (been there, done that) can make you irritable and more prone to swearing, but where in your brain, even when you're a little whacked out or more sensitive, does it make sense to demand a refund for something you, in essence, stole?

And I don't blame you for losing your temper. As humans, we all have a certain line or level that, once crossed, we kind of lose control. As CSR's, that level is way higher than it should be, but it still doesn't mean that we shouldn't expect people to at least behave like they weren't raised by wolves.

[Becks]

Extreme and constant pain does NOT excuse the fact that she stole and wanted a refund for the stolen merchandise.

I'm glad to know that she came back and apologized.

I don't blame you for what you said. I don't even blame the f-bomb, because it was said in the heat of the moment. When I lose my temper, I say it, too. Sure, it's not professional, and I don't advocate saying it while at work, but it happens.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

As unpleasant as that must've been, it took some real guts on her part to come back and apologize. That had to have been hard.

[friendofjimmyk]

WHOA! Just.....whoa!

What in God's name does being a Christian have to do with anything. I will stop there to avoid any religious debate. No wait, just one thing, did she say that to excuse her behavior or try to make up for it?

Maybe, just maybe, she was hoping that you'd give her the purse for free?!?!?!????

[Sliceanddice]

ok im in pain most days, sometime so bad im about ready to curl up on the floor and cry. I WOULD NEVER CURSE AT AN EMPLOYEE IN A STORE, I WOULD NEVER BE SO RUDE, AND I WOULD NEVER BLAME ANY BAD BEHAVIOR I DID ON IT.
It doesn't matter if she is "christian" or if she has been paralized since she was 20, SHE HAD NO EXCUSS. I would insist on security every time she came in to the store.

evil, vial devil woman...

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Well, I think she knew she had no excuse. I kind of took it as her saying that was in pain a lot and it made her cranky and prone to say thngs she didn't mean and that she was sorry. Not that she was using it as an excuse. If she were using it as an excuse, she wouldn't have apologized.

I think she brought up her religion as a way to say that she knew better and was ashamed of her behavior. Which clearly she was. After she cooled off, she probably was mortified, and as a Christian, she realized she owed the OP an apology.

She made a massive screw up, was ashamed, and did the only thing she could do...she came back, humbled herself before the person she'd wronged, and apologized. It took self-awareness and guts.

I hardly think security need be called to deal with a frail, incapacitated, wheelchair bound woman and an old man with an oxygen tank. She's been humbled, and she is ashamed. She got a chewing out...she did it to herself, and I guarantee she was a lot harsher with herself than anyone else would have been.

While reading your story, it occured to me she may well be in an early stage of Alzheimers, too. Or maybe her rational thinking was effected by meds, diabeties, or hypoglycemia. People usually do not act like this for no good reason. Sure, there are massive assholes out there, but I don't think that is what was happening here. This lady was positively demented, paranoid, and just plain over the top. Something else was going on. Don't take it personally.

[Pagan]

As CSR's, that level is way higher than it should be, but it still doesn't mean that we shouldn't expect people to at least behave like they weren't raised by wolves.

Except that wolves behave better than most people.

[Sliceanddice]

You see a frail woman, i see a woman who thinks because she protrays that image she can get away with shit. Im sorry but people in wheelchairs can be just as abusive as people who aren't... Im sorry but i can feel no sympathy for the woman at all.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

One of the biggest assholes to come into Kinko's was a guy in a motorized wheelchair. He was, in short, an absolute pig, a thief, a pervert, a liar... let's see what I left out...what do you call someone who milks their disability to get away with awful behavior? I dunno. But you get the idea. I wanted to push this guy into traffic.

I'm pretty sure the woman wasn't trying to get away with anything. She came back in and apologized. That's really all she had to offer as compensation.

We all screw up. We all have moments we aren't proud of. We can only hope than when we do, we are allowed to at least try to make it right and that we will be met with a little grace by the person we wronged.

A person who never apologizes can't reasonably expect to be forgiven. Neither can someone who never forgives.

[Special Patrol Group]

I hardly think security need be called to deal with a frail, incapacitated, wheelchair bound woman and an old man with an oxygen tank. She's been humbled, and she is ashamed. She got a chewing out...she did it to herself, and I guarantee she was a lot harsher with herself than anyone else would have been.

I strongly believe it's a good idea to call security for someone like that. You never know what she might do in the future if she doesn't have a lot of self control. I mean it's not like the pain is likely to go away and her life improve, making her a happier person.

Always call for back up people, it could save your job.

[JustADude]

Personally, I consider "Get The F*ck Out!" to be a completely different thing than swearing or using the F-Bomb in any other context. I don't know why, but that one phrase is so iron-clad welded together to me that the profanity ceases to exist and becomes a part of the imperative. That being said, it should only be used in extreme of circumstances, and being yelled at and cursed at first (multiple times) is on my copy of the list.

On the topic of pain... I know a man in his late 40s who looks me in the eye (I'm 6'5") when he first wakes up in the morning, but shrinks down to where I'm nearly a head taller than he is after he's been upright for less than an hour because of damage to his back (Blew the front tire of his Chopper on the freeway when he was, in his own words, young and stupid). He's got morphine, 100mg tabs and 250mg tabs, that he's supposed to take, one on a schedule and the other for flare-ups, but doesn't take either unless forced to because he doesn't like the way they affect his mind, and Doctors have said that there's no way he should be able to stand, let alone walk around acting a normal guy even with the meds. He's also one of the kindest, most even-tempered men I'll ever have the pleasure of meeting, and a practicing Witch.

According to him if you live with pain, you need to learn to deal with pain. If you rely on your medication to do the work for you, you become a hollow, bitter shell of a human being.

[Banrion]

One of the biggest assholes to come into Kinko's was a guy in a motorized wheelchair. He was, in short, an absolute pig, a thief, a pervert, a liar... let's see what I left out...what do you call someone who milks their disability to get away with awful behavior?

Entitlement Whore

According to him if you live with pain, you need to learn to deal with pain. If you rely on your medication to do the work for you, you become a hollow, bitter shell of a human being.

Yeah, opiate addiction can do that to you. My mom had some pretty severe neck damage, her C3 and C5 had crushed her C4 to the point where her arms were going numb and she had no strength. She had to go through 12 doctors, before she could find one who would refer her to a neurologist instead of a pain management specialist. For months she was looped out on pain meds, just trying to make it through the day. Finally, she got into a neurologist, and had the shards of what was remaining of her C4 removed. Now she is back to normal, with meds on hand for the REALLY bad days.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I strongly believe it's a good idea to call security for someone like that. You never know what she might do in the future if she doesn't have a lot of self control. I mean it's not like the pain is likely to go away and her life improve, making her a happier person.

Always call for back up people, it could save your job.

I see your point. And you're right, while she may have learned a lesson, if she's out of control with pain and/or meds, she's unpredictable.