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Well, hear my tale and you shall see, what a Nightmare retail can be...
Jack's Lament
A guy comes into my line and promptly introduces himself as Jack. Then he starts telling me of his problems at home with his wife, kids, job, you name it, he moaned about it. What he does he think I am, his therapist? I tried to get him to move along after he paid, but he stayed their and continued bitching until the customers behind him told him in no uncertain terms, they would like to pay. Finally he left.
What's This?
A lady comes up to me and holds up a jar of bell peppers stuffed with cheese and ham. She asks me what it is. I told her. She does the same thing with a container of potato salad. This goes on with every item in her cart. Finally she was satisfied and left. If you want to know what something is, couldn't you just read the label?! Oh wait, that's common sense.
Kidnap the Sandy Claws
During Christmas time, we had a cardboard cut-out of Santa Clause that we used to promote some brand of Christmas cookies. Every single damn day the Santa Clause would turn up missing. It's a giant Santa, too, so I have no idea how someone manages to sneak it out without someone seeing. Finally, the company got tired of paying for a new Santa, so they stopped buying a new one and displaying him.
Making Christmas
Lady comes up to me and asks if we had any Christmas decorations. We just started July. We don't have Christmas decorations. She said she was having a Fourth of July barb-b-que and she wanted Christmas decorations because her relatives weren't there for her Christmas party. She got upset when I told her that we only carry Christmas items during November and December. She told me that was poor business practice and left in a big huffy.
The Oogie Boogie Man
A big guy in green (I'm not kidding) comes in my line and asks if we carry any crickets or worms. Not in this grocery store, we don't. He shrugs and goes to pay for his items. Out of curiosity, I ask if the bugs were for his pet frog, or for fishing. He says no. He likes to eat them because of all the protein they have. (If there are people out there that really do eat bugs, I don't mean to offend you. I just found this weird.) He sees my dice-shaped earrings and asks if I gamble. I tell him I play poker sometimes. He tells me he loves poker as well as gambling all together. He then tells me every game he's ever played and how he sometimes cheats by using mirrors in his house, or at times, adding extra cards or switching them when no one's looking. He finally left. When he did, I rang up the next customer, who overheard this by the way, and we both burst out laughing.
I Sense There's Something in the Wind
That feels like idioticness at hand. An old lady comes up and tells me that the wind outside was making it hard for her to walk and breathe, and it smells like a dirty shoe. She then asks what we were going to do about it. We can't control the wind. When I pointed that out, she said, "Hmmph! Well then, I'm going to take my business somewhere that knows how to treat their customers!" Then she left.
Sometimes I wonder if Dr. Finklestein forgot to give his creations brains and they somehow got loose from his lab.
Jack's Lament
A guy comes into my line and promptly introduces himself as Jack. Then he starts telling me of his problems at home with his wife, kids, job, you name it, he moaned about it. What he does he think I am, his therapist? I tried to get him to move along after he paid, but he stayed their and continued bitching until the customers behind him told him in no uncertain terms, they would like to pay. Finally he left.
What's This?
A lady comes up to me and holds up a jar of bell peppers stuffed with cheese and ham. She asks me what it is. I told her. She does the same thing with a container of potato salad. This goes on with every item in her cart. Finally she was satisfied and left. If you want to know what something is, couldn't you just read the label?! Oh wait, that's common sense.
Kidnap the Sandy Claws
During Christmas time, we had a cardboard cut-out of Santa Clause that we used to promote some brand of Christmas cookies. Every single damn day the Santa Clause would turn up missing. It's a giant Santa, too, so I have no idea how someone manages to sneak it out without someone seeing. Finally, the company got tired of paying for a new Santa, so they stopped buying a new one and displaying him.
Making Christmas
Lady comes up to me and asks if we had any Christmas decorations. We just started July. We don't have Christmas decorations. She said she was having a Fourth of July barb-b-que and she wanted Christmas decorations because her relatives weren't there for her Christmas party. She got upset when I told her that we only carry Christmas items during November and December. She told me that was poor business practice and left in a big huffy.
The Oogie Boogie Man
A big guy in green (I'm not kidding) comes in my line and asks if we carry any crickets or worms. Not in this grocery store, we don't. He shrugs and goes to pay for his items. Out of curiosity, I ask if the bugs were for his pet frog, or for fishing. He says no. He likes to eat them because of all the protein they have. (If there are people out there that really do eat bugs, I don't mean to offend you. I just found this weird.) He sees my dice-shaped earrings and asks if I gamble. I tell him I play poker sometimes. He tells me he loves poker as well as gambling all together. He then tells me every game he's ever played and how he sometimes cheats by using mirrors in his house, or at times, adding extra cards or switching them when no one's looking. He finally left. When he did, I rang up the next customer, who overheard this by the way, and we both burst out laughing.
I Sense There's Something in the Wind
That feels like idioticness at hand. An old lady comes up and tells me that the wind outside was making it hard for her to walk and breathe, and it smells like a dirty shoe. She then asks what we were going to do about it. We can't control the wind. When I pointed that out, she said, "Hmmph! Well then, I'm going to take my business somewhere that knows how to treat their customers!" Then she left.
Sometimes I wonder if Dr. Finklestein forgot to give his creations brains and they somehow got loose from his lab.
! We haven't even started Back to School yet!
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