Third Shift Stories...

[MSFHWraith]

I'm kinda new to this site, so let me test my storytelling acumen with one of my favorite lousy customer stories. I'll try and tone down my language so that all may enjoy the scariest customers ever.

In the gas station, we had a customer who was known as, well..a woman of ill repute. She didn't perform sex acts for pay, mind you, but she did get a number of men to do things for her by performing sex acts with them. Her poor husband was a nice guy, and oblivious to the fact that every week his wife would come in with a different man and buy a pack of condoms. She's tried a few times to get away with the old "I bought these cigarettes here and they're the wrong kind, I want a refund with no receipt" story, and threw a fit when I pointed at the "no refunds, period" sign we have hanging from the register. Also of note in the story is the fact that, although male, I take pride in my long hair (goes down far past my shoulders), usually letting it down rather than keeping it in a ponytail. Anyways, the Sucky Customer in question comes in alone one night, and here's how the conversation goes:

SC=Sucky Customer
W=Wraith(Me!)

SC: Hey, ah, gimmie a pack'a Marburra Ultra Lats!
W:Um..Okay, Marlboro Ultra Lights..*I pull a pack and scan it, but I already know the price so I recite it as it scans* That'll be $3.76.
SC: Here. *She tosses two rumpled dollar bills and a quarter onto my counter and makes a grab for the cigarette pack, which I make sure to keep in my hand until the money's all there*
W: That's only Two Twenty-Five. The pack costs about a buck fifty more. (I'll let a penny slide in the name of simplicity)
SC: Nuh-uh! I come here every week and they cost like Two Bucks!
W: The price hasn't changed in over two years. I knew the price before I even scanned it. And you paid $3.76 the last half-dozen times you've been in here. If 2.25 is all you can afford, I've got some cheaper ultra-lights.
SC: Well, you should just pay for the rest of the pack then!
W: ...um..why would I want to do that?
SC: Because I'm pregnant, and if you don't, I'll tell your manager that you were smoking pot!(Ironically, I'm the only one working at the store that didn't smoke pot, the store had just lost its assistant manager for flubbing a drug test, which are administered every time the store has more than 5 bucks in shrink)
W: There's a camera pointed right at me the whole time I'm here. Are you simply assuming that I'm a pothead because I keep my hair long?
SC: My dealer friend says that he sells pot to you all the time!
W: I'm afraid you've got the wrong guy, ma'am. I'm clean as a whistle. I don't even take aspirin when I get a headache.
SC: Well, I'm not leaving until you give me my cigarettes! *She stands in front of the door* And no one's getting in, either!
W: Please, leave the store before I call the police.
SC: You can't do that! I'm pregnant! *At this point, she takes a swing at me, which misses entirely. I grab the fist and open the door, gently pushing her out*
SC: Hey, this is assault! I'm going to sue you, and have my boyfriend come in and kill you!
W: Bye now!

I run back in and lock the door. She beats on it a few times and eventually leaves. The scary part comes a few hours later, when I see her truck pull up again, and her boyfriend is coming out of the truck. I lock the door and call the police on him, and he runs away. He actually came back to the store the next day to ask the manager when I'd be in next, actually telling the manager that he wanted to bring his gun and shoot me when I was in next, and he eventually had a restraining order put on him. I'm so glad I was fired from that place, he was one of at least five customers that wanted to kill me.

[Rapscallion]

Blink.

Blinketty blink...

Rapscallion

[Polenicus]

I run back in and lock the door. She beats on it a few times and eventually leaves. The scary part comes a few hours later, when I see her truck pull up again, and her boyfriend is coming out of the truck. I lock the door and call the police on him, and he runs away. He actually came back to the store the next day to ask the manager when I'd be in next, actually telling the manager that he wanted to bring his gun and shoot me when I was in next, and he eventually had a restraining order put on him. I'm so glad I was fired from that place, he was one of at least five customers that wanted to kill me.

No, you see that's just ridiculous. Threatening to commit murder for a lousy $1.50.

I'll have you know I won't commit murder for anything less than $1.75!!

Can't keep undercutting the market people!

[Soulstealer]

II'm so glad I was fired from that place, he was one of at least five customers that wanted to kill me.

One of five?

Great parenting there lady, smoking while pregnant and you probably don't know who the sperm donor is.

[greensinestro]

Great parenting there lady, smoking while pregnant and you probably don't know who the sperm donor is.

I was about to say the same thing. was she doing buying cigarettes with a baby on the way?

You want to know something else? I've considered getting a part time job, but I don't think I would ever get a third shift one working at a place like that. Too many crazies running around that time of night.

[MSFHWraith]

Here's another...
My gas station was located on the last "civilized" exit on the interstate for miles. Past us, there was naught but truck stops, and the exits were sprinkled quite lightly over the land. Because of that, and the affluence of the nearby neighborhood, there were quite a few homeless people who sit near the exit ramps begging for change. Some of them make more money than me, and a number of them aren't really homeless, but that's another story. It's also of note that I live in Tennessee, and last year a law was enacted which made it illegal to sell alcohol to someone without an ID. I don't mean that we have to check it the first time, I mean we have to check it every time. The reason for this is that criminals tend to buy beer, and our state is planning on adding a magnetic strip to the back of our IDs. Eventually instead of just checking IDs, we will scan them on a machine that does the checking for us. If the person is wanted, the police will be silently summoned to the area. In any case, I got the feeling that I was the only clerk in the entire state that followed that law. I got a lot of "You know I'm over 21!", and I simply pointed at the sign stating "We require ID for ALL alcohol purchases!" Anyways, these two points coincide in one homeless man who came into the store every night attempting to purchase beer. Even when we were allowed to sell him beer, every time he bought it he would drink it on the store's grounds, which is a crime as we don't have a license to allow people to drink on our property. Now that we required ID, there was another reason added that he wouldn't get beer. And he simply could not get it through his head. Every day, he would come into the store, walk to the back and grab a beer, then bring it up to the desk. And every time, I would scan the beer and ask him for his ID(It's a good idea to get the beer out of their reach before carding them, it helps prevent grab and go). He never had it, and always pleaded his case that he needed beer and that that law was BS. The thing is, he always came in and acted like it was fine for him to buy beer without an ID, as if he had forgotten the conversation we had had every night for months. Eventually, I stopped him on his way to the cooler with this:
"Sir, in addition to the charges that I would face, you would also be charged with illegally purchasing a drink without ID. If you take another step towards that cooler, I will call the police and have you arrested for both attempting again and again to try and do something you know is illegal, as well as the multiple open container violations you've committed on our property."
Now, I don't know if someone can be arrested for attempting a misdemeanor over and over again, but the threat worked and he left the store. The next day my manager told me that he actually sells the guy alcohol, without giving me a good reason for doing so. The reason? I'm not entirely sure, but I think it has something to do with our homeless friend being a drug dealer as well.

[MSFHWraith]

And a couple quicker ones.

I was sweeping the floors of the station when I hear a loud "thud" coming from the other door. I shift my gaze to see a kid--maybe 18 years old, MAYBE-- sliding down the door to the store. It was apparent from his pose and flatness that he ran headfirst into the door as fast as possible. Our doors open outwards, since the customer is more likely to have free hands on the way IN the store. I approach the door and open it as the guy jumps into the back seat of the car, through the window. There are four other kids in the car, and I ask them, "Can I help you?". The response was something akin to, "Looking...snickers..got any?" I look back and reply "Yeah, sure, they're 86 cents, after tax"(So I memorize all the prices in the store, sue me). At that, they peel away as fast as they can. I take their license plate number and call the non-emergency police, telling them that it's likely the punks wanted to try a beer run but couldn't work the door. The dispatcher laughs and tells me that they must be the same car full of punks that were called in earlier. They had attempted to break into a closed supermarket an hour or so ago by throwing a large rock at the window, and the rock simply bounced off the window and came back at their car, possibly denting it. We had a good laugh about that one.

I had another poorly-attempted theft, in which an older man came in with a three-ring binder. I could tell from the angle he was carrying it that it was empty, and he goes over to the map section. In addition to the fold-out maps that most places carry, we also have a number of road atlases. I'm not too worried about being robbed by an old man, so I take care of a little bit of paperwork while he browses. As he's about to leave, I scan the atlas section, and sure enough, two of them are missing. I move in front of the door, clear my throat, and hold my hand out.
W:My atlases, please?
SC:Wha? Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot that I had them! My age must be getting to me...
(I get him to open the binder, and the spiral-bound atlases have been put into the rings)
W:And you also forgot the part where you closed my atlases into your binder?
SC:Um....
I take my atlases back and kick him out of the store. A sad state of affairs when even the elderly attempt to steal from you.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Here's a good story I have from two years ago....

Our store was being remodeled and we had contractors moving and cutting down our gondolas overnight. I was working 5 pm to 1:30 unloading the truck and helping third shift fill. At around 11:30 I had to go to the bathroom.

As I passed the entrance, the manual doors between the automatic doors opened and in came 4 or 5 high-school aged kids, like they were going to do some shopping.

Me: What are you doing in here?
Kids: The door was open!
Me: I'm sorry, but unless you guys are with the contractors I'm going to have to ask you to leave.

And the kids left. Then the alarm started going off--after they had left the store. They could've helped themselves to some nice 5-fingered discounts before anybody would've known. It was a very fortunate thing I had to answer nature's call right then.

It turned out the closing manager didn't check the doors to make sure they had locked before she left for the night. She got an earful about that.

[Sharsarannon]

SC: You can't do that! I'm pregnant! *At this point, she takes a swing at me, which misses entirely. I grab the fist and open the door, gently pushing her out*

It is a stroke of fortune that it was you and not I in that position. See, I have this reflex left over from a bit of training that when anyone takes a punch at me I step to the side, catch their wrist and strike their elbow the wrong way. This breaks it ninetyfive percent of the time, and makes them suddenly rethink any form of violence.

I so would have brought it to a noisy end right then. The nerve of that lady. People like that make me loud and talkative. Grr.

[Jadedcarguy]

It is a stroke of fortune that it was you and not I in that position. See, I have this reflex left over from a bit of training that when anyone takes a punch at me I step to the side, catch their wrist and strike their elbow the wrong way. This breaks it ninetyfive percent of the time, and makes them suddenly rethink any form of violence.

I so would have brought it to a noisy end right then. The nerve of that lady. People like that make me loud and talkative. Grr.

You can't do that! She's pregnant!

[Becks]

Blink.

Blinketty blink...

:adding a few more blinks: