Pizza Pizza Pizza (warning: will rot brain)

[customersruinmylife]

OK, so a few of you might know, my bar is a couple of doors away from a hotel. The hotel is basically a no frills place, it doesn't have a bar or restaurant, so most of their customers come down to us to eat, which is great for business.

A very confident looking customer came up to the bar. He was very cheery...at first.

SC: Hi! I'm from the hotel! They recommended getting food from here seeing as they refuse to feed me!
Me: OK then sir, what can I get you?
SC: I'll have a pizza! Room 408!

He turns to walk away.

Me: Wait a moment sir, there are a few problems.
SC: Oh, what's the problem?
Me: Well, for one thing, we don't actually sell ANY pizza here, and another is that if you wish to eat, you have to eat in here.
SC: So you won't bring it to my room?
Me: Unfortunately we can't sir, the hotel is a seperate business to us, and we can't have our own employees wandering around looking for people's rooms when they are needed here.
SC: But I want to eat in my room.
Me: I'm very sorry sir, but we can't provide that kind of service for you. The only way you will be able to eat in your room is if you go to a place that serves take away food.
SC: But I want to eat in my room.
Me: Yes, I understand that sir, but there is nothing I can do about that. Are you sure you don't want to eat here? If you just pick out a table number and a menu...
SC: I already told you I wanted pizza.
Me: I'm afraid we don't serve pizza here sir.
SC: But I want one, room 408.
Me: I'm sorry, but as I have already stated several times, we do not have any pizza, and we don't send our employees to work in the hotel. They are just our neighbours, not part of this business, we don't even share the same building as them.

The customer looked very confused at this point, and several other customers were now staring at him.

SC: Can't I just have a pizza?
Me: We do not serve pizza here.

I hand him a menu.

Me: Those are the selections of meals we have sir.
SC: Where's the pizza menu?
Me: We DO NOT serve pizza here sir!

He scans the menu.

SC: OK, I will have the lasagne. Room 408!
Me: Sir! You have to eat HERE.
SC: The hotel said you would give me food!
Me: Yes, but you have to eat it HERE!
SC: Oh forget it! Thank you for wasting my time!

He stormed off, several customers burst out laughing as he walked away.

I turned to the other customers.

Me: Give me five seconds. I just need to jump start my brain.

[air914]

Wow let's hope he had just come off a loooooooooong flight and was severely jet lagged.......

[Boozy]

Hey, do you guys serve pizza?


(runs away...)

[Soulstealer]

Is there anything in your restaurant that gives indication that you sell pizza? Perhaps a giant pizza handing out fliers outside your store?

[Quicksilver]

Some people just don't listen and this proves it. I worked at a Pizza Hut once that was right next to a Taco Bell. Oh what fun.....

[Kara]

For one thing, he could get something to go. But not pizza. Maybe a Waaahmburger.

[justZu]

SC: Hi! I'm from the hotel! They recommended getting food from here seeing as they refuse to feed me!

Oh for Pete's sake. He makes it sound like they have a restaurant and kitchen but refuse to give him anything - poor baby.

It would've been kind of funny if you could've pretended to give in and said "Ok fine sir. We will have a pizza delivered to your room in 45 minutes". Then sent him away to wait...and wait...and wait. Maybe that would teach him to listen. Especially if it was close to closing time, so when he came back to complain everyone would be gone and your restaurant would be closed and dark.

[Kiwi]

I would have just let him walk right out

wait for his pizza, all alone in his room

and wait

and wait...

and wait

[Shabo]

Or next time you could just spout out random things for his order. For example:

Him: Pizza.
You: Spaghetti?
Him: No. Pizza.
You: Pastrami on Rye?
Him: NO! PIZZA!
You: A wheat bagel? Man. It really sucks when someone doesn't listen to you, huh. Please listen carefully. WE. DON'T. SERVE. PIZZA. WE. DON'T. DO. ROOM. SERVICE. kthxbie

[XCashier]

I turned to the other customers.

Me: Give me five seconds. I just need to jump start my brain.

I hope your other customers got a giggle out of that, too, and were much better than that non-listening idiot.

People like that you just want to grab by the neck and do this to their head ->

[greensinestro]

SC: Oh forget it! Thank you for wasting my time!

Is that his great way of blaming someone else for his stupidity?

[Tigress]

I hope your other customers got a giggle out of that, too, and were much better than that non-listening idiot.

People like that you just want to grab by the neck and do this to their head ->

Ooh, evil thought:

I was playing God of War 2 last night and had gotten to the parts where Kratos makes the priests read the books that open the gates to the Fates, bashes their heads on the pedestal when they don't read fast enough, and then kills them by bashing their heads on the pedestal until they stop moving.

That story made me want to do something similar to that customer.

(Grab, put his face near the menu.)
"Read the menu."
"But I want a pizza."
*BASH*
"Read it!"
"Room 408!"
*BASH*
"Read the words!"
"But... Pizza!"
*BASH* "We." *BASH* "Don't." *BASH* "Serve." *BASH* "Pizza."

Kratos, Customer Service Specialist Extraordinaire.

[NotSoInnocent]

Ooh, evil thought:

<snip>

*BASH* "We." *BASH* "Don't." *BASH* "Serve." *BASH* "Pizza."

Kratos, Customer Service Specialist Extraordinaire.

OMG

[BookstoreEscapee]

Hey, I just ordered a pizza...and I expect it to come to me...












of course, I ordered it from a PIZZA place that delivers...hmm, what a concept...









OK, OK, I'll be honest, my dad ordered it.

Edit: My pizza was yummy, in case you were wondering

[XCashier]

*BASH* "We." *BASH* "Don't." *BASH* "Serve." *BASH* "Pizza."

Precisely! Bonus points if customer's thick skull manages to damage the wall!