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  • By way of introduction...

    ...I bring you SC stories that I have built up! Yay!
    (Oh, for reference, I work in a small law firm as the secretary/proto-paralegal/notary public.)

    That's insane!
    This guy calls. Apparently, he has been scheduled for deposition, and he is UNHAPPY about it. Pretty much all he could tell me was, "It's insane. You can't just schedule someone for something without asking first. That's insane. Isn't it insane?" Sure, guy, whatever.

    After talking with my boss, not only do I find out that yes, one can be subpoenad for deposition without regard to one's schedule, IT WASN'T EVEN OUR FIRM THAT CALLED HIM!!! It was the opposing attorney. Great. So, being the nice secretary I am, I call him back and let him know that he has to call the other attorney. He says, "Well, I called him, but I couldn't get ahold of him." Oh. So you know we can't do anything for you? Who's insane here? Again, he reverts to his mantra of, "That's insane! Isn't it insane?" I try to be professional, I even try funny ("Sir, I cannot vouch for the sanity of anyone else at court."), but he won't stop. Eventually he starts accusing me! "You're stuttering!" Yes. When I get flummoxed, I stutter. I'm a little sensitive about that, thank you. SO SHUT UP!! I informed my boss that I never have to speak to this man again.

    Her Majesty does not approve.
    This crazy woman was not even the client!! Her granddaughter had to speak with my boss, so she comes out into the lobby. "Hmph," she says, surveying the place as though she were royalty and not white trash, "if this is ALL he can afford..." "He's so young!!" she says disapprovingly. "He's not that expensive. He kept saying how he's so expensive. He's mid-range at best!" I told her that she could pay more, he would not mind. "Hmph." After sitting and "hmph"-ing for a bit, she asks if she can borrow my phone book. I have decided to be the very soul of helpfulness, if only to get her to shut up. She starts flipping through the phone book and SHOPPING FOR OTHER LAWYERS. In our lobby. Yeah. She just kept talking badly about my boss (of whom I am very fond, btw), and going "hmph." I probably would have asked her to leave, but every time I went in to the office to bring more papers for approval, the granddaughter would apologize profusely. "Just think," she said, "I have to live with her." Poor girl.

    But he's in your building!
    SC=Not the brightest bulb in the box
    Me=Goddess among secretaries

    SC: Hi. My wife and I are gettin' a divorce, and she hired an attorney, and he's in your building, and he's on the tenth floor...

    Me: I'm sorry, that's not us sir, we're on the fifth.

    SC: Ok, but he's on the tenth floor...

    Me: Yes sir, I'm sorry, he's not one of our attorneys.

    SC: But can't you look somewhere?

    Me: No sir, there are a lot of law firms in this building, and I don't have a list.

    SC: But he's on the tenth floor!

    GAAHHH!!! This goes on for about five minutes. So at what point, you ask, do I recieve deification? He accidentally lets slip some useful information which enables me to look it up online. The divorce had been filed, which means all info is in the court's online system. I actually find the answer for him. ^_^
    We have enough youth. How about a "Fountain of Smart"?

  • #2
    Shaniqua don't live here! *snaps fingers*

    Oh, sorry... (ducks and covers)
    Jim: Fact: Bears eat beets. Bears. Beets. Battlestar Gallactica.
    Dwight: Bears don't eat bee... Hey! What are you doing?
    The Office

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    • #3
      OOOoooooh, some nice ones there, Rapz.

      Heh... we've got a Raps and a Rapz now.
      ...WHY DO YOU TEMPT WHAT LITTLE FAITH IN HUMANITY I HAVE!?! -- Kalga
      And I want a pony for Christmas but neither of us is getting what we want OK! What you are asking is impossible. -- Wicked Lexi

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      • #4
        Eventually he starts accusing me! "You're stuttering!" Yes. When I get flummoxed, I stutter. I'm a little sensitive about that, thank you. SO SHUT UP!! I informed my boss that I never have to speak to this man again.

        Because y-y-you k-k-k-k-k-k-eep y-y-y-elling at m-m-m-m-eeee!

        Maybe he's been watching too much of "The Breakfast Club" if he thinks that means anything...
        I don't go in for ancient wisdom
        I don't believe just 'cause ideas are tenacious
        It means that they're worthy - Tim Minchin, "White Wine in the Sun"

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        • #5
          Quoth JustADude View Post

          Heh... we've got a Raps and a Rapz now.
          SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY! Come see TOTAL RAPALATION as the para legal and the ewok jello wrestle it out! Surpise Ref is the scottish dude from the sky train!


          Sorry. I do not know what came over me.

          As you were.
          Well fiddle dee dee!!

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          • #6
            Quoth Rappunzill View Post
            I told her that she could pay more, he would not mind.
            Rock on!!!!!!!!!
            Unseen but seeing
            oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
            There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
            3rd shift needs love, too
            RIP, mo bhrionglóid

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