Being cussed out and hit on within 24 hours (looong)

[adarhysenthe]

I'd been blessed without annoyances again...until this week. Argh. So here's my two stories.

Are you Asian??

CW: Coworker
SC: None other than the most prejudiced immigrant I've met so far. He had an accent that sometimes made him hard to understand.
Me: Not gifted with a clue in this.
M: Manager/owner and happens to be Korean with a noticable accent at times (I've never had trouble understanding him)

(I mention M's race because it plays a part in this. Race honestly doesn't matter to me, I'm an equal oppurtunity oogler of males of my own age group...mmmm--sorry, back to the post.)

To set the stage, I opened the store early and alone, and recieved a phone call as I was helping a customer. I answered it, heard a lot of mumbling about M&M colors. All I said was "Yes, we have those colors." The girl thanked me and hung up and I finished with the lady I was ringing up. About five hours later, when my CW had shown up and given me my breaks, a man enters and with a quiet-ish voice starts talking to me after I greet him.

Me: Hello, how can I help you?
SC: *points at the display of M&Ms and all their seperate colors* If I buy a pound can I get a quarter pound free?
Me: Do you have a coupon?
SC: No.
Me: Then I'm afraid not.
*repeat five times*
SC: That's what the [other store] said you could do! *finally getting to another point*
Me: [Other store]?
SC: Yes, they called and then told me you could do that!
Me: When did they call?
SC: This morning!
Me: I have been here all morning and all day, and none of our callers mentioned anything and my manger mentioned no such promotion. If you like, I can call him and see what I can do.
SC: *flatly* Please.
Me: *call M and tell him what's going on and hang up after getting the answer--which is exactly what I told the guy already*I'm sorry sir, but without a coupon, I cannot give you a quarter pound free with a pound.
SC: I've told you five or six times now I don't have a coupon!
Me: Then there's nothing I can do for you.
SC: This is *bleep!*ing ridiculous! You all are *awhoooooooga!*ing morons!!!
Me: *dangerous glare* Excuse me? *daring him to cuss at me again*
SC: I want to talk to your manager.
Me: *sigh--I'd already called him once on this so I can't just say he's not here. Plus, I like it when M tells people off and I no longer want to deal with this guy. So I call him up* M, the customer I just called you about wants to talk to you. *hand over the phone without waiting for M to respond*

The SC begins by asking "Don't you train your workers here??" and it all goes downhill from there. Most of this was muttered and neither CW nor I could really follow it, though a few choice epithets were heard. This goes on for about six minutes (yes I timed it) when the SC slams the phone down on the scale witha loud clang and leaves, grumbling. I pick up the phone and notice it was still on.

Me: M?
M: [Me]?
Me: What'd he say?
M: He's gone?
Me: Yeah he left--oh wait, he's coming back.

SC: *stomping--this man is literally 40+ years old and acting liek a misbehaving 2 year old* I want his card!
M: If he wants my card *cant's hear this, mind you* give him the reciept header.
CW: *does what I tell him*

Long story short, when M comes in an hour later (as he'd promised). The SC had ranted to him about the price of the specialty M&Ms being different than what the other store had told him--they seemed to have told him we could give him the M&Ms at the normal bulk candy price (the seperated colors are a higher price set by the M&M Co., not us, I'd like to note. The other store did not have these specialty M&Ms at all, so they didn't necessarily know that and while they may have asked me, my answer did not say "yes" about the prices).

When M tries to explain, the man breaks out with a "You're Asian, aren't you??" and M gets ticked. So now M is in the store, had already called corporate, and really wanting to go after this guy. He also called the other store, warned them the guy might be coming back and informing them of the different price set. Oh, and the next day I was given a raise. Cool, huh?

Let's make something happen.

SC: Talkin' like he know's LA ghetto, yo!
Me: Hello again
M: Manager/owner

The next day I'm closing. A loud guy comes into the store and walks right up to me, invading my personal space by a foot and a half.

Me: *backing up* Hi, can I help you?
SC: 'Sus *raps name of store like he's ghetto*
Me: Not much, you? *being polite*
SC: I'm just lookin' for some honeys, yo. How 'bout you?
Me: I'm working. *getting nervous and irritated*
SC: Cool, cool. *looks at some candy and spots another of my CWs* Hey, you two sisters?
CW: *practically runs into the back room, ditching me with this guy. Thanks*
Me: No.
SC: Too bad. *looks through candy and his cell rings. He answers and I assume whoever called asked him what he was doing* Oh, I'm out trolling for sex! *really loud...and then repeats himself louder* I said I'm out trolling for sex!!
Me: *thinking* Oh great, how the hell do I get out of this??? *getting behind the counter to force distance*
SC: *comes up and pays for candy* So what's your name?
Me: *give it, not looking at him, just ringing him up to get him out of here*
SC: You workin' tomorrow?
Me: Dunno.
SC: When's your next day off?
Me: Dunno. Have a nice day. *put the change on the scale so I don't have to touch his hand*
SC: Maybe I'll stop by and see if we can make somethin' happen. *winks and leaves*
Me: *go to the back and shiver like mad, feeling violated*

I end up seeing him twice more that night and avoid him every time and point him out to M so he can deal with him next. After that I haven't seen him. Of course, at home, when I tell my roommate she yells "Where is your backbone?? You should have told him he was making you uncomfortable and kicked him out!" After telling her not to yell at me again, I pointed out that my lying tongue was faster than my truth telling tongue.

[Sharsarannon]

I end up seeing him twice more that night and avoid him every time and point him out to M so he can deal with him next. After that I haven't seen him. Of course, at home, when I tell my roommate she yells "Where is your backbone?? You should have told him he was making you uncomfortable and kicked him out!" After telling her not to yell at me again, I pointed out that my lying tongue was faster than my truth telling tongue.

That's not quuuite what I told you. I did mention the possibility of lying, showing him a picture of us and claiming to be a lesbian and therefore uninterested. Or, better yet, wait until his little chav butt shows up again and call me so I can come give him a piece of my mind, a threatening glare and possibly a personal escort out of the premises.

[chainedbarista]

that might backfire; he might get excited and ask if he can watch you together.

[Rappunzill]

Ew. Ew ew ew. I'm sorry.

[Sharsarannon]

that might backfire; he might get excited and ask if he can watch you together.

At which point I grin and inform him that "I'm the tomboy half of our little Relationship" and that if he doesn't leave I will grind him to a bloody pulp under my knuckles.
Outrageous lies are fun.
Very sincere threats are even more fun.

[adarhysenthe]

And nwo people know why I think Sharsarannon here and Mysty would get along. Well, that and they're both Aspies.

And yeah, my coworker and I speculated on claiming to be lesbians to make him leave and I told her he was just sleezy enough to probably ask to watch. We both shuddered about it and I showered when I got home.

[jnd4rusty]

Do you work at M&M World?? Just curious, you don't have to answer. I went to M&M World when I was in Vegas in March. What a fabulous store, but I almost freaked when I ended up paying over nine dollars for a pound of M&M's!!! I did not realize that they would be THAT expensive. Awesome colors though and I had requests from some co-workers for certain colors and I was able to get those colors for them.

[JustADude]

Very sincere threats are even more fun.

The most fun, though, is the quiet little promise of what will be.

Let your expression go completely flat, drop your voice, and very calmly and quietly tell them "If you don't stop/leave, right now, things are going to get... unpleasant." That's pretty much quashed just about all my conflicts then and there. I'm a 6'5" 370lb behemoth of a man, though, so YMMV.

[Lyrax]

Threats

The male sex-crazed ogler is a difficult and shifty foe, especially for the average female, who tends to be smaller and less intimidating than said ogler, not per force, but as a general rule. The male sex-crazed ogler will infrequently bother females who are more intimidating than he is.

While a concealed weapon can do much to boost the female's confidence (very much!), this is not always feasible. In cases where a weapon is not an option, calling in a burly and/or heavyset security guard or coworker can curb the outrageous behavior of the ogler. It's amazing how willing some men are to talk about sex when they are only in the company of females.

Tactics laying claim to lesbianism and/or threats of direct violence from the female may work, but are likely to backfire, especially against oglers of the sex-crazed variety. Threatening to call the cops and bust his buns for sexual assault has a far superior success rate.

[Gawdzillers]

At which point I grin and inform him that "I'm the tomboy half of our little Relationship" and that if he doesn't leave I will grind him to a bloody pulp under my knuckles.

I find that hot.
I have to go do something now.

[Jester]

The most fun, though, is the quiet little promise of what will be.

Let your expression go completely flat, drop your voice, and very calmly and quietly tell them "If you don't stop/leave, right now, things are going to get... unpleasant." That's pretty much quashed just about all my conflicts then and there. I'm a 6'5" 370lb behemoth of a man, though, so YMMV.

I am 5'8" and about 150.

When I make quiet little promises like you list above, people tend to notice that I am not my usual exhuberant self, that my voice is much quieter, that my expression is much more....disturbingly calm, and that I do not appear to be joking in any way shape or form. And that I appear to not only be confident but absolutely certain that what I just said would happen WILL happen.

It works pretty well from my diminutive size as it does from yours. Of course, it helps that I am not merely portraying myself as being absolutely certain it will happen. I AM absolutely certain it will happen. I don't make idle threats.

Of course, with you, you can get away with being completely vague.

Me, I tend to be a bit more...descriptive. One good example I said one day to a particular punk, in the tone mentioned above: "If I ever see you with my niece or on this property again, the police won't even find any DNA evidence that you ever existed."

Haven't seen him since.

[karma_gypsy]

Why couldn't you tell Mr. "O to the G - Ler" that you were married? Or in a serious relationship?




Speaking of which, an older guy was hitting on me earlier today . . . creeped me the heck out. His son, probably about my age, didn't say a word . . . How come none of the hotties ever hit on me??? Is it the ring? Do dirty old, hardup men just ignore the ring and figure they could just hit on me anyway? And whenever they ask about it, they always have to point and touch my damned ring saying "Is this the only ring you have " or "Is this a Wedding or Engagement ring?" (it's a Diamond solitare, nothing fancy - it's actually my engagement ring as my Wedding ring is at home).

Don't touch the Diamond dammit, you'll make it lose value!

[allniter]

If you ever want to get out of this, just make an accusation towards them. For instance:

If they come close to you, call them a perv and to stop hitting on you, you're not gay (say it even if you are, it'll still piss them off and confuse them.) Tell them you're calling the cops and having them arrested for harrassment.

[JustADude]

Of course, it helps that I am not merely portraying myself as being absolutely certain it will happen. I AM absolutely certain it will happen. I don't make idle threats.

Of course, with you, you can get away with being completely vague.

Actually, I learned how to do it by looking back on how I acted when I really was in genuine high-tension situations of that type.

When it gets to that point for real I get explicit as hell, but when I'm trying to intimidate someone into backing down before that point, I've found "or things will get... unpleasant" delivered with the right tone and shift of expression will back pretty much make people back down. You've got to put the pause in there, too. It may sound cheesy as hell, but it's all in the delivery.

[Jester]

Oh, it IS all in the delivery. But two identical deliveries of those identical lines given by a guy who is 6'5"/370 and a guy who is 5'8"/150 are probably not going to have the same effect.

I am not saying I cannot have an affect on people. I am just saying when a guy of your intimidating dimensions gets in someone's face, that someone usually doesn't need things spelled out to know he needs to stop whatever he's doing.

Size ain't everything....but it doesn't hurt, either!