Two posts in one night, but these are worth it.
M: Me, counting down the days until I snap and bring my knife collection to work
C: Stupid, Spoiled Paris Hilton Wanna-Be Whore
That right there should tell you how this is going to go.
---
This is even better than the computer story
It was another wonderful day in Best Buy Computer Land. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and it seemed like a day where customers would keep me from beating their heads out with a blunt object for one more day until my weekend off.
And then the bitch descended upon Computer Land and made Jon the sales associate very sad.
Descending on my department in a cloud of skank, with her minions in tow behind her, she came up where I was helping a customer and demanded my attention immediately. Dressed in the latest fashionable jail bait, this upstanding fifteen=year-old genius decided that her burning need for a network adapter was great enough where she stalked me through the department as I was helping the customer until I was finished. I don't know if it was the STDs surely gathering strength in her loins that made her irritable this fine day, but she decided that the agenda today was attitude. It didn't work out well for her.
C: *looks to Minion 1* Tell him.
1: She's looking for a network adapter that's USB
M: All right...
I lead the harpy over, minions in tow, but I'm out of stock on the product.
M: I do carry them, but I'm out of stock right now, sorry bout that.
C: What do you mean you're out of stock?
M: I mean I don't have the product.
C: So what am I supposed to do?
M: Well I can check another store or I can find you something else that will work.
C: No, you don't know what you're talking about, I'll just look myself.
Harpy-girl stomps down the aisle and starts to pull product off her shelf. The minions look uncomfortable, but obviously don't have guts to stand up to her. I decide that I'll leave her alone but head to the end of the aisle, a good twenty feet away to make sure she doesn't steal anything.
C: What are you doing? I told you to go away.
M: I'm not anywhere near you, I'm just standing at the aisle in case another customer needs help.
C: Well I don't want you here. Get someone else to stand there. You can leave.
At this point I've had enough. I promise the rest of this is word for word.
M: No thanks. I think I'll stand here. Thank you for your permission, but I can do what I want in my store.
Skank queen looks at me and actually drops the product, with this shocked look on her face.
C: Excuse me?!
I just stare at her, she goes back to looking.
M: None of those will do what you want, they're all wireless adapters, not network adapters.
C: *holds an internal network card up* This will do it. *tries to look smug*
M: Yes, it will. And if you hadn't come in here with an attitude, I would have been more than happy to show you that.
C: I didn't come in here with an attitude. You wouldn't go away and leave me alone until I let you help me.
M: You stalked me, scared away the customer, and had her tell me what you wanted *pointing to Minion 1*. Then you got pissed when I told you we were out of stock and said I didn't know what I was doing. What exactly am I taking out of context here?
She looks at me, half shocked, half enraged that someone is standing up to her.
C: You know, your customer service really sucks.
M: I give as good as I get.
C: *slams the product down* Your store just lost a sale because of you. I'll never shop here again.
M: You promise?
C: Get me your manager. Right now!
M: I don't have to do dick for you. You want to talk to them, you find them. But first, pick that up off the floor.
C: No!
M: Pick it up or I'll call the mall cops and have you escorted out for vandalism and trespassing.
We have a brief staring contest, she picks up the product and slams it on the shelf, stomping out. The minions look like they're on the verge of cheering, and one actually whispers an apology as they leave.
A few minutes later my manager comes back, trying not to laugh. Making a pretense of being serious, he tells me that I shouldn't stifle a customer if they ask me to leave. It's not hard to guess she tried to pop an attitude with him too, because it's obvious he didn't give a damn about what I said.
The sale I lost, by the way? All of a whopping twenty dollars.
M: Me, counting down the days until I snap and bring my knife collection to work
C: Stupid, Spoiled Paris Hilton Wanna-Be Whore
That right there should tell you how this is going to go.
---
This is even better than the computer story
It was another wonderful day in Best Buy Computer Land. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and it seemed like a day where customers would keep me from beating their heads out with a blunt object for one more day until my weekend off.
And then the bitch descended upon Computer Land and made Jon the sales associate very sad.
Descending on my department in a cloud of skank, with her minions in tow behind her, she came up where I was helping a customer and demanded my attention immediately. Dressed in the latest fashionable jail bait, this upstanding fifteen=year-old genius decided that her burning need for a network adapter was great enough where she stalked me through the department as I was helping the customer until I was finished. I don't know if it was the STDs surely gathering strength in her loins that made her irritable this fine day, but she decided that the agenda today was attitude. It didn't work out well for her.
C: *looks to Minion 1* Tell him.
1: She's looking for a network adapter that's USB
M: All right...
I lead the harpy over, minions in tow, but I'm out of stock on the product.
M: I do carry them, but I'm out of stock right now, sorry bout that.
C: What do you mean you're out of stock?
M: I mean I don't have the product.
C: So what am I supposed to do?
M: Well I can check another store or I can find you something else that will work.
C: No, you don't know what you're talking about, I'll just look myself.
Harpy-girl stomps down the aisle and starts to pull product off her shelf. The minions look uncomfortable, but obviously don't have guts to stand up to her. I decide that I'll leave her alone but head to the end of the aisle, a good twenty feet away to make sure she doesn't steal anything.
C: What are you doing? I told you to go away.
M: I'm not anywhere near you, I'm just standing at the aisle in case another customer needs help.
C: Well I don't want you here. Get someone else to stand there. You can leave.
At this point I've had enough. I promise the rest of this is word for word.
M: No thanks. I think I'll stand here. Thank you for your permission, but I can do what I want in my store.
Skank queen looks at me and actually drops the product, with this shocked look on her face.
C: Excuse me?!
I just stare at her, she goes back to looking.
M: None of those will do what you want, they're all wireless adapters, not network adapters.
C: *holds an internal network card up* This will do it. *tries to look smug*
M: Yes, it will. And if you hadn't come in here with an attitude, I would have been more than happy to show you that.
C: I didn't come in here with an attitude. You wouldn't go away and leave me alone until I let you help me.
M: You stalked me, scared away the customer, and had her tell me what you wanted *pointing to Minion 1*. Then you got pissed when I told you we were out of stock and said I didn't know what I was doing. What exactly am I taking out of context here?
She looks at me, half shocked, half enraged that someone is standing up to her.
C: You know, your customer service really sucks.
M: I give as good as I get.
C: *slams the product down* Your store just lost a sale because of you. I'll never shop here again.
M: You promise?
C: Get me your manager. Right now!
M: I don't have to do dick for you. You want to talk to them, you find them. But first, pick that up off the floor.
C: No!
M: Pick it up or I'll call the mall cops and have you escorted out for vandalism and trespassing.
We have a brief staring contest, she picks up the product and slams it on the shelf, stomping out. The minions look like they're on the verge of cheering, and one actually whispers an apology as they leave.
A few minutes later my manager comes back, trying not to laugh. Making a pretense of being serious, he tells me that I shouldn't stifle a customer if they ask me to leave. It's not hard to guess she tried to pop an attitude with him too, because it's obvious he didn't give a damn about what I said.
The sale I lost, by the way? All of a whopping twenty dollars.
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