Wherein my brain processes go "boink"

[CancelMyService]

OK, I'm not sure if this guy was senile, drunk, or just technology impaired; but it made my first day back from vacation a fun one:

COG: Confused Old Guy
Me: Henchman of the Evil Cable Empire

(Background: He was calling in because one of his TVs was not working, the other one apparently was fine)

COG: My box won't turn on! (this could mean anything from it's not getting a picture to it's not physically powering on)

Me: *runs through troubleshooting processes* Is your box on now?
COG: My box was on! My TV won't power on! (OK, maybe he thinks box = TV)
Me: OK, are there any lights on your TV right now?
COG: Yeah, my TV's on but I can't get my box to power on!
Me: *debating on sticking my hand into my desk fan* OK, can you tell me if your TV and cable box are both physically turned on?
COG: My box has the time on it, my TV won't power up!
Me: *seeing this is getting nowhere at warp speed* OK, why don't I just get someone out there to check everything out?

COG agrees, and I go to set things up..........and.............OH NO! There was an outage in his area about two hours ago that hasn't cleared the system yet. Our system won't allow us to schedule a tech out during an outage so as not to have 80 billion truck rolls for the same problem. So COG is out of luck for the time being. Sucks, but at least he still has a functioning TV right (he mentioned it at the very start of our convo)?

Well..........


Me: Oops, looks like there was an outage in your area so I'm not able to schedule someone out right now.
COG: *silence*...................*more silence*..........*gets into "dude, you still alive?" silence*
Me: Hello?
COG: Oh, I'm waiting to hear when you're sending the tech out.
Me: Well unfortunately I can't schedule anyone out right now because there's still an outage showing up from earlier today.
COG: *repeat of above uncomfortable silence*
Me: Hello sir?
COG: So when is the tech coming out?

*fast forward this dance repeating two more times*

Now we get to the grand finale:

COG: So I'm not going to be charged for today am I? I don't have any TV in this room:
Me: Well since you have another functioning TV I can't really give you any credit when the service is still being provided to your house.
COG: *suddenly gets less confused and more sucky* but I can't watch it on this set! I shouldn't have to pay for a television I can't watch!"
Me: We don't charge per TV (this is a common SC complaint from the old timers, they used to charge per set a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG time ago), so as long as the service is being provided to the house we can't issue any credit!
COG: *boils over into the usual SC froth of demanding credit until hanging up after promising (threatening?) to call back tomorrow*

Seriously, why demand credit just because one of your TVs isn't functioning? Wouldn't it be a clue that if you have service on another set that maybe, I don't know.........IT'S NOT THE CABLE??

[powerboy]

I think that it is time that he got hit by the Clue x four(we really need that smiley on here)
If every TV is on, that would tell me, maybe it is that one TV.

[Can I Help Your A$$?]

How much you wanna bet he just can't figure out the controls on his remote? Sometimes I forget, and I turn the tv on, thereby turning my cable box off. You just have to press the "cable" button, and voila, etc etc.

[CancelMyService]

How much you wanna bet he just can't figure out the controls on his remote? Sometimes I forget, and I turn the tv on, thereby turning my cable box off. You just have to press the "cable" button, and voila, etc etc.

9 times out of 10 that's what it ends up being, and they won't believe it because the box is still showing the time (which it does no matter if it's off or on).

I had a similar type of caller today while listening in with a new hire. The guy who refuses to believe that the batteries in remote controls eventually die.

[Pagan]

The guy who refuses to believe that the batteries in remote controls eventually die.

Ok, you succeeded. My brain just went "boink" with yours!

[LostMyMind]

I would bet the remote was set up to "power on" the TV and the cable box. (I got mine set up that way too). And his TV was on and the cable box was off. So every time he turn one on, the other turned off.

He just seem confused. Most older (being P.C. here) tends to get confused real easy. My grandfather and grandmother was very easily confused. Everything had to be set up to make it 1 or 2 step to get things easier for them.