today's sucky customer brought to you by the letters H and M. For honey mustard.

[cloudiko]

Quite possibly the dumbest argument yet. Which says the lot about this lady.

This whole incident happens while I am standing at the till, checking people out. Next in line is this large, middle-aged woman who happened to have her kid with her. She hadn't been sucky prior to this, and I really wasn't expecting her to get sucky now...but she surprised me. She was a sneaky SC....Onward to argument #1:

LAW: large angry woman
Me:

Me: Hi ma'am, how was everything this evening?
LAW: *thrusts coupon at me* I have a coupon.
Me: (thinking: that's nice. Wow.) Okay. Just to let you know, this coupon has a time limit on it, and it only works between 4 and 9pm. (It is currently 10:30 in the evening, well over what usually works.) So, there is a possibility that this coupon might not work, but I will try it anyway.
LAW: WHAT?! It doesn't say that!
Me: Yes, it does. Right here. *gestures at the obvious bright yellow lettering on a green background that says "valid from 4-9pm".)
LAW: WHAT? It didn't say that before!
Me: Yes, it always has. We've only been giving those out in the last year and a half. I was hired when this was a new coupon. But I will try it anyway, sometimes it works.
LAW: Okay. It better work.
Me: (thinking: thanks halfwit. I appriciate your forcefulness on this matter.) *punches in discount amount, and lo and behold - it works!* Okay ma'am, it worked, so your new total is $xx.xx.
LAW: Does that include the discount?
Me: ...Yes.
LAW: And the cup of honey mustard dressing I wanted?
Me: You mean a little plastic cup? (note: it's small, usually holds a couple of spoonfuls of dressing for our takeout orders)
LAW: *shakes head* No. I mean a cup.
Me: You mean a black soup cup? (note: also used for takeout orders. holds a ladleful and a half of soup)
LAW: *starting to turn red in anger* NO! I want a styrofoam CUP of honey mustard dressing!!!!
Me: I don't think we can do that for you.
LAW: But the others always let me do it. I come here every week at this time and get it.
Me: No, you aren't here every week at this time. I would notice, considering I have been working this shift for three months straight.
LAW: *starting to get angry* I WANT THE DRESSING!
Me: Let me go get my manager. I have no idea how to ring this up, and I don't know if I can.
LAW: You better figure it out! (said while I am walking away)

So, I go and talk to my manager. H says the lady is full of crap. I completely agree. However, LAW is getting angrier by the moment, and I ask H if she can go and talk to this lady and explain to her that we aren't going to do it for her. H agrees, and goes out to the floor.


Thus, argument 2:

H: Hi ma'am, what can I do for you?
LAW: I want my honey mustard dressing! I come in every week and get it from you guys for $3 a cup. I want the dressing!
H: Ma'am, I have been working here for five years, and not once have I ever seen you come in and get dressing. Do you have the name of a manager who has been giving it to you?
LAW: I don't know! I just want my dressing!
H: Ma'am, we can't give it to you. It costs the Restuarant about $10 a bottle for the dressing. You're ripping us off by only paying $3.
LAW: I get it all the time!
Me: (thinking: are you a broken record? Or a child throwing a temper tantrum?)
H: I don't care if you get it all the time. We can't keep giving it to you. Our food costs are already very high.
LAW: But I get it every week from you. You haven't had any problem with it until now!
H: If it is B that is giving you the dressing, than I am going to leave him a nasty note in the office. He knows about our food costs without giving some woman a cup of dressing for a ripoff price.
LAW: Can't you just give me the dressing?
Me: (thinking: Wow, you just don't know when no is no...)
H: *sighs, knowing this is going nowhere* This is the last time, ma'am. If you come in again and ask for it, you aren't going to get it. I will make sure of it. *turns to me, and says in a loud voice* cloudiko, give this lady her cup of dressing so she can get the hell out of my restuarant. And have a nice day. *sugary sweet smile to the bitchy lady*
Me: *gives the lady her dressing, and she stomps out of the Restuarant*
H: Thank God she's gone...besides, what the hell does she do with all that dressing anyway? Every week? Good lord.

Me: I have the most awesome manager.

[dalejrfan71]

I would have put horseradish in the bottom of the cup, then the honey mustard dressing on top of that to hide the horseradish.

[blas]

Oh the threats and the force!!

Why do customers think saying things like "You'd BETTER....." and "I don't care, DO IT!" and etc will make us more willing to help them?

They think they are so clever and soooo scary, don't they?

[Becks]

Maybe you guys can get some cheap store brand salad dressing and keep it on hand for her. I'm sure a profit can be made from it.

[Bright_Star]

I would have told her that she wasn't gonna get it no matter how LOUD she got.

[Jester]

LAW: WHAT?! It doesn't say that!
Me: Yes, it does. Right here. *gestures at the obvious bright yellow lettering on a green background that says "valid from 4-9pm".)
LAW: WHAT? It didn't say that before!

You got us lady. While you were standing there, right in front of you, we whipped out our invisible printer and added that restriction to your coupon, without you ever seeing a thing. We do this occasionally out of malicious spite and because we enjoy pissing random customers off with such shenanigans. You are way too clever, though, as you saw right through that ploy. Our hats are off to you, and from now on, when you are in our establishment, you will only walk on rose petals and eat all the free honey mustard you want. Heck, forget eating it....we will actually get you an IV and mainline honey mustard dressing right into your blood stream. Whatever it takes to make you happy, milady.

In the future, however, please give us some notice of any other outlandish requests or demands you may have. We'll be happy to grant them, of course, but we would like to have some warning so we can prepare by applying some petroleum jelly to our rectums.

[bigjimaz]

Oh the threats and the force!!

Why do customers think saying things like "You'd BETTER....." and "I don't care, DO IT!" and etc will make us more willing to help them?

They think they are so clever and soooo scary, don't they?

It worked, didn't it?

[CancelMyService]

Thats what I was thinking, now all her tantruming was justified and now she can correctly state she got the dressing before, all for the joy of the next person cursed with waiting on her.

[Pagan]

I would have put horseradish in the bottom of the cup, then the honey mustard dressing on top of that to hide the horseradish.

That wouldn't really be a bad thing. I've had this http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/reci..._24909,00.html before and the honey-mustard dipping sauce with horseradish in it is really, really good!

[Barefootgirl]

But...but...but...you gave her the mustard ! Now she has precedent that "everytime" she comes in, someone gives her a cup of HM dressing ! Never mind, i am sure you'll be able to post about her again and again and again now.

Its a shame H didn't show some backbone and simply ask the lady to leave the store.

[Lace Neil Singer]

That would have been better, to tell her to get out and never darken your doorstep again. By giving her what she wants, you've given her permission to come back and throw an even bigger tantrum.

[mariamousie1]

I love the way the words she doesn't like just magically appeared on the coupon when she stepped into the store. How long have you been giving out these enchanted coupons?

[cloudiko]

I love the way the words she doesn't like just magically appeared on the coupon when she stepped into the store. How long have you been giving out these enchanted coupons?

I know. That's just how cool the Restuarant is. We secretly have coupon-elves in the back making enchanted duplicate coupons. Whenever someone comes up to me at the till and they say "I have this coupon for..." and hand it to me, POOF! It is magically replaced by a replica that has words on it that SCs don't like. Things like time limits and VALID WEEKDAYS ONLY. And, as if to make things better, the coupon elves are in the back, shredding all the good coupons into confetti for our awkward after-work party. I live for confrontation.

Right - I was ticked that this woman managed to get her stupid dressing in the first place. H tried to reason with her, but the woman refused to leave without it. She threw this tissy fit for so long that H just had to give up. I wish that it would have worked out better. However, it was nice that H told her to get the hell out of the Restuarant. And called her stupid to her face. Those were the small pluses out of this argument. Oh, and there's this tiny sign on the back door that reads: "If a large woman comes in wanting honey mustard, tell her NO!".
I still want to throw her stupid honey mustard in her face.

[Banrion]

Too bad she is too lazy to just go buy some at the grocery store. I spent years trying to figure out what kind of HM Denny's used, and one day I found it in all of it's sweety and tangy glory. Now I can buy it 2 for $5 at the store.

[rerant]

So she bitched, she complained, she yelled and she whined and in the end she got what she wanted.

Great.