Lots of my customers are very, very intelligent. Smart as whips, they are. Pinnacles of humanity, the lot of them.
That being said, it's completely understandable when they try to explain the inner workings of my company to me. In light of this, I'm sure you can all understand why conversations like the one below do not bother me at all.
Prof. Dumbass: Weren't you guys bought by Blockbuster?
Me: No. About a year ago Blockbuster tried to obtain control of the Hollywood Entertainment Corporation in a hostile takeover, but it didn't work.
Prof. Dumbass: Isn't that the same as buying the company?
Me: No. A hostile takeover is when a company tries to take over a company whether the management of said company wants them to or not. Usually it's accomplished by buying large amounts of publically available stock. It's rather difficult to do unless the company on the offensive has a great deal of buying power and the defensive company's stocks have high liquidity.
Prof. Dumbass: So Blockbuster bought you?
Me: No. To prevent Blockbuster from taking over Hollywood using that stock-buying tactic that I explained to you a second ago, we merged with Movie Gallery.
Prof. Dumbass: Oh, that's Blockbuster. I told you they bought you.
Me: No, it's not Blockbuster. It's the third largest movie rental chain in the country, we're the second largest, Blockbuster is the first."
Prof. Dumbass: But aren't you guys all the same company since Blockbuster bought you?
Me: No, they didn't buy us. If they had bought us after the merger with Movie Gallery, they would own all the major movie rental chains in America and therefore they would be in violation of anti-trust laws. That's why we merged with Movie Gallery in the first place, to prevent them from taking control of the company.
Prof. Dumbass: ...
Me: ...
Prof. Dumbass: I'm pretty sure you're wrong. I read that Blockbuster bought you. You should ask your manager, he'll tell you.
A perfectly legitimate conversation, about which I am not bitter. At all. You will just not believe how not bitter I am. I am the anti-bitter, if you will.
Please shoot me...
That being said, it's completely understandable when they try to explain the inner workings of my company to me. In light of this, I'm sure you can all understand why conversations like the one below do not bother me at all.
Prof. Dumbass: Weren't you guys bought by Blockbuster?
Me: No. About a year ago Blockbuster tried to obtain control of the Hollywood Entertainment Corporation in a hostile takeover, but it didn't work.
Prof. Dumbass: Isn't that the same as buying the company?
Me: No. A hostile takeover is when a company tries to take over a company whether the management of said company wants them to or not. Usually it's accomplished by buying large amounts of publically available stock. It's rather difficult to do unless the company on the offensive has a great deal of buying power and the defensive company's stocks have high liquidity.
Prof. Dumbass: So Blockbuster bought you?
Me: No. To prevent Blockbuster from taking over Hollywood using that stock-buying tactic that I explained to you a second ago, we merged with Movie Gallery.
Prof. Dumbass: Oh, that's Blockbuster. I told you they bought you.
Me: No, it's not Blockbuster. It's the third largest movie rental chain in the country, we're the second largest, Blockbuster is the first."
Prof. Dumbass: But aren't you guys all the same company since Blockbuster bought you?
Me: No, they didn't buy us. If they had bought us after the merger with Movie Gallery, they would own all the major movie rental chains in America and therefore they would be in violation of anti-trust laws. That's why we merged with Movie Gallery in the first place, to prevent them from taking control of the company.
Prof. Dumbass: ...
Me: ...
Prof. Dumbass: I'm pretty sure you're wrong. I read that Blockbuster bought you. You should ask your manager, he'll tell you.
A perfectly legitimate conversation, about which I am not bitter. At all. You will just not believe how not bitter I am. I am the anti-bitter, if you will.
Please shoot me...
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