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Billy asked his mother, "Can I go over to Little Johnnie's house and watch the magic show?" Billy's mother replied, "Whatever do you mean, dear?" He answered, "The one Johnny's mom performs ... I heard her tell Miss Figpot that she got $600 for doing six tricks last night. That must be some kind of show!"
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Little Johnny goes to school, and the teacher says, 'Today we are going to
learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a
multi-syllable word?'
Little Johnny waves his hand, 'Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!'
Miss Rogers: 'All right, little Johnny, what is your multi-syllable word?'
Little Johnny says, 'Mas-tur-bate.'
Miss Rogers smiles and says, 'Wow, little Johnny, that's a mouthful.'
Little Johnny says, 'No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob".
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Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
"Why?" asks the father.
"The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3?' I said '6'"
"But that's right!"
"Then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'"
"What's the fucking difference?" asks the father.
"That's what I said!
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Johnny was in the playground with his friend Jimmy when he noticed the brand new shiney watch Jimmy was wearing. "Did you get that for your birthday?" he asked. "Nope," Jimmy replied.
"Well did you get it for Christmas then?" Johnny asked.
"Nope."
"You didn't steal it did you?"
"No," said Jimmy. "I went into Mum and Dad's bedroom the other night when they were on the job. Dad gave me his watch to get rid of me."
Johnny was extremely impressed with this idea, and extremely jealous of Jimmy's new watch. He vowed to get one for himself. That night he waited outside his parents room until he heard the unmistakeable noises of lovemaking. Johnny swung the door wide open and boldly strode into the bedroom. His father, caught in mid stroke, turned andasked him angrily, "What do you want now?"
"I wanna watch," Johnny replied.
"Well stand in the corner and keep quiet then," said his father returning to the job at hand.
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Little Johnny and Jane are playing in a sandbox. Little Johnny has to go to take a pee but he was told by his mother to always be polite and don't talk about private matters in public.
At first he holds it in for a little while because he does not know what to say Jane to excuse himself. Then he remembers what his Mom had said at the restaurant to excuse herself from the table. So he turns to Jane and says "Will you excuse me I have to go powder my nose." And saying that he leaps out of the sandbox and runs to the washroom.
When he comes back Jane looks up at him and asks, "Did you powder your nose?"
"Yes" said Little Johnny stepping back into the sandbox.
"Well then" says Jane, "You'd better close your compact because your lipstick is hanging out!"
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A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!" After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?" "No, ma'am,but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"
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Little Johnny goes to school, and the teacher says, 'Today we are going to
learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a
multi-syllable word?'
Little Johnny waves his hand, 'Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!'
Miss Rogers: 'All right, little Johnny, what is your multi-syllable word?'
Little Johnny says, 'Mas-tur-bate.'
Miss Rogers smiles and says, 'Wow, little Johnny, that's a mouthful.'
Little Johnny says, 'No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob".
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Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
"Why?" asks the father.
"The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3?' I said '6'"
"But that's right!"
"Then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'"
"What's the fucking difference?" asks the father.
"That's what I said!
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Johnny was in the playground with his friend Jimmy when he noticed the brand new shiney watch Jimmy was wearing. "Did you get that for your birthday?" he asked. "Nope," Jimmy replied.
"Well did you get it for Christmas then?" Johnny asked.
"Nope."
"You didn't steal it did you?"
"No," said Jimmy. "I went into Mum and Dad's bedroom the other night when they were on the job. Dad gave me his watch to get rid of me."
Johnny was extremely impressed with this idea, and extremely jealous of Jimmy's new watch. He vowed to get one for himself. That night he waited outside his parents room until he heard the unmistakeable noises of lovemaking. Johnny swung the door wide open and boldly strode into the bedroom. His father, caught in mid stroke, turned andasked him angrily, "What do you want now?"
"I wanna watch," Johnny replied.
"Well stand in the corner and keep quiet then," said his father returning to the job at hand.
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Little Johnny and Jane are playing in a sandbox. Little Johnny has to go to take a pee but he was told by his mother to always be polite and don't talk about private matters in public.
At first he holds it in for a little while because he does not know what to say Jane to excuse himself. Then he remembers what his Mom had said at the restaurant to excuse herself from the table. So he turns to Jane and says "Will you excuse me I have to go powder my nose." And saying that he leaps out of the sandbox and runs to the washroom.
When he comes back Jane looks up at him and asks, "Did you powder your nose?"
"Yes" said Little Johnny stepping back into the sandbox.
"Well then" says Jane, "You'd better close your compact because your lipstick is hanging out!"
__________________
A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!" After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?" "No, ma'am,but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"