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My first story. People, don't destroy your kids' heads. (long)

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  • My first story. People, don't destroy your kids' heads. (long)

    Alright, so I work in the framing department at a nationwide craft store. Wear the apron and everything.

    I'll note here and now I'm not the religious type. I don't truck with religion as a whole, but to each their own. I can't prove who's right, so live and let live, right?

    Anyway, a week or so ago--on a Sunday--my manager yanks me from the counter to build a grid (for those not in the know, it's made of 2-by-X pieces of a metal, well, grid, zip-tied together) that she says I must finish that night, or noone's going home until it's done.

    It's noon, the planogram set calls for eight hours, we close at 7:00, and these planograms suck The photoes don't at all match the build pictures, the measurements are off (seven 2-foot-wide pieces do not make for a ten-foot floorspace...), I've had to traipse around the parking lot in triple-degree heat four times for a measly few carts, and I'm getting called to register--the front register!--every ten minutes, with all the hassles and SC's that includes (No, it's the green button. Turn your card this way. Sure, I can take a check, but you should have started searching your purse when I started ringing up your $300 worth of stuff...)

    Anyway. that's not really relevant, but I'm not a happy camper at this point. And to make matters worse, here comes a mother with all the wrinkles and sagging posture that comes only from having a small child, with said little girl in the seat.

    "Mommy! Look! Look! Mommy, look! Look mommy, look! Look! Look! Mommy!"
    "Yes, sweetie."
    "Lookit his hair, mommy!"

    At this point, despite trying to ignore the child, I'm sure she's talking about me. I used to have an undercut (long hair at the crown of my head, short beneath) that fell halfway down my back. A couple months ago I had it hacked to the shortest tail possible, and haven't cut it since. And after my day, the shorter portion had rebelled against all my attempts to keep it down and back, and decided to bush outward at every possible opportunity. But at least everything long enough is tied back.

    I also have a beard (the type that fallows my jawline, no moustache), have taken to wearing an old frayed military cap when I'm not at work, and by this point entirely expect people to start dropping me change when I'm waiting for my ride after we close. Anyway,

    "Mommy! Hair! Lookit his hair!"
    "Yes, hair. Do you like his hair?"
    "He's got long hair! He's trying to be a girl!" Sigh.
    "Hush! That's not polite!" At this point, she turns to glance at me--thankfully after I finish my usual sigh-and-head-roll.

    I catch my couple nearest coworkers staring at her at this point, so I stand up from my post, put a friendly-looking smile (seriously, we floor workers deserve Grammies for these, amirite?), and walk up to her. Gesture to her child, with a quick "Mind if I explain?" She gestured to go ahead, so I stooped down to the kid's eye level, who is now gaping at me wide-eyed.

    "Hi there! You've got long hair, too. It's very pretty. People tell you you have pretty hair, don't they?" Honestly, I hate children, but she just beamed.
    "Uh-huh!"
    "And do you think mine could be as pretty, too, if I combed it and curled it and all that?" I push my fingers through it, flip it over my shoulder, etc. She giggles.
    "Well... Have you ever had to stay home from school because you got sick?"
    "...Uh-huh..."
    "Well, some people my age and mommy's age and grandma's age get really sick, and stay sick for a long time. My mom got sick like that. And they take medicine that helps them get better, but it makes their pretty hair fall out."
    "Oh."
    "So what I do, is let mine get really long. And when it's about as long as yours, I go and have it aallll cut off." I pinch a bit between a couple fingers against my scalp to show her.
    "Why?"
    "Because then, I give it to a place that gives it to the sick people, so they have their pretty hair back."
    "Oh! That's nice!"

    I do this because A) I'm still sort of a nice guy, and that was a true story, and 2) I'm lazy about haircuts.

    So now I have two coworkers and maybe eight or ten customers looking at me like I'm standing on water and while healing the blind and summoning bread for the hungry from thin air.

    I pat the kid's shoulder, stand, and smile at the mom. She gave me this little smile that I thought was just worn-out from the little girl, but it looked... pitying. She walks off, and not ten feet away, the girl looks up at her mom, worried.

    "Mommy, will you get sick like that?"

    Not "I hope not!" or "I wouldn't worry about it."

    Her answer?

    "Of course not. God makes people sick for being bad people."

    Jaws dropped. Never in my life have I seen such a large collective 'OMGWTF!?' look.

    But to the little girl's credit, she scrunched up her forehead in the best possible 'that's not right!' look a four-year-old can possibly form.
    Last edited by Rapscallion; 08-15-2007, 09:23 AM.

  • #2
    Quoth Deus Machina View Post
    "Of course not. God makes people sick for being bad people."
    Lovely. What a nice thing to teach a kid.

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    • #3
      Sounds to me like the lady was mad at you for being the kid's parent more than she actually is. Kind of a spit in your face for being nice.
      Purveyor of all chickeny goodness, and chicken ninja of the highest grade!
      "With it's indiscriminate slaughter of organic tissue, nothing can survive." - Mongo Skruddgemire

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      • #4
        Frankly I would have ignored the kid. I've got long hair, and I just ignore the rude comments. I hate kids, so that would be another reason for me not to do anything. Kudos to explaining it to the kid. But damn that woman was rude.
        It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.
        ~~~H.L. Mencken

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        • #5
          Yeah, usually I just ignore the wicked little creatures, but this kid was loud.

          I've also had people call me "ma'am" before, but it's always adults, and almost always when they approach from the side.

          Fine, lady, I'll reply to "ma'am" as soon as you find me a woman with my fashion in clothes and facial hair.
          Last edited by Ree; 08-15-2007, 11:23 AM.

          Comment


          • #6
            As the nephew of a woman who received one of the "Locks of Love" wigs, I want to thank you for selflessly giving your hair to a good cause. You, Sir, are a prince and I thank you.
            This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

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            • #7
              But, then, that would make the mother a bad person! Which means she will get sick!

              I vote Bubonic Plague. "Ring around the rosie, pocketful of posies..."
              "IT stands away, interrupting himself from the incessant hammering of the kittens…"

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              • #8
                You're beautiful. Thanks for being so.

                As for the woman, well, karma has a way of making people eat their words. For the child's sake, I hope it passes her by.

                But it probably won't.

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                • #9
                  Quoth Deus Machina View Post

                  Fine, lady, I'll reply to "ma'am" as soon as you find me a woman with my fashion in clothes and facial hair.
                  Well I've not been to a circus in quite a while. Can I have some cotton candy too?
                  How was I supposed to know someone was slipping you Birth Control in the food I've been making for you lately?

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                  • #10
                    ok first of you are a sweet and well tempered man and how that woman didnt get chewed out i dont know second, i hope that little girl doesnt get too screwed up by her mother...

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                    • #11
                      Quoth Deus Machina View Post
                      Fine, lady, I'll reply to "ma'am" as soon as you find me a woman with my fashion in clothes and facial hair.
                      I'm in the San Francisco area, they're pretty darn common in certain neighborhoods. They make the Pat character from SNL look like a lipstick lesbian.
                      Labor boards have info on local laws for free
                      HR believes the first person in the door
                      Learn how to go over whackamole bosses' heads safely
                      Document everything
                      CS proves Dunning-Kruger effect

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                      • #12
                        Fine, find me a woman that wears baggy, often frayed and torn jeans and T-shirts, a floppy cadet cap, and has a jawline beard and to days of stubble (I'm young; I can get away with a day or two) and I'll let you call me "ma'am" and find some vouchers for cotton candy and funnelcakes.

                        And, yes, between a generally mild disposition and years in retail, I have a long temper. To people's face, anyway.

                        And thanks for the thanks, but I do the hair thing because I've known a few people that went through it, and my own mom is just finishing the post-chemo checkups and veinwork after a few affected lymph nodes. She's what actually got me started on it.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Quoth Deus Machina View Post
                          Fine, find me a woman that wears baggy, often frayed and torn jeans and T-shirts, a floppy cadet cap, and has a jawline beard and to days of stubble (I'm young; I can get away with a day or two) and I'll let you call me "ma'am" and find some vouchers for cotton candy and funnelcakes.
                          *grin*
                          I've probably got PCOS (see link)
                          All I need is the hat, and you owe me candyfloss and whatever funnelcakes are.
                          http://www.nhsdirect.nhs.uk/articles...0&sectionId=10

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Quoth Deus Machina View Post
                            Her answer?

                            "Of course not. God makes people sick for being bad people."

                            Jaws dropped. Never in my life have I seen such a large collective 'OMGWTF!?' look.
                            To be fair, there are a few religions, christian and otherwise, who have varying beliefs like that. It's still a foolish thing to blurt out in public that way, though.

                            (And I'll admit to finding a certain perverse humor when one of those groups leaders becomes sick. I'll admit it; I'm human.)

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              That Mother was a freak. Way to go for you, though.
                              "Because that's how magical meteoric size-altering space goo works." IMDB Message boards.

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