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Wednesday is my last day at Cumberland Farms (Yay!). Combine this with a flu/bug that's been making me sick for nearly two weeks now, and I have not been in a good mood to deal with people and their asinine crap, particularly from some of the 'regulars'.
MM = Moron McDumbass
Nicole = The man-hating lesbian who called me a 'F*CKING FAGGOT' for carding her one time.
MD = Miz Dipshit
Me = Wanting to curl up and die
This thing is not the same as that thing.
We sell those prepaid phones that people can buy the PINs for to recharge whenever they need. We just recently got a new system that prints the PIN off through the register, instead of a separate machine. During the switch over, I learned that Cingular had merged with AT&T, so all the little tags said AT&T now instead of Cingular (Way it works in our store is you find the tag for whatever phone you have, tell us the denomination you want, we scan it, and voila, new PIN).
MM: "I need fifteen on Cingular." *throws down money. Strike #1*
Me *looking like death warmed over*: "You need to bring one of the cards up from the stand over there." *points at HUGE stand across the store that says "PREPAID PHONE CARDS"*
McDumbass lumbers off in that direction, and I go back to contemplating the cost of seeing a doctor versus death by drowning in my own lung fluid (FYI, dying was cheaper). Then I hear this: "I dun' see any Cingular cards."
Me *without looking up*: "Cingular merged with AT&T, so just grab one of those and you're set."
MM: "I dun' see 'em."
I look up, and I can see them instantly. They're shades of orange and blue reserved only for frat house party puking, road flares, color-blind golfers, and seizure-inducing cartoons. I don't even need my glasses to see them from this distance.
Me *pointing*: "Dude, they're right there. The AT&T one."
MM *blinking*: "But that's AT&T, I want Cingular."
Me: "AT&T IS Cingular now. Just get that and it'll work fine."
MM: "But it's not Cingular! I dun' need AT&T!
Me *Grinding my teeth by this point*: "Apparently, we're losing something in communication. A. T. And. T. Is. Cingular. You want Cingular, you buy AT&T now."
Wash. Rinse. Repeat for another two minutes before he leaves even more confused than he was before stepping into the store. I suppose I could have tried to communicate better with him, but grunts, howls, and ball-scratching is generally frowned upon in the store.
Do you see "Bank" written across my forehead?
Like Gravekeeper's 867 knuckle-draggers, these people are the bane of my existence. Anyone who's worked convenience knows these people.
MD: "Pack of Marb reds please."
Me *thinking, 'It's Marl, you stump-humper, Marl'*: "Five twenty-eight."
MD whips out that brand new $100.
Me: "Can't break that, got anything smaller?" *this happens so often I've long since stopped apologizing for the so-called 'inconvenience'.*
MD *pulling a spectacular case of cat-butt face*: "But it's all I haaaavvvveeee! Don't you have the money in your registerrrrrrrr?!"
Me: "Yep, to ensure change for ALL customers, not just those with big bills. I see you have a credit card, you can use that if you like."
MD: "I'm not using my carrrrrd!"
Me *putting the smokes back*: "Might I suggest a bank then?"
MD *looking at me like I was crazy, which given the cold meds, I probably was*: "But the bank is clooooosssed!"
Me *shrugging*: "Sucks to be you then."
Yes, she did the whole valley-girl whine the entire time. I'm pretty sure I have lost brain cells to this dingbat, and they shall be lamented by the remaining survivors. Not the first time she's tried that tactic. You'd think they'd learn after seeing me working. I have a good majority of them trained to know what to expect upon seeing me working. Now if I could just get most of them to walk in front of a runaway freight train...
The Return of Thundercunt, I mean, Nicole (Long one)
I wrote about Nicole in one of my previous postings, she's the eternally pissed off woman who screamed I was a "fucking faggot!" for daring to card her for smokes. While there are claims that she is a lesbian, I can only assume this level of pissitude can only come from one who hasn't gotten any in a long, long, LONG time. Not surprising, most the town won't come within twenty feet of her.
We have a small 'island' of candy, mostly the usual stuff with a few lesser known candies. Regular size (standard Snickers, M&M's, etc) are 89 cent, king sized are $1.39, and theatre size are $1.99. At the bottom of the 'regulars' shelf are Tropical flavored Mike & Ikes. These are NOT considered a 'regular' and therefore are 99 cents, and marked as such on the bag.
Nicole came in one night while I was training our new closer. She grabs her usual coffee, and a bag of the Tropical Mike & Ikes. They rang up 99 cents, and she went off on her usual tirade of bitchery and complaining. Just to be nice, I had LJ (the new guy) rering them up as 89 cents. Partly just to be nice, and partly to get her the hell out of the store. I later found out she came back the next day and whinged that I was very unhelpful, and refused to 'honor' the price of regular candies. Needless to say, I was not happy being lied about. (Management later put up a sign basically saying "Prices as marked. This includes the Mike & Ikes.)
Joy of joys, she came in last night while I was working. Oh, the fun I had pushing her buttons.
Nicole: "What the hell is this?" *toeing the sign*
Me: "Just what it says. Regular candies are 89 cents, the Tropical flavored Mike & Ikes are 99 cents."
Nicole *going off*: "That's fucking bullshit! They're a regular candy, they're located with the rest of the regular candy!"
Me: "Just because they are with the rest, doesn't make them regular. We have 99 cents apple pies with the thirty-five cent snacks. Doesn't make them thirty-five cents."
Nicole: "Cut your fucking attitude, you're being a dick!"
Me: "Funny that, I usually am a dick to people who lie about me like you did earlier this week."
Nicole: "Your attitude sucks! I'm going to speak to talk to your manager and have you fucking fired!"
Me *grinning ear to ear*: "Go ahead, she could use the laugh, and I leave in five days anyways. Not that anything would happen, no one here likes you because you're always being a pissy bitch."
I don't recall what all was said after that. A lot of screaming of things that would make a sailor blush with shame, and storming out of the store. I'm sure she'll be back, unfortunately. Apparently, we have the only coffee she likes. I'm sure she'll get her ass banned eventually.
MM = Moron McDumbass
Nicole = The man-hating lesbian who called me a 'F*CKING FAGGOT' for carding her one time.
MD = Miz Dipshit
Me = Wanting to curl up and die
This thing is not the same as that thing.
We sell those prepaid phones that people can buy the PINs for to recharge whenever they need. We just recently got a new system that prints the PIN off through the register, instead of a separate machine. During the switch over, I learned that Cingular had merged with AT&T, so all the little tags said AT&T now instead of Cingular (Way it works in our store is you find the tag for whatever phone you have, tell us the denomination you want, we scan it, and voila, new PIN).
MM: "I need fifteen on Cingular." *throws down money. Strike #1*
Me *looking like death warmed over*: "You need to bring one of the cards up from the stand over there." *points at HUGE stand across the store that says "PREPAID PHONE CARDS"*
McDumbass lumbers off in that direction, and I go back to contemplating the cost of seeing a doctor versus death by drowning in my own lung fluid (FYI, dying was cheaper). Then I hear this: "I dun' see any Cingular cards."
Me *without looking up*: "Cingular merged with AT&T, so just grab one of those and you're set."
MM: "I dun' see 'em."
I look up, and I can see them instantly. They're shades of orange and blue reserved only for frat house party puking, road flares, color-blind golfers, and seizure-inducing cartoons. I don't even need my glasses to see them from this distance.
Me *pointing*: "Dude, they're right there. The AT&T one."
MM *blinking*: "But that's AT&T, I want Cingular."
Me: "AT&T IS Cingular now. Just get that and it'll work fine."
MM: "But it's not Cingular! I dun' need AT&T!
Me *Grinding my teeth by this point*: "Apparently, we're losing something in communication. A. T. And. T. Is. Cingular. You want Cingular, you buy AT&T now."
Wash. Rinse. Repeat for another two minutes before he leaves even more confused than he was before stepping into the store. I suppose I could have tried to communicate better with him, but grunts, howls, and ball-scratching is generally frowned upon in the store.
Do you see "Bank" written across my forehead?
Like Gravekeeper's 867 knuckle-draggers, these people are the bane of my existence. Anyone who's worked convenience knows these people.
MD: "Pack of Marb reds please."
Me *thinking, 'It's Marl, you stump-humper, Marl'*: "Five twenty-eight."
MD whips out that brand new $100.
Me: "Can't break that, got anything smaller?" *this happens so often I've long since stopped apologizing for the so-called 'inconvenience'.*
MD *pulling a spectacular case of cat-butt face*: "But it's all I haaaavvvveeee! Don't you have the money in your registerrrrrrrr?!"
Me: "Yep, to ensure change for ALL customers, not just those with big bills. I see you have a credit card, you can use that if you like."
MD: "I'm not using my carrrrrd!"
Me *putting the smokes back*: "Might I suggest a bank then?"
MD *looking at me like I was crazy, which given the cold meds, I probably was*: "But the bank is clooooosssed!"
Me *shrugging*: "Sucks to be you then."
Yes, she did the whole valley-girl whine the entire time. I'm pretty sure I have lost brain cells to this dingbat, and they shall be lamented by the remaining survivors. Not the first time she's tried that tactic. You'd think they'd learn after seeing me working. I have a good majority of them trained to know what to expect upon seeing me working. Now if I could just get most of them to walk in front of a runaway freight train...
The Return of Thundercunt, I mean, Nicole (Long one)
I wrote about Nicole in one of my previous postings, she's the eternally pissed off woman who screamed I was a "fucking faggot!" for daring to card her for smokes. While there are claims that she is a lesbian, I can only assume this level of pissitude can only come from one who hasn't gotten any in a long, long, LONG time. Not surprising, most the town won't come within twenty feet of her.
We have a small 'island' of candy, mostly the usual stuff with a few lesser known candies. Regular size (standard Snickers, M&M's, etc) are 89 cent, king sized are $1.39, and theatre size are $1.99. At the bottom of the 'regulars' shelf are Tropical flavored Mike & Ikes. These are NOT considered a 'regular' and therefore are 99 cents, and marked as such on the bag.
Nicole came in one night while I was training our new closer. She grabs her usual coffee, and a bag of the Tropical Mike & Ikes. They rang up 99 cents, and she went off on her usual tirade of bitchery and complaining. Just to be nice, I had LJ (the new guy) rering them up as 89 cents. Partly just to be nice, and partly to get her the hell out of the store. I later found out she came back the next day and whinged that I was very unhelpful, and refused to 'honor' the price of regular candies. Needless to say, I was not happy being lied about. (Management later put up a sign basically saying "Prices as marked. This includes the Mike & Ikes.)
Joy of joys, she came in last night while I was working. Oh, the fun I had pushing her buttons.
Nicole: "What the hell is this?" *toeing the sign*
Me: "Just what it says. Regular candies are 89 cents, the Tropical flavored Mike & Ikes are 99 cents."
Nicole *going off*: "That's fucking bullshit! They're a regular candy, they're located with the rest of the regular candy!"
Me: "Just because they are with the rest, doesn't make them regular. We have 99 cents apple pies with the thirty-five cent snacks. Doesn't make them thirty-five cents."
Nicole: "Cut your fucking attitude, you're being a dick!"
Me: "Funny that, I usually am a dick to people who lie about me like you did earlier this week."
Nicole: "Your attitude sucks! I'm going to speak to talk to your manager and have you fucking fired!"
Me *grinning ear to ear*: "Go ahead, she could use the laugh, and I leave in five days anyways. Not that anything would happen, no one here likes you because you're always being a pissy bitch."
I don't recall what all was said after that. A lot of screaming of things that would make a sailor blush with shame, and storming out of the store. I'm sure she'll be back, unfortunately. Apparently, we have the only coffee she likes. I'm sure she'll get her ass banned eventually.
Slam and Dunk. Bravo!
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