To All Scamming Morons: Doublecheck names FIRST!

[ZeoViolet]

This happened some years ago, but as I was reading through the CS comics on this site I was suddenly reminded of it.

Short and sweet:

A guy called the fast food joint where I used to work and said that his order had been seriously messed up, he'd spoken to our manager the night before and had been promised a bunch of free stuff as compensation.

The manager at the time thought this sounded fishy and checked: No record of such a call. She asked who he'd spoken to.

The name he gave was of a store manager who'd died over a year previously.

When informed of this, the caller/scammer excused himself hastily and hung up. Methinks if he ever tried it again, he worked a little harder at updating the facts he was using first.

[gunsage]

This kind of reminds me of a skit that was done on the since "vanished" show Con for Comedy Central. The premise of the show was Skyler Stone (who also made an appearance in Waiting) showed you how to "get things for free." Well, that wasn't entirely true...certain things appeared to take money, but anyway. In this particular episode, he says that what you do is find an old receipt you got from a pizza place, call them up and play this routine...

SS: "Yeah, hey, I ordered a pizza from you guys on such and such date and, well, I'm sorry for not calling about this earlier, but it had mushrooms on it. Yeah. Well, the thing is I had to throw it out because I'm allergic. Oh, that's okay..."

You see what I'm getting at here. Obviously this wouldn't work multiple times, but he showed how to do several things like that. It was an interesting, but clearly short-lived show. Were it not for the fact that he was BROADCASTING this stuff, I kinda wish I'd gotten more of those "tips."

[edible_hat]

I've had something similar (just the once so far)...

SC: "I know (people who sold the store 4 years ago) and they said I can have a discount."
Me: "If you really know them, you'd know they sold the place 4 years ago."

[Shironu-Akaineko]

The manager at the time thought this sounded fishy and checked: No record of such a call. She asked who he'd spoken to.

The name he gave was of a store manager who'd died over a year previously.

OUIJA BOARD!

[ZeoViolet]

*Laughs* Now THAT is funny.

[JustADude]

OUIJA BOARD!

*Laughs* Now THAT is funny.

Ouija Boards ≠ Fun! Ouija Boards = Gateway to Pure Evil*...

Wait... considering who was supposed to be using one I guess that fits. Asshat + Demonic Posession = Demonic Asshat that can talk to DEAD spineless managers and harangue them out of stuff.




*Dead serious about this part, though and not because I'm a Wiccan Basher. Those things are unshielded, unwarded invitations for whatever is in the vicinity to make itself at home, and using one opens you up to a world of trouble straight out of Exorcism of Emily Rose. With Halloween coming up, everyone be careful and add Ouija Boards to your "Just Say No" list, right below 'Russian Roulette with a semi-auto'.

[ZeoViolet]

Back on topic....

Pretty sad scam on this guy's part overall. He'd probably heard the name off of someone and thought he'd drop the scam, and nobody told him the guy had died....and when you say "I spoke to so and so (name of deceased)" your scamming plan falls apart. Duh.

[Can I Help Your A$$?]

"...and he drove the girl to the prom. As he drove on, he noticed that he still had her shawl. He decided to return it to the house where he picked her up. When he knocked on the door, the sad lady who answered said she died twenty years ago this very night."

[Gawdzillers]

This kind of reminds me of a skit that was done on the since "vanished" show Con for Comedy Central. The premise of the show was Skyler Stone (who also made an appearance in Waiting) showed you how to "get things for free." Well, that wasn't entirely true...certain things appeared to take money, but anyway. In this particular episode, he says that what you do is find an old receipt you got from a pizza place, call them up and play this routine...

SS: "Yeah, hey, I ordered a pizza from you guys on such and such date and, well, I'm sorry for not calling about this earlier, but it had mushrooms on it. Yeah. Well, the thing is I had to throw it out because I'm allergic. Oh, that's okay..."

You see what I'm getting at here. Obviously this wouldn't work multiple times, but he showed how to do several things like that. It was an interesting, but clearly short-lived show. Were it not for the fact that he was BROADCASTING this stuff, I kinda wish I'd gotten more of those "tips."

I remember one that worked, but I would think it was total bullshit.

He fished through a McDonald's trash can and found a receipt for a cheeseburger with no pickles.
He called up the McDonald's and said that he had been there earlier and had asked for no pickles, but they gave him pickles and he was late for work and couldn't tell them then. So they said ok and he rolled up in the drive-thru and got a free cheeseburger.

Maybe it was because he wasn't a total dickface about the complaint.

[ZeoViolet]

"...and he drove the girl to the prom. As he drove on, he noticed that he still had her shawl. He decided to return it to the house where he picked her up. When he knocked on the door, the sad lady who answered said she died twenty years ago this very night."

Yeah yeah, and the ghost of my old manager is probably rolling around in his grave knowing someone is still using his name saying they had spoken to him, trying to get free stuff, not realizing what he was claiming was impossible because of new management?

[terana]

This reminds me of the one customer I had when I lived in Texas working at a Burger King. Guy came in and complained that the milkshakes he had gotten earlier where wrong and that the manager said he could get new ones. Only one small problam with this, my store didn't care milkshakes. This guy throw the biggest hissy fit I had ever seen at the time. I took me *the manager on duty at the time* and all the employees showing him that we don't have a shake machine in the back for him to belive it. I had to tell him to go down the road about 2 miles and he would more than likely find the right Burger King. He walked out still bitching about not believing us that we had taken it apart and hid it from him so he couldn't get his milkshakes. *sigh* On days like those I just wanted to crawl in a hole and hide from people.

[ZeoViolet]

This reminds me of the one customer I had when I lived in Texas working at a Burger King. Guy came in and complained that the milkshakes he had gotten earlier where wrong and that the manager said he could get new ones. Only one small problam with this, my store didn't care milkshakes. This guy throw the biggest hissy fit I had ever seen at the time. I took me *the manager on duty at the time* and all the employees showing him that we don't have a shake machine in the back for him to belive it. I had to tell him to go down the road about 2 miles and he would more than likely find the right Burger King. He walked out still bitching about not believing us that we had taken it apart and hid it from him so he couldn't get his milkshakes. *sigh* On days like those I just wanted to crawl in a hole and hide from people.

Yes, I remember customers like this one also. You think you've seen them ALL, then you get constantly surprised by a new variation of Sucky Customer.

I already know what story I'll be posting next! A year as a page, two at McD's, six and a half at BK, all before my current job in a Deli gives one plenty to choose from....

[gunsage]

Yeah, I saw the McDonald's one too. The one I totally DIDN'T believe, however, was the one where he got a bunch of girls to clean his apartment for him by claiming it was a photoshoot. He did NOT explain how they didn't come back and kick his ASS for not paying them. The only logical explanation is he sold the pics and made money and by all rights, if that's TRULY the case, then honestly he paid for services rendered in a multi-tasked way. That's not truly a con.

[BookstoreEscapee]

I had someone once insisting that she spoke with the manager who said she could have some ridiculous discount. If it was like 10% I might have bought it, but even so, if the manager had consented to any discount, don't you think she would have let me know before you got to me? As it turned out, the manager (who takes shit from no one) happened to be walking by and heard, and shook her head at me from behind the customer, then came up to the register and dealt with her. That was the end of that.

[Imogene]

Ouija Boards ≠ Fun! Ouija Boards = Gateway to Pure Evil*...

My brother + anyone named Jenny/Jennifer/whatever + Ouija board= Gods damn, this is creeping me out.

Seriously.
My Mom used to run an in home daycare, one of her assistants had a daughter named Jennifer, and she and bro tried the Ouija board once, in the unfinished part of the basement, and got contact immediately, and I, as an observer, felt the room get extremely angry.
Another time, bro and Jen from across the street did the Ouija in a bathtub (no idea why they chose there, of all places) but they got contact as well. Seeing as the bathroom was tiny, I couldn't fit in there to observe, so I didn't feel anything that time.