Litany of Idiocy

[AnaKhouri]

I don't get enough SCs to warrant posting often, so here is a small list from the past couple months.


Case 1: What City Am I in Again?

I take a phone call.

SC: I need to get tickets to the signing on November 8th.
Me: I don't believe we are having a signing on that day.
SC: YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON IN YOUR OWN STORE?! It's a signing with >some name I have never heard before<!
Me>grrrr<: Hold please.

I go downstairs and check the calendar since Marketing is NEVER in for some reason.

Me: I'm sorry sir, we have no signing scheduled for November 8th.
SC: It's on your website! He played for the Steelers!
Me>lightbulb<: The...Pittsburgh Steelers?
SC: YES!
Me: Hold please.

On a sneaking suspicion I go to the website. The signing is not on our website. But it is on the website of our....PITTSBURGH store.

Me: Sir, that signing is at our Pittsburgh store. You have called >store that is nowhere near Pennsylvania<.
SC: Well how the hell did I get your number?
Me: I have no idea. Have a nice night.

Seriously, his number had the same area code as the Pittsburgh so obviously he lived there...didn't the fact that our store had an entirely different area code clue him in??


Case 2: False Advertising

My store has recently begun a loyalty card program. The program is stupid and only works if you spend TONS of money at our store (some people do). One of the things we explain to people when they ask if that they get discounts only on bestsellers, new CDs and DVDs and staff picks, and if they spend $200 they get back a $10 gift card. They don't get a blanket discount on everything in the store. I have heard all my colleagues pitch the program and have done it myself and we all make this very clear.

So I'm at the register with New Guy (NG) when I hear the woman he is helping start shrieking.

SC: I get 10% off my purchase! You didn't put my card in right!
NG: >explains what I just said above<
SC: That's false advertising! It's a rip-off! You're going to lose a lot of business over this! >stomps off<
NG: I didn't do it...

Now if this woman had actually paid attention to what she was being told when she bought the card, and if she'd actually BOTHERED TO READ the brochure we give every customer when they buy the card, she wouldn't have been so shocked.

Case 3: You have an elevator?

Our bookstore is two stories. We have an escalator and an elevator. The other day we discovered that an inspector declared our escalator to be so decrepit that it had to be shut down for more than a week to be repaired and brought up to the right standard.

This is a pain for the booksellers because it takes far longer to wait on the elevator than to take the escalator. But do the SCs think of this? Nooo...they are only concerned about their own inconvenience.

I cannot tell you how many times I have had this conversation.

SC: Just HOW am I supposed to get downstairs? This is a big pain!
Me: >You're telling me< There is an elevator right next to the Help Desk.
SC: You have an elevator? How long have you had an elevator?
Me: Since the building was constructed in 1983.

What gets me is the look of utter panic they get when they see the escalator is closed. It's like they just realized they may not be able to get everything they want right now when they want it.

And I see how you might not have noticed the elevator unless you actually need to use it, but why act so surprised? And I'm amazed by the sheer number of people that never noticed it even though I've seen them in the store all the time for the last 4 years.

[Brightglaive]

Our bookstore is two stories. We have an escalator and an elevator. The other day we discovered that an inspector declared our elevator to be so decrepit that it had to be shut down for more than a week to be repaired and brought up to the right standard.

I think you meant "The other day we discovered that an inspector declared our escalator to be so decrepit that it had to be shut down for more than a week to be repaired and brought up to the right standard

[AnaKhouri]

Ah, escalator. Thank you. Apparently I have been working with customers so ling that, like many of them, I don't know which is which (again, an amazing number of people call the escalator the elevator. Also, many don't know the difference between astrology and astronomy).

[solemnwarning]

Why don't they *gasp* use the stairs?
I'm assuming you've got stairs, if you follow the construction I've seen in most places you probably have them next to each other...

[AnaKhouri]

Actually...there are no stairs. So you have to give them that. It sucks for people who are afraid of elevators, I guess.

[solemnwarning]

Actually...there are no stairs. So you have to give them that. It sucks for people who are afraid of elevators, I guess.

And the escalators are blocked off so you can't use them as stairs?
I would find that really annoying :\

Come to think of it, I didn't know you could have a place like that, because of someone being trapped upstairs in a fire... etc

[Imogene]

"Come on, they built escalators for a purpose! They can never be out of order, they can only be stairs! 'We're sorry for the convenience'. "
</paraphrase>

[ta2ooed1]

"Come on, they built escalators for a purpose! They can never be out of order, they can only be stairs! 'We're sorry for the convenience'. "
</paraphrase>

But if they are under construction and all ripped up they can't be used as stairs either.

[rvdammit]

Come to think of it, I didn't know you could have a place like that, because of someone being trapped upstairs in a fire... etc

I'm hoping that stairs would be behind the fire exits, not part of the regular public space.

[Tigress]

"Come on, they built escalators for a purpose! They can never be out of order, they can only be stairs! 'We're sorry for the convenience'. "
</paraphrase>

"I like escalators because they can never be out of order. They can only become stairs. You'll never see a sign that says, 'Escalator temporarily out of order.' Just 'Escalator temporarily stairs. Sorry for the convenience.'"

I love Mitch Hedberg.

Also there's the story my mom told me about the power going out at the two-story Sears she worked at: About half her co-workers were standing at the top of the escalator, asking each other how in the heck they were supposed to get down. She merely walked through their gaggle, and walked down the escalators temporarily stairs.

[Metody]

In defense of the first guy - in Pittsburgh, the city itself is divided into several area codes, and outlaying areas have even more. If you ask for a phone number down here, you'll get one with ten digits. It's been this way for about ten years now, I think. He wouldn't bat an eye at hearing an unfamiliar number - if he thought about it at all, he'd probably assume that you guys had an office in a suburb to answer the phones.

I've lived in Pittsburgh all life, and I've gotten used to this to the point that I have a moment of 'wait, what?' when someone gives me a seven digit phone number.

[BookstoreEscapee]

OK, common sense would tell you that there is an elevator somewhere in order to comply with the Americans with Disabilities Act.

Of course, there's Common Sense and then there's Customer Sense...

SC: Just HOW am I supposed to get downstairs? This is a big pain!

Wait, how did they get upstairs in the first place?

[AnaKhouri]

The store is two stories but with separate entrances on each story. It's built on a hill if you can visualize that.

I know the escalator being down is an inconvenience, but the customers' reactions are out of line considering the magnitude of the problem. It's not the zombie apocalypse, people

[JustADude]

"I like escalators because they can never be out of order. They can only become stairs. You'll never see a sign that says, 'Escalator temporarily out of order.' Just 'Escalator temporarily stairs. Sorry for the convenience.'"

I love Mitch Hedberg.

That was the absolute FIRST thing I thought of when reading that story!

[wolfie]

I know the escalator being down is an inconvenience, but the customers' reactions are out of line considering the magnitude of the problem.

The escalator being down is an inconvenience - for people on the 1st floor wanting to go to the 2nd. Of course, if it were up, it would be an inconvenience for people on the 2nd floor wanting to go to the 1st.