You darn kids with your newfangled fonts

[Inker]

I'm a graphic designer, and while I rarely have to deal with clients directly, I do have to deal with middlemen who deal with my clients. Because in my company's head, it's easier to have an order go through an outsourced sales rep (who usually doesn't have a clue about design) before it comes to me. This usually results in a lot of pointless back and forth because they tend to forget that I need to know things like, oh, what color they want the logo. You know, little things like that.

One of the reps who works from home is an elderly gentleman, who I shall henceforth refer to as "OC" for "Old Coot". This is the same guy who once came in ranting and raving about how Bill Gates has a monopoly on everything because we're being fooled into thinking that our computers need an operating system. He wanted to know why we can't run computers without operating systems, and why we throw our money away to Microsoft. It's worth mentioning that I work on a Mac.

We have a pretty set system of placing art requests. Most people don't follow them, which is fine. But the one thing I absolutely need to know is when an order is due so I can prioritize which mundane conversation about the other missing information to start first.

OC places a request with me at around lunchtime. No details, no due date, just "erase this word and send it to this art dept". Ok, great. I figure if I get it to him by the end of the day he'll be happy.

I open the file and realize I don't have the fonts installed on my computer. For those of you who don't know, if I don't have the fonts used in a design, the program will substitute fonts (which usually look nothing like the original). The way to get around this is to convert fonts to outlines (turning each letter into a drawing rather than a pre-installed font). This preserves the integrity of the design and makes my life a hell of a lot easier.

I e-mail OC to tell him to have the client do this, and then go about my business with the other 20-something orders I have.

Then, at 4:30, the following suckage occurs:

*ring ring*
Me: Good afternoon, this is Inker, how can I help you?
OC: I..I don't understand your e-mail.
Me: If you forward it to the client, they should know what I mean.
OC: But...can't you just erase the word?
Me: I can, but since I don't have the fonts, the file will look very different when I send it on.
OC.....what?
Me: I don't have the correct fonts installed, and...
OC: (yelling) I don't give a damn about "fonts", I just need one word wiped off.
Me: I understand, but I can't do that without changing the entire look of the design. I can substitute a font if that's ok...
OC: (still yelling) NO NO NO. Just erase the one word! It's 4:30! It's not going to get there in time! This is a RUSH ORDER you know!

Actually, no, I had no idea this was a rush order. Why? Because you never gave me a due date, and I have 10 other rush orders I need to finish.

OC: Everything's a rush order these days! I wish you would have called me instead of e-mail, I don't check e-mail all the time like you youngsters. I don't know fonts and outlines and....BAH! (yes, he actually said "BAH")

E-Mail is the preferred communication in my office. It leaves me a nice paper trail when shit like this happens, to prove that no one gave me a due by date.

Me: If I had known it was a rush order, I would have called when the problem arose, but what i can do...
OC: IT DOESN'T MATTER! It's going to be LATE now! Next time just call me! Now it's going to be LATE and there's nothing we can do!
Me: I can substitute a similar font. It won't be exact, but it will be done, and it will get to the printer in time.
OC: No no no. I'll just have their artist do it.
Me:....what?
OC: They have a designer who would do it, but I said we'd do it.

So this whole time, there was someone who could have either converted the fonts to outlines, and/or erased the ONE WORD? I don't make commission. If our clients have an artist that can do the work, more power to them. I have plenty to keep me occupied. Also, you do realize that you wasted 20 minutes of both of our time yelling at me, when you could have been contacting this person? Just sayin.

Me: Well, then that sounds like a good solution.
OC: You realize I'll have to work overtime to fix this?

....you work from home.....


Me: I'm very sorry about that. As I said, if I had known it was a rush order, I would have called earlier to inform you, but as it was, I had several other orders that took priority. Again, I apologize for the inconvenience.
OC:*Grumble* all this for stupid fonts....

*click*

[hinakiba777]

I was about the start a giant rant about middle men. However, I realized that my job makes me middle man. In the hopes of not being hypocritical I will change my comment slightly.

Why does your company have middle men who don't know the important aspects of the design trade?

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I'm a graphic designer, too and I feel your pain. I love the "I dont' understand about fonts" part.

That's right, blockhead. That's why you hired a graphic designer.

I love it when people want to argue with me, saying "I don't understand." I'm like, I know you don't, BUT I DO. Just freaking do what I tell you, will you? Isnt' that why I work here????

To quote your idiot boss, "BAH!"

[wagegoth]

I'm not a graphic designer, but I do a lot of specialized software work. I keep telling the attorneys, "Please don't tell me what to do, tell me what you want. Then I'll tell you the best way to do it." I'm slowly getting them trained, especially the ones fresh out of law school.

[marasbaras]

Please don't tell me what to do, tell me what you want. Then I'll tell you the best way to do it.

I do the same thing with software. It's amazing how many people are experts in so many, many fields.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I've notice the more important a job is, and the more money that is to be spent on it, the less likely an actual graphic designer will be the one to actually, you know, DESIGN it. No, it's more likely to be designed by a bunch of taste-challenged suits in a meeting somewhere, none of whom have the vaguest notion of what the heck they are doing.

[rvdammit]

No, it's more likely to be designed by a bunch of taste-challenged suits in a meeting somewhere, none of whom have the vaguest notion of what the heck they are doing.

They know exactly what they're doing. Taking every vaguely positive bit of feedback ever and applying to the current project, relevance be damned.

[hinakiba777]

They know exactly what they're doing. Taking every vaguely positive bit of feedback ever and applying to the current project, relevance be damned.

That made me smile.

[Geek King]

I've notice the more important a job is, and the more money that is to be spent on it, the less likely an actual graphic designer will be the one to actually, you know, DESIGN it. No, it's more likely to be designed by a bunch of taste-challenged suits in a meeting somewhere, none of whom have the vaguest notion of what the heck they are doing.

Didn't you know? A Suit and tie make you 40% smarter, and look 130% more professional. At least that's what the boss says. I'm sure the dustbunnies on my collar from crawling around under desks installing computers just screams competency.

[Ill_Used_Heroine]

Back in the olden days (25+ years ago), my dad operated a small type shop in NYC, and he trained me to be a typographer. Think specialized phototypesetting machines (Compugraphic Editwriter 7700 and MCS 10/8400, if anyone even ever heard of them).

Anyway, we'd do small jobs (resumes) to large jobs (huge annual reports). Most of the small jobs were walk-ins, sent to us by the nearby printer. 9 times out of 10, they'd know absolutely NOTHING about what they wanted. I hated those customers. The regular customers gave us work all marked up and ready (9/10, helvetica light by 20 picas, justified, double line space between paragraphs, etc.) and all would be well.

Those SCs, however, would just say, "Oh, just pick any font, I don't care. Size? Oh, just make it fit on the page ... I'm sure you know best!" I'd cringe, but I'd do it, knowing what would happen when they came in to pick it up.

SC: What is THIS? This isn't what I wanted! I never asked for THIS! It's too big/small! The font is too plain/fancy! Arrrrgh! What's WRONG with you people? Don't you even know what you're DOING?!?

And on and on. At least my dad would take it from there, and he always backed me up, because he knew what the deal was and it happened like that almost every day. *sigh* I miss typesetting. It was good work and paid very well.

[Naaman]

I love it when people want to argue with me, saying "I don't understand."

I'm pretty sure there was a Dilbert cartoon which summed it up as "If I don't understand it, it must be easy!"

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Never, ever, ever let anyone say "Oh, just use your judgement."

I promise you they will hate your judgement. 100 percent of the time. No exeptions.

[symposes]

Im an electrician at a university, its a royal pain when i ask, Where on this wall do you want this receptacle, exactly?
Oh it doesnt matter.

Yea it does. If i wanted to be a total jerk, i could slide your pos cubicle desk thingy away from the wall, and drop the receptacle right behind it. then youd NEVER be able to use it... or even better, ill put it right under the ceiling grid so you have to stand on a chair to plug stuff in...

Best one. Customer had a 10x25 room, that was converting to an office with 3 cubicles. he wanted 8 of what we call, Quads. (a quad is four plugs. or 2 receptacles.) So he wanted... 32 plugs. (You would have to check, but i think the maximum amount of receptacles allowed by law is 6... or 3 quads on 1 circuit...)(and if its not NEC law, its our universities directive...)
Oh and there was only 2 circuits to work with in that room.

Oh and when we finished installing all these receptacles. His cubicles arrive... and guess what? We had to remove the receptacles, not because they were in the wrong spot. but because his cubicles completely covered the wall, AND had to be wired directly into the circuits because they had their own receptacles. WEEE...

The best part is, the customer and the job coordinator both had no idea these things had to be wired in.(that particular J.C. is another problem. they dont know how to do their job, and rely on our judgement. Thank gord they dont question us when we start telling them things...)