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I Fear for the Dog

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  • I Fear for the Dog

    I just had a lady call. She was looking to groom her own dog. She was watching her groomer do it and figured that if it looked easy, it must be easy. She knew what length she wanted to leave the hair at, and knew what blade the groomer had used, and this is what she brought with her to the call. She sounded like she knew what she was talking about and what she wanted.

    I could have sworn my optimism was dead and scattered to the winds, but I guess there is still a foothold in my mind.

    Lady: They said they used XX blade on the dog and gave it a 3/8" cut. So I'm looking for a XX blade.
    Me: Alright, so an XX blade in this brand is about $xx.xx. The item number is XX1234.
    Lady: This isn't what they used at all. It was sort of scoop shaped blade. They had a box of 8 or so on the counter...
    Me: (??) Scoop shaped... Ah, you mean a comb. They attach those to keep the blade away from the dog and cust at certain lengths. To use that you need to get ZZ blade, at $xx.xx, and the combs, at $xx.xx.
    Lady: Whats the difference between the blade and the combs? Why do I need both?
    Me: ... The blade does the cutting, the comb guides the hair and protects the dog.
    Lady: Ok... Where are the blade accesories?
    Me: The combs are the accesories...
    Lady: No... The thing... The big blue handle thing with the cord... That thing there (I am directed to a spot on the web. It is a clipper.) What is that thing and do I need one.
    Me: That is a clipper miss. It is the machine that does the actual work moving the blade back and forth.
    Lady: So... do I need one?
    Me: Do you have something like that already?
    Lady: No.
    Me:... Yes. Yes you do.
    Lady: Ok so I need the clippers and the comb, thats it?
    Me:... You need the clipper, comb, and blade.
    Lady: Why do I need all that? Doesn't the comb cut the hair? Do I attach both the comb and the blade?
    Me:...

    This went on for... 45 minutes after this point, the same questions. Until she eventually understood, I think, what each part was meant for. I can understand having questions as a first timer.... But "What is that handle thingy with the cord?"?? Seriously... You would think that much would have been obvious watching the groomer. Even if you don't know the terminology, I would think the use is blatantly obvious.

    I reiterate: I fear for that woman's dog. If it's really a dog. At this point, for all I know, it might be a really big gerbil the way she is having trouble understanding definitions.

  • #2
    I... bu... she... and... the dog... BUH?



    Has this woman never had her own hair cut? How can...

    I give up.
    I suspect that... inside every adult (sometimes not very far inside) is a bratty kid who wants everything his own way.
    - Bill Watterson

    My co-workers: They're there when they need me.
    - IPF

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    • #3
      There, there, HawaiianShirts...deep breaths...you'll be OK...
      I don't go in for ancient wisdom
      I don't believe just 'cause ideas are tenacious
      It means that they're worthy - Tim Minchin, "White Wine in the Sun"

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      • #4
        Oh me, oh my!
        I don't comb my hair often, but now that I've found out that combs cut hair? I fear for my hair's length...

        People this dumb shouldn't have a dog.
        Pretend there's something here that sounds insightful, but is really just some pseudo-intellectual bull.

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        • #5
          Quoth Skrae View Post
          Oh me, oh my!
          I don't comb my hair often, but now that I've found out that combs cut hair? I fear for my hair's length...

          People this dumb shouldn't have a dog.
          Oh my god I combed my hair after my shower today!!! <Runs to mirror> phew it's still there. Guess my comb needs to be sharpened...
          I don't go in for ancient wisdom
          I don't believe just 'cause ideas are tenacious
          It means that they're worthy - Tim Minchin, "White Wine in the Sun"

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          • #6
            Quoth Skrae View Post
            People this dumb shouldn't have a dog.
            shouldn't have anything alive. No dogs, cats, birds, rodents, plants, children, lizards, snakes, mold, fungus...

            Maybe a pet rock.... but she'd probably break it and lose half.
            Everything sucks. I must be living in a vacuum.

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