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I'm a pizza guy in a small rural community. I've been delivering pies for a little over 5 years now so I've had share of prank orders. I don't get very pissed about them anymore but the one I got last night really set me off.
Its 15 till closing time and we're well on our way to going home on time. I've already cashed out my delivery wallet and made a nice 92 bucks for the night so I'm happy. Of course the phone rings.
This young sounding girl says she wants it delivered and says she just wants one large cheese pie. Something about her sets off the prank alarm in my head. I just finish taking down her address, name, and phone number. I get off the phone and tell the boss man I'm gonna call it back and see if its legit. (Why we don't have a caller-id is another rant all-together) This guy has a mind like a trap so he recognized the name and address and says they've ordered before. He tells me I can go ahead and pay for it and take it on my way home so we could all leave a little quicker. Cool!
So I cook it up and take off. I find the place easy, thankfully they actually posted their address on the side of their house. I peck on their door and got their little dogs barking, no one answers. Peck again...still nothing. *sigh* I walk back to my car to get my phone. I call the number, no answer but the voicemail confirms the last name on my ticket. I call again, again no answer. *grr*
I know I'm at the right place so climb back up their porch and give their door a nice 'police' knock. This gets the little dogs going good and finally I hear someone coming. This middle-aged lady who looks like she just woke up from the best sleep of her life opens the door.
She said she hadn't ordered (fantastic!) but it may have been her son. She comes back and said he didn't order either and that I must have the wrong house. I show her the ticket, she says its her address and her phone number. I had to explain that someone who knew her cell number must have thought it'd be real funny to prank a pizza to her house. I apologized my heart out for bothering them so late at night and waking them up and stuff.
On my way back to the store I call boss man to give him the bad news and tell him not to finish making the deposits out cause I want my money back. I get back and we get our cash straight and I'm about to leave when the phone rings. I got it!
Her: I ordered a pizza and it hasnt showed up.
Its the same young girl who called the order in! Payback time!
Me: I called the number you gave me after you placed your order because I thought it was a prank......no one answered so I didn't leave out with your order.
Her: Well I turned my phone off after I called. I still want it!
Me: Well I had made your pizza so its ready to go. (boss man's over there laughing as he's eating a slice of it) Its late at night so I just want you to understand I gotta make sure this is not a prank.
Her: well its not!
I check with her to make sure I had the right address and tell her:
Me: Here's what I'm gonna do. After I hang up I'm gonna call you right back and you just say 'hey bring my pizza' and I'll bring it up there.
Her: Umm ok. But let me give you my home number cause my cell phone is about dead.
Right...
Dumb bitch gives me her real number. I hang up and call her real number. Of course its her again so I tell her I'll be there in a minute. I hang up again, put her real number in my pocket, tell boss man I'll see him later, and go home.
Now I had originally just planned to stop by a payphone and call to cuss this bitch out real good. But the longer I thought about it, the better my plan developed. I wait until about 2:30 in the morning before I go to the gas station just down the street and use their payphone to call her back.
I have to let the phone ring probably 15 times before someone wakes up and answers it.
Woman: hello?
Crap not the same voice as before, its the bitch's mom.
Me in my best cop voice: Ma'am this is Detective Mitchell from the ******* County Police Department.
Woman, a little more awake now: Yes can I help you?
She sounds like a responsible adult.
Me: At 11:46 earlier this evening a call was placed to Pizza ***** from your number and an order was made. Did you make that phone call?
Woman: No I didn..
Me, interrupting: Is there anyone else living with you?
Woman: Only my husband and daughter.
Ah! a daughter!
Me: Ma'am how old is your daughter?
Woman: She's 17, but..
I interrupt her again: I'm sorry Ma'am but it is very important that I find out who exactly placed that call this evening. Will you put your daughter on the phone.
Woman: I want to know what this is all about.
Me: I'm sorry but the explanations will have to wait. The person who placed the call was described as a young woman so I need to speak with your daughter now.
Woman: just a second.
I should have went into law enforcement.
Few moments later I hear her whispering to her daughter that theres a cop on the phone. Mom sounds a little panicked now.
Girl gets on the phone: Hello? (yup its her)
Me: This is Detective Mitchell of the **** County PD, who am I speaking with?
Girl: (we'll call her Anna)
Me: Your full name.
She tells me and I mumble like I writing it down.
Me: Anna, you called in a prank order to Pizza ****** earlier this evening didnt you?
Anna: No I...
Me: Don't lie to me Anna, we have already looked at the phone records. We know the call came from this number. Did you or didn't you?
Anna, squeamishly: yes
Me: Thank you Anna, will you put your mom back on the phone now.
Woman very panicked now: Will you just please tell me what this is all about.
Me: Heres the situation Ma'am. Your daughter called in a prank order to Pizza ***** to be delivered to 505 ***** Avenue.
Woman asking her daughter: **** Ave. Isnt that where 'Jake' lives?
Me: You know Mrs. **** and her family?
Woman: Yes my daughter was dating her son up until last week.
Me: According to Mrs. **** she heard a couple of knocks on her door. Then several louder bangs on the door. Mrs. **** wasn't expecting anyone in the middle of the night so she thought someone was trying to break in. Ma'am......Mrs. ******* shot that pizza boy 3 times in the chest. He died before they got him to the hospital.
I can tell this woman is on the verge of really freaking out.
Woman: OMG! This can't be real.
Me: Its very real Ma'am. I promise, if you give your full cooperation, we can make things go much easier for you and your family.
Woman, now heavily crying: what do you need me to do?
Me: We have alot of questions we need to ask your daughter. Now we can either send a patrol car to your house right now to bring her in or you can bring her to the justice center yourself. Its your call.
She takes a couple moments to collect herself and tells me they will be there as soon as they can. I tell her if they're not there in an hour we will send patrols out looking for them. She assures me they're on the way.
I go back home laughing my evil little ass off!!
Its 15 till closing time and we're well on our way to going home on time. I've already cashed out my delivery wallet and made a nice 92 bucks for the night so I'm happy. Of course the phone rings.
This young sounding girl says she wants it delivered and says she just wants one large cheese pie. Something about her sets off the prank alarm in my head. I just finish taking down her address, name, and phone number. I get off the phone and tell the boss man I'm gonna call it back and see if its legit. (Why we don't have a caller-id is another rant all-together) This guy has a mind like a trap so he recognized the name and address and says they've ordered before. He tells me I can go ahead and pay for it and take it on my way home so we could all leave a little quicker. Cool!
So I cook it up and take off. I find the place easy, thankfully they actually posted their address on the side of their house. I peck on their door and got their little dogs barking, no one answers. Peck again...still nothing. *sigh* I walk back to my car to get my phone. I call the number, no answer but the voicemail confirms the last name on my ticket. I call again, again no answer. *grr*
I know I'm at the right place so climb back up their porch and give their door a nice 'police' knock. This gets the little dogs going good and finally I hear someone coming. This middle-aged lady who looks like she just woke up from the best sleep of her life opens the door.
She said she hadn't ordered (fantastic!) but it may have been her son. She comes back and said he didn't order either and that I must have the wrong house. I show her the ticket, she says its her address and her phone number. I had to explain that someone who knew her cell number must have thought it'd be real funny to prank a pizza to her house. I apologized my heart out for bothering them so late at night and waking them up and stuff.
On my way back to the store I call boss man to give him the bad news and tell him not to finish making the deposits out cause I want my money back. I get back and we get our cash straight and I'm about to leave when the phone rings. I got it!
Her: I ordered a pizza and it hasnt showed up.
Its the same young girl who called the order in! Payback time!
Me: I called the number you gave me after you placed your order because I thought it was a prank......no one answered so I didn't leave out with your order.
Her: Well I turned my phone off after I called. I still want it!
Me: Well I had made your pizza so its ready to go. (boss man's over there laughing as he's eating a slice of it) Its late at night so I just want you to understand I gotta make sure this is not a prank.
Her: well its not!
I check with her to make sure I had the right address and tell her:
Me: Here's what I'm gonna do. After I hang up I'm gonna call you right back and you just say 'hey bring my pizza' and I'll bring it up there.
Her: Umm ok. But let me give you my home number cause my cell phone is about dead.
Right...
Dumb bitch gives me her real number. I hang up and call her real number. Of course its her again so I tell her I'll be there in a minute. I hang up again, put her real number in my pocket, tell boss man I'll see him later, and go home.
Now I had originally just planned to stop by a payphone and call to cuss this bitch out real good. But the longer I thought about it, the better my plan developed. I wait until about 2:30 in the morning before I go to the gas station just down the street and use their payphone to call her back.
I have to let the phone ring probably 15 times before someone wakes up and answers it.
Woman: hello?
Crap not the same voice as before, its the bitch's mom.
Me in my best cop voice: Ma'am this is Detective Mitchell from the ******* County Police Department.
Woman, a little more awake now: Yes can I help you?
She sounds like a responsible adult.
Me: At 11:46 earlier this evening a call was placed to Pizza ***** from your number and an order was made. Did you make that phone call?
Woman: No I didn..
Me, interrupting: Is there anyone else living with you?
Woman: Only my husband and daughter.
Ah! a daughter!
Me: Ma'am how old is your daughter?
Woman: She's 17, but..
I interrupt her again: I'm sorry Ma'am but it is very important that I find out who exactly placed that call this evening. Will you put your daughter on the phone.
Woman: I want to know what this is all about.
Me: I'm sorry but the explanations will have to wait. The person who placed the call was described as a young woman so I need to speak with your daughter now.
Woman: just a second.
I should have went into law enforcement.
Few moments later I hear her whispering to her daughter that theres a cop on the phone. Mom sounds a little panicked now.
Girl gets on the phone: Hello? (yup its her)
Me: This is Detective Mitchell of the **** County PD, who am I speaking with?
Girl: (we'll call her Anna)
Me: Your full name.
She tells me and I mumble like I writing it down.
Me: Anna, you called in a prank order to Pizza ****** earlier this evening didnt you?
Anna: No I...
Me: Don't lie to me Anna, we have already looked at the phone records. We know the call came from this number. Did you or didn't you?
Anna, squeamishly: yes
Me: Thank you Anna, will you put your mom back on the phone now.
Woman very panicked now: Will you just please tell me what this is all about.
Me: Heres the situation Ma'am. Your daughter called in a prank order to Pizza ***** to be delivered to 505 ***** Avenue.
Woman asking her daughter: **** Ave. Isnt that where 'Jake' lives?
Me: You know Mrs. **** and her family?
Woman: Yes my daughter was dating her son up until last week.
Me: According to Mrs. **** she heard a couple of knocks on her door. Then several louder bangs on the door. Mrs. **** wasn't expecting anyone in the middle of the night so she thought someone was trying to break in. Ma'am......Mrs. ******* shot that pizza boy 3 times in the chest. He died before they got him to the hospital.
I can tell this woman is on the verge of really freaking out.
Woman: OMG! This can't be real.
Me: Its very real Ma'am. I promise, if you give your full cooperation, we can make things go much easier for you and your family.
Woman, now heavily crying: what do you need me to do?
Me: We have alot of questions we need to ask your daughter. Now we can either send a patrol car to your house right now to bring her in or you can bring her to the justice center yourself. Its your call.
She takes a couple moments to collect herself and tells me they will be there as soon as they can. I tell her if they're not there in an hour we will send patrols out looking for them. She assures me they're on the way.
I go back home laughing my evil little ass off!!
And that, young lady, is why prank calling is bad, pissed off employees may decide to get revenge! 
Yeah, it was risky, but I couldn't stop laughing.
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