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The Ballad of Princess-Snake

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  • The Ballad of Princess-Snake

    Parody of The Ballad of Sweeney Todd (Prologue)

    Attend the tale of Princess-Snake
    Her customers really take the cake
    She served the ladies and gentlemen
    Who verbally abused her again and again
    She tolerated what few could take
    Did Princess-Snake, The Grocer Girl Suck Street

    She kept the cleanest shop around
    'Til the customers did come to town
    They tore up the shelves, but never confess
    To the horrible
    And terrible mess, for Princess
    For Princess-Snake, The Grocer Girl of Suck Street

    Don't you give up now, Princess,
    Hold your chin up high!
    Punish those who dare break your stride!

    Her customers thought that she was merely there
    As their personal servant for everywhere
    Within the store, and argue with her
    About the price of their cold "cure"
    In silent fury, did they make
    Our Princess-Snake, The Grocer Girl of Suck Street

    Scamming her for money, they tried
    Haggle the ham's price down, they tried
    Though she might act all sweet and kind
    She's screaming loud inside of her mind
    Princess loathes and Princess hates
    The sucky customers, so much she hates
    Princess is mad, Princess will cry
    Princess dreads those who refuse to read "Closed" signs
    Princess! Princess! Princess! Princess!
    Princess!

    Attend the tale of Princess-Snake!
    (Attend the tale of Princess Snake!)
    And her adventures of the shoplifted steak!
    (And her adventures of the shoplifted steak!0
    The retail god that she must serve
    Is giving her more headaches than she deserves. To Princess
    To Princess-Snake. The Grocer Girl of Suck Street.
    "But I don't want to be among mad people."
    You can't help that. We're all mad here. Every fucking one of us.

  • #2
    haha magnificent! now you just need a way of pulling a sweeny todd on people like the steak shoplifter. I have more than a few bladed instruments if you need to borrow some

    great job with the parody there, princess!
    Your true character is who you are when no one is looking.
    --Unknown

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    • #3
      That was bloody brilliant! XD

      There should really be a "Greatest Hits Of CS" out with all these parody songs on.
      People who don't like cats were probably mice in an earlier life.
      My DeviantArt.

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      • #4
        Quoth Lace Neil Singer View Post
        That was bloody brilliant! XD

        There should really be a "Greatest Hits Of CS" out with all these parody songs on.
        I'd buy that.
        Ridiculous 2009 Predictions: Evil Queen will beat Martha Stewart to death with a muffin pan. All hail Evil Queen! (Some things don't need elaboration.....) -- Jester

        Ridiculous 2010 Predictions: Evil Queen, after escaping prison for last years prediction, goes out and waffle irons Rachel Ray to death. -- SG15Z

        Ridiculous 2011 Prediction: Evil Queen will beat Gordon Ramsay over the head with a cast-iron skillet. -- FireHeart

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        • #5
          Quoth karath View Post
          haha magnificent! now you just need a way of pulling a sweeny todd on people like the steak shoplifter. I have more than a few bladed instruments if you need to borrow some
          But what to do with the bodies? We don't exactly have a meat grinder handy.
          "But I don't want to be among mad people."
          You can't help that. We're all mad here. Every fucking one of us.

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          • #6
            Quoth Princess-Snake View Post
            But what to do with the bodies? We don't exactly have a meat grinder handy.
            i've got some hotel beds we could hide them under

            though on a more serious note... this could be a solution to the nations energy crisis... not only will these idiots not be needed more fuel or power but we could burn the bodies to produce power

            i call it A Modest Proposal... wait, that title has already been used... damn
            If you wish to find meaning, listen to the music not the song

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