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Stupid customer of the decade award

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  • Stupid customer of the decade award

    I work for a furniture company. For one of our desks we make a really cool support called a “Printer Pedestal”. Basically, it is a large drawer without sides, so you can sit your printer on this pull out shelf, then when you need it, pull it out and use it. Here is the call from the customer:

    (fyi my customer is a dealer, who sells it to end users. These are people who’s entire lives are spent selling office furniture. They are trained professionals.)

    Customer: I am about to order one of your printer pedestals. I says that it is 18” wide. Is that an outside dimension or an inside dimension?

    Me: That is the outside dimension. Inside is 16”.

    Customer: Oh. My printer is 21” wide by 20” deep…….will that fit.

    Me: (smirk and swallow laughter) No, it has to be less than 16”, or it has to be custom.

    Customer: ok, can I get a quote for a custom?

    Me: sure. It is going to be 24” wide to have the internal clearance you need. I will get you a price.

    Customer: Oh, the price can not change, I have already told my customer how much this is going to cost.

    Me: well….I will get you the cost, and you can decide what to do. If the cost can not go up, then advise them to buy a smaller printer.

    Customer: ummmm….I already bought the printers for them.

    Me: And you did not look at the size?

    Customer: I did, but your cabinet said it was 18”, and so I assumed that was an internal size not external.

    Me: But…the printer is 21” wide, so even if it was 18” internal it would still not fit.

    Customer: …. Uuuhhhhh….

    Me: how about I get you that price.

    Customer: but the price can’t go up.

    Me: Close, but backwards. The cabinet is currently a standard 18” wide cabinet. You are requesting a custom 24” wide cabinet. The correct statement would be “the price can not stay the same”, or even “The price is going to go up”.

    Customer: But how am I supposed to make money?

    Me: A good start would be not telling the customer the final price until they have the final specification and quote. Well, I’m going to get that quote started.

    (I wanted to SCREAM “I would suggest selling blood, as furniture seems to be a little outside your grasp.”)

    (I also wanted to scream the classic line from Happy Gillmore when Adam Sandler is playing golf with Bob Barker “The Price Is WRONG Bitch.”)

  • #2
    *insert TPiR loser horns here*

    Bomp bomp a bomp....BWWWWOOOOMMMMPPPPPPP
    Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

    "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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    • #3
      "Customer: But how am I supposed to make money?"

      How flexible are your morals?
      "All I've ever learned from love was how to shoot somebody who out-drew ya"

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      • #4
        How's he supposed to make money? Well, if he takes his printer & squeezes the hell out of it then it might fit...lol.

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        • #5
          Quoth bob the goat View Post
          Customer: Oh, the price can not change, I have already told my customer how much this is going to cost.
          I have to deal with a few resellers who make promises to their customers and expect us to keep them. I honestly don't get why they think it's anyone's problem but their own.

          Quoth bob the goat View Post
          Customer: But how am I supposed to make money?
          "How you make money is up to you, not me. Your price to buy Y from us is $xxx. The price you decide to sell it at is entirely up to you."
          The best karma is letting a jerk bash himself senseless on the wall of your polite indifference.

          The stupid is strong with this one.

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          • #6
            Quoth bob the goat View Post
            Customer: But how am I supposed to make money?
            Have you thought about renting out some of that empty space between your ears? I hear storage facilities are really making good money these days.

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            • #7
              "I'm sorry sir, but you made your bed, now you're going to have to throw stones."
              "Ride the spiral to the end, it may just go where no one's been. Spiral out, keep going..." -Lateralus

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              • #8
                "Sell your brain to medical students, as you obviously aren't making much use of it."
                The High Priest is an Illusion!

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                • #9
                  How is HE supposed to make money? I don't know. But, just because he is stupid doesn't make it your problem.
                  "Always stand near the door." -- Doctor Who

                  Kuya's Kitchen -- Cooking, Cooking Gadgets, and Food Related Blather from a Transplanted Foodie

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                  • #10
                    Quoth ArcticChicken View Post
                    "Sell your brain to medical students, as you obviously aren't making much use of it."
                    I think he already has.
                    A PSA, if I may, as well as another.

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                    • #11
                      Just our luck though, this loser will probably try to SHOVE the printer in the pedestal & turn to the customer & say, "TA DA!" The customer will stare in horror as s/he notices that the printer no longer has several of its external features.
                      The universe is mostly empty space, and so is your job. ~Dilbert

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                      • #12
                        Quoth Phone Jockey View Post
                        Just our luck though, this loser will probably try to SHOVE the printer in the pedestal & turn to the customer & say, "TA DA!" The customer will stare in horror as s/he notices that the printer no longer has several of its external features.
                        Yup, and somehow this 'professional' customer will attempt to find a way to blame Bob.
                        "So, if you wanna put places like that outta business, just stop being so rock-chewingly stupid." ~ Raudf, 9/19/13

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                        • #13
                          Quoth bob the goat View Post
                          Customer: But how am I supposed to make money?

                          Me: A good start would be not telling the customer the final price until they have the final specification and quote.
                          Heh. My company gets these bright stars, too.

                          And we give them the same exact answer.

                          ^-.-^
                          Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden

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                          • #14
                            Quoth Phone Jockey View Post
                            Just our luck though, this loser will probably try to SHOVE the printer in the pedestal & turn to the customer & say, "TA DA!" The customer will stare in horror as s/he notices that the printer no longer has several of its external features.
                            Now that sounds like something I would picture Aunt Madea doing . . .
                            Human Resources - the adult version of "I'm telling Mom." - Agent Anthony "Tony" DiNozzo (NCIS)

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