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Fiiiiiiiire! (Bowm bowm bowm) Say WHAT?! [Long]
A doozy for the night... Now, some of you may know from a couple of previous posts, but for those who don't - I used to be a firefighter. I had to quit after only a year and a half to take on responsibilities of caring for my grandmother, but those 18 months were some of the most exciting, devastating, hilarious, and sobering days of my life. Here's a special story for your reading pleasure:
But It's Not Mine, Bay-bee!
My department's call area included a high school, which meant we had a lot of calls for teenagers thinking they were taking starring roles in the next Fast and the Furious film, and causing car wrecks, or just being plain stupid. This incident, however, stood out in my mind like no other.
It was a frigid, clear Texas night, and we got called out for a vehicle rollover, with one passenger caught under the car. We set out to roll, and I'm getting my gear on as we're in the cab deciding who grabs what extrication equipment. It wasn't needed, however, as we rolled up and found the police were already on scene and somehow had gotten a young girl out from under the car. Apparently only her hand was caught, though it was in very bad shape.
We get her bandaged as best we can, but she was slipping into shock, with no help from the weather and the fact she had chosen to wear the most inappropriate clothes for winter I'd ever seen. We get her bandaged up and into am EMS unit, and off she goes. (She turned out to be absolutely fine, though not until after some major surgery and skin grafting) Now, I got the story as such from one of the kids who was in the suburban. Apparently, they had been heading westbound on a two lane highway, and had forgotten something at one of their houses. So, instead of using one of the two dozen crossovers that are spaced no more than half a mile apart from each other, connecting the eastbound and westbound lanes, this genius decides to go through the grass median. Which is a ditch. About 50 feet wide. At 60 miles per hour. So they flipped, and the young girl's hand had been caught between the pavement and the car.
Pretty stupid. Anyway, after accidents like this, we usually wait around for a wrecker to come around and pull the vehicles back onto all four tires, and load it up, before we leave. Now, usually, when a wrecker pulls one of these flipped vehicles over, there's a substantial amount of debris from inside the car that falls out onto the road. I don't care how clean you think your vehicle is, just flip it once, and you'll know how much stuff there is flying around in a car.
So we are waiting as the gentleman from the wrecker company is hooking his cables to the wrecked suburban... and he pulls it onto it's four tires, and we see a fair amount of debris fall out. So, myself, 4 other firefighters, and 3 Sherriff's Department deputies are all moving forward to get this debris and put it back in the car.
Now let me set this scene: Floodlights from two firetrucks are highlighting this debris pile. Some deputies and firefighters are using flashlights to light it up. There's even a light from a camera the local news is using to fill out that night's broadcast. It's in the middle of one lane of the highway, with the other lane chock full of bumper to bumper traffic trying to get by all the emergency vehicles. We're all crowded around, leaning down and picking up CDs, DVDs, papers, clothes, trash, and God knows what else, when one of the deputies picks up a large shirt, and a box falls out from under it onto the pavement, a hot spotlight directly illuminating the boldfaced type and bright yellow lettering proclaiming that the contents of this box included one "DELUXE SWEDISH PENIS ENLARGER!!!!: NEVER fail to rise to the occassion again!"
Everyone. Froze. Now imagine, if you can, a circle of emergency and law enforcement workers, all tough guys who have been known to be able to deal with ANYTHING on the job - and like a drop of oil falling into a pan of soapy water, the circle slowly widened, as everyone stepped back, all dead set against handling this particular object. Also imagine if you can, dear reader, the line of traffic trying to drive by the accident scene, now coming to a dead stop as this teenager's precious cargo is jarringly unveiled along with his shame amidst a sea of strangers. Imagine as well, if you can, that as this box fell to the ground, a pump handle and a section of thin plastic tubing worked their way loose from the top of this box, staring bright eyed and bushy tailed at the world around them, like a shameless kid shedding their diaper to run naked, helter skelter through the grocery store, completely unawares of the inappropriateness of their burlesque show.
And lastly, dear reader, imagine if you will, the lone solitary high school teenager, walking from the side of the crowd, into the spotlights of emergency vehicles, firefighters, and a news camera, head hung in shame as the rubber necking civilians hoot and holler as though they were witnessing the debauchering of equestrian studies in the back alley of a bar in Tijuana... stooping down to retrieve what he is hoarsely insisting is the supposed "joke gift" his friends had gotten for him for his next day induction into the United States Navy.
Some days, it's a real pleasure to help the general public.
But It's Not Mine, Bay-bee!
My department's call area included a high school, which meant we had a lot of calls for teenagers thinking they were taking starring roles in the next Fast and the Furious film, and causing car wrecks, or just being plain stupid. This incident, however, stood out in my mind like no other.
It was a frigid, clear Texas night, and we got called out for a vehicle rollover, with one passenger caught under the car. We set out to roll, and I'm getting my gear on as we're in the cab deciding who grabs what extrication equipment. It wasn't needed, however, as we rolled up and found the police were already on scene and somehow had gotten a young girl out from under the car. Apparently only her hand was caught, though it was in very bad shape.
We get her bandaged as best we can, but she was slipping into shock, with no help from the weather and the fact she had chosen to wear the most inappropriate clothes for winter I'd ever seen. We get her bandaged up and into am EMS unit, and off she goes. (She turned out to be absolutely fine, though not until after some major surgery and skin grafting) Now, I got the story as such from one of the kids who was in the suburban. Apparently, they had been heading westbound on a two lane highway, and had forgotten something at one of their houses. So, instead of using one of the two dozen crossovers that are spaced no more than half a mile apart from each other, connecting the eastbound and westbound lanes, this genius decides to go through the grass median. Which is a ditch. About 50 feet wide. At 60 miles per hour. So they flipped, and the young girl's hand had been caught between the pavement and the car.
Pretty stupid. Anyway, after accidents like this, we usually wait around for a wrecker to come around and pull the vehicles back onto all four tires, and load it up, before we leave. Now, usually, when a wrecker pulls one of these flipped vehicles over, there's a substantial amount of debris from inside the car that falls out onto the road. I don't care how clean you think your vehicle is, just flip it once, and you'll know how much stuff there is flying around in a car.
So we are waiting as the gentleman from the wrecker company is hooking his cables to the wrecked suburban... and he pulls it onto it's four tires, and we see a fair amount of debris fall out. So, myself, 4 other firefighters, and 3 Sherriff's Department deputies are all moving forward to get this debris and put it back in the car.
Now let me set this scene: Floodlights from two firetrucks are highlighting this debris pile. Some deputies and firefighters are using flashlights to light it up. There's even a light from a camera the local news is using to fill out that night's broadcast. It's in the middle of one lane of the highway, with the other lane chock full of bumper to bumper traffic trying to get by all the emergency vehicles. We're all crowded around, leaning down and picking up CDs, DVDs, papers, clothes, trash, and God knows what else, when one of the deputies picks up a large shirt, and a box falls out from under it onto the pavement, a hot spotlight directly illuminating the boldfaced type and bright yellow lettering proclaiming that the contents of this box included one "DELUXE SWEDISH PENIS ENLARGER!!!!: NEVER fail to rise to the occassion again!"
Everyone. Froze. Now imagine, if you can, a circle of emergency and law enforcement workers, all tough guys who have been known to be able to deal with ANYTHING on the job - and like a drop of oil falling into a pan of soapy water, the circle slowly widened, as everyone stepped back, all dead set against handling this particular object. Also imagine if you can, dear reader, the line of traffic trying to drive by the accident scene, now coming to a dead stop as this teenager's precious cargo is jarringly unveiled along with his shame amidst a sea of strangers. Imagine as well, if you can, that as this box fell to the ground, a pump handle and a section of thin plastic tubing worked their way loose from the top of this box, staring bright eyed and bushy tailed at the world around them, like a shameless kid shedding their diaper to run naked, helter skelter through the grocery store, completely unawares of the inappropriateness of their burlesque show.
And lastly, dear reader, imagine if you will, the lone solitary high school teenager, walking from the side of the crowd, into the spotlights of emergency vehicles, firefighters, and a news camera, head hung in shame as the rubber necking civilians hoot and holler as though they were witnessing the debauchering of equestrian studies in the back alley of a bar in Tijuana... stooping down to retrieve what he is hoarsely insisting is the supposed "joke gift" his friends had gotten for him for his next day induction into the United States Navy.
Some days, it's a real pleasure to help the general public.
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