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  • #1

    Pizza Sizes

    I have a cousin who used to work in a pizza place, and here are a couple of his stories:

    Cuz=Cousin
    SC=The Usual

    Pizza Is Important
    SC is in the store waiting for his pizza on a very busy Saturday night. Cuz has told him it will be 15 minutes. After about 10 minutes, the following ensues:
    SC: How much longer is this going to take?
    Cuz: I'd say maybe five more minutes.
    SC: Why?
    Cuz: Well, you ordered about 10 minutes ago, and we're running about 15 minutes for all orders right now, so that leaves about five minutes.
    SC: I can't wait that long!
    Cuz: I'm sorry, but your pizza is in the oven right now, so all we can really do is allow it to finish cooking.
    SC: This is outrageous! (Proceeds to have a bit whiny fit in the lobby full of other customers.)
    Cuz: SIR!!! If this pizza means THIS MUCH to you in your life right now, then I am TRULY sorry!!!
    All the other customers got the joke and started applauding because they were pretty sick of the guy too.

    The Size Of A Pizza
    This one happened over the phone.
    SC: Yes, I'd like to know what size pizzas you have.
    (This place didn't go by S, M, L - instead it was by inches.)
    Cuz: We have a 14-inch, a 16-inch, and an 18-inch.
    SC: Oh, OK. How big is your 16-inch?
    Cuz: (stifles laughter) I can find out for you, please hold.
    (Puts phone on hold and has a nice big laugh with all his co-workers.)
    Cuz: (back on phone) Sir? My manager and I have successfully determined that a 16-inch pizza is approximately 16 inches.
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Quoth csever01 View Post
    My manager and I have successfully determined that a 16-inch pizza is approximately 16 inches.
    Did you pull out a ruler and check?
    "I call murder on that!"

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    • #3
      Quoth csever01
      SC: Oh, OK. How big is your 16-inch?
      Maybe he wanted it converted into centimeters?
      "Oh, by the way..." All of my HATE

      Ou kata nomon = Not according to the accepted norm

      Comment

      • #4
        Quoth Juwl View Post
        Did you pull out a ruler and check?
        No, he pulled something else out and checked



        Sorry, just could not resist.
        SC Motto "I am more important than you and others and don't you ever forget it"

        Comment

        • #5
          Quoth StevieJD View Post
          No, he pulled something else out and checked



          Sorry, just could not resist.

          get your head out of the gutter

          Comment

          • #6
            Quoth Cyphr View Post

            get your head out of the gutter
            Yeah! Get yer head outta' the gutter!

            ...

            Yer blockin' my light!
            hea·then [hee-thuhn] noun
            1. an unconverted individual that does not acknowledge the God of the Bible.
            2. an irreligious, uncultured, or uncivilized person.
            3. the children of NotSoInnocent.

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            • #7
              Quoth StevieJD View Post
              No, he pulled something else out and checked



              Sorry, just could not resist.
              And he knows it's about 16 inches because the pizza was slightly smaller...

              Comment

              • #8
                Thirty+ years ago, when I was, uhm, much younger than I am today, a gf and I were going to go out for pizza one night. We had been talking to a couple of guys just before we left. They wanted to know where we were going. We just replied that we were going for a 9" special (which meant in our small community, that we were going to the pizza place and having a 9" pizza with everything). One of the guys was from out-of-town and didn't know our local lingo. He just smiled and said in a low voice "I may not have 9" but I can guarantee you I'm special." We had a good laugh.

                He must have been kinda special, if you think about it. I still remember that conversation.

                Comment

                • #9
                  Quoth edible_hat View Post
                  And he knows it's about 16 inches because the pizza was slightly smaller...
                  Hope it wasn't a Vegetarian pizza, because people who order one of those definitely don't want any "meat" on it
                  Any fool can piss on the floor. It takes a talented SC to shit on the ceiling.

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Quoth wolfie View Post
                    Hope it wasn't a Vegetarian pizza, because people who order one of those definitely don't want any "meat" on it
                    Nice one. I was going to say something like that.
                    Under The Moon Paranormal Research
                    San Joaquin Valley Paranormal Research

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Quoth csever01 View Post
                      The Size Of A Pizza
                      This one happened over the phone.
                      SC: Yes, I'd like to know what size pizzas you have.
                      (This place didn't go by S, M, L - instead it was by inches.)
                      Cuz: We have a 14-inch, a 16-inch, and an 18-inch.
                      SC: Oh, OK. How big is your 16-inch?
                      Cuz: (stifles laughter) I can find out for you, please hold.
                      (Puts phone on hold and has a nice big laugh with all his co-workers.)
                      Cuz: (back on phone) Sir? My manager and I have successfully determined that a 16-inch pizza is approximately 16 inches.
                      Cuz should have told him it was about 201 square inches.
                      "I don't have to be petty. The Universe does that for me."

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Quoth wolfie View Post
                        Hope it wasn't a Vegetarian pizza, because people who order one of those definitely don't want any "meat" on it
                        *dives headfirst right into gutter

                        That might not be cheese on it either.
                        Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

                        "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          When I go to the pizza places, I always figure on a 20-minute wait unless they specify that it's going to be different. I never thought about it, but that seems like a reasonable amount of time to finish any orders ahead of mine and get mine ready, too.

                          The only time I ever got mad over a pizza was the time that my parents called an order in to the local Pizza Hut. They lived about 12 miles outside of town. They sent me to pick it up and run some other errands while I was in town. I made the pizza pick up the last thing on the list so I could head straight home with it before it got cold. I arrived at Pizza Hut about 45 minutes later. They said it wasn't ready yet. I waited probably about 5-10 minutes before they finally let me know that the order hadn't even been started yet. So, I just told them to cancel it if it wasn't even started. I didn't get mad or make a scene. I just simply told them that I wasn't willing to wait another 20 minutes on a pizza that should have been started almost an hour before. So, I went elsewhere to get the family dinner. I got home, and told my parents what happened. Dad was furious, and he called to gripe them out and got the number for their complaint line. They'd offered to make amends, but he refused. He then called the complaint line. They sent an apology from the main office along with a gift certificate for a free pizza of similar value. We ended up using it at a Pizza Hut in a neighboring town because Dad refused to go back to that one.

                          There was one other time in college when I went with a bunch of friends to the local Pizza Hut. The group had ordered a big pizza. I really wanted some cheese sticks, too, so I offered to spring for them. The pizza came out, and everyone ate. No cheese sticks ever came out. I asked the waitress about them after a while. She went to check, and returned to tell me the cheese stick order had gotten lost. I didn't get mad or make a scene over it. I just told her that I didn't want cheese sticks after all. The group paid and left. Since a tip was left on behalf of the group, I didn't add anything to it as I'd have done had I gotten my cheese sticks. I realize it wasn't necessarily the waitress' fault, but I figured she was already getting a tip from the group as a whole. That may not have been the best attitude, but I felt a little burned, too.
                          The Borg wouldn't know fun if they assimilated an amusement park. -- B'Elanna Torres, Star Trek: Voyager

                          Math! Math, my dear boy, is but the lesbian sister of Biology. -- Peter Griffin, Family Guy

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            Only once have I gone to collect a pizza after ordering it (and being told 15 minutes or whatever) and they haven't even made it yet. I just wish they had been honest and said they forgot to make it, it wasn't even busy. I didn't complain but i was using a voucher so did OK.

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              Quoth Ironclad Alibi View Post
                              Cuz should have told him it was about 201 square inches.
                              I guess that'd be pizza pi.
                              "I can tell her you're all tied up in the projection room." Sunset Boulevard.

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