The Nan Nan Lady

[Danjo]

I work as a bagger/cashier at a local grocery store. During my first couple of months there I formed a theory that in my fifth year I’m ready to call fact and claim my Nobel Prize. There is a sort of ion field around my store that drops the IQ of anyone who enters it. I believe there’s a microchip or something in our nametags that keeps us immune. This is both a blessing and a curse for although our brains are working normally we are not blissfully ignorant of our surroundings. It’s the only way I can explain some of the things I’ve had to deal with. And it all started with the Nan Nan Lady.

I’m bagging this elderly woman’s food when she grabs me by the arm and say, “Put my bananas in a separate bag.” Only it comes out “Puh ma nan nans inna sprêt bag.” Luckily I speak crazy ass old person and said “Yes ma’am,” I then put her bananas up on the small raised area where people write their checks to keep it from getting squished by her other groceries coming down the belt.

Job well done you say…WRONG!

Old Lady: “Wuh’s ma nan nans!”
Me: Your bananas? They’re right there. (I point to bananas sitting inches away from her face.)
Old Lady: You cushing my nan nans!

She then proceeds to tear through her shopping cart, now mostly filled with groceries, pulling crap out of bags, dumping her stuff on the floor, all the while I’m trying to get her to notice the bag of bananas sitting right there.

Old Lady: Wuh’s ma nan nans!?
Me: They’re…
Old Lady: Wuh’s Ma Nan Nans!?
Me: …right…
Old Lady: WUH’S MA NAN NANS!?
Me: …here.

It took me picking them up and waving them in front of her face for her to finally stop destroying her other groceries. Now you’d be surprised how much a simple apology can do to help someone forget you acting like jackass. I know I’d be surprise if it ever happened. Nan nan lady snatched the bananas out of my hand grabbed up her now disheveled groceries and stormed out.

The cashier was giving me a WTF look and the customer next in line was laughing so hard he could barely stand. That was my first truly crazy ass customer. Nowhere near my last unfortunately.

[JessEm]

Wow. She sure was a few bananas short of a fruit bowl. <ducks>

[mattm04]

At my store if a bagger accidentally drops something breakable, damages an item (esp. produce) while bagging we will gladly replace it. Hey accidents happen. I would assume most stores do the same thing.

[Hello Kitty]

Luckily I speak crazy ass old person

Can you get a degree in that? Where do I sign up?

[NightWatch]

Can you get a degree in that? Where do I sign up?

Actually yes. Most law enforcement agencies provide a certification for dealing with the crazies... I hear it's really cool cuz they have some virtual reality type dealio that shows you exactly what it's like to schizophrenic, for example...

[fish3k1]

they have some virtual reality type dealio that shows you exactly what it's like to schizophrenic, for example...

Man, that'd be awesome... it'd make role-playing a character with derangement a lot easier (yes, I am a huge geek) :P

On topic though, I really really hate it when someone continues acting like an asshat after you've proven they were in the wrong. Like Danjo says, a little apology can go a long way.

[marasbaras]

At my store if a bagger accidentally drops something breakable, damages an item (esp. produce) while bagging we will gladly replace it. Hey accidents happen. I would assume most stores do the same thing.

It's happened at every store I've shopped in where something's been dropped or squished. Heck, a couple times it was MY fault and the cashier replace the item anyway.

I do remember once where I had to argue with a cashier just slightly ... she'd put my bread at the bottom of the bag and some soup (some being about a dozen large cans) on top of it. Bzzzt. Sorry, I'm buying the expensive bread 'cause I love it. It's high quality. It's not 59 cents for a giant loaf. No squishy my favorite bread!

What saved her from me saying "let me talk to your manager"? The teenage bagger girl who arrived too late to bag because she was busy on other lanes (store was PACKED). She said "um, yeah, we really ought to replace that bread for him". Score one for the kids there.

I'm puzzled when a cashier will apologize for dropping an item and then having a runner get a replacement. It's not like I'm out anything. Apologize to the store owner or something because you cost them a little profit.

Frankly, I kinda like the sound of breaking glass.

[Aramika]

I’m bagging this elderly woman’s food when she grabs me by the arm and say, “Put my bananas in a separate bag.” Only it comes out “Puh ma nan nans inna sprêt bag.” Luckily I speak crazy ass old person and said “Yes ma’am,”

I need to learn how to speak that at my grocery store!


and to customers suck from another grocery store slave

[Imogene]

Heck, a couple times it was MY fault and the cashier replace the item anyway.

Just after I got my driver's license back, I went to the store to grab a case of soda... and didn't grab a cart to put it in... and got as far as the check out lane when the whole thing ripped and went crashing to the ground. Soda went everywhere! I tried to grab up as many of the cans as I could and stuff them back into the cardboard packing, then went to the register, ready to pay for my smashed sodas. (a little sad, admittedly...) Cashier looked at me and said she'd hold the busted ones for me while I went to grab another case. So, I went and grabbed another, careful to hold it from underneath this time, and made it back to the checkout, paid, and made it out into the parking lot, and almost to my car before the box busted again. I said 'Screw it', packed them back up and stuck them in the trunk and went home.

[Becks]

Frankly, I kinda like the sound of breaking glass.

Me, too.

So satisfying.

[chainedbarista]

i'm also guilty of damaging my own goods and in a very stupid way (embarrassing, too). i wanted to keep from using too many bags, so i opted to carry a bowl of fruit, rather than bag it along with my other groceries.

i overestimated my ability to carry so much, so the fruitbowl became a parking lot casualty...one of the baggers was out collecting carts and saw it happen. he replaced the fruitbowl even though i told him it was completely my fault for not bagging it instead of carrying it.

i was grateful and thanked him, but man, i definitely didn't brain but dumbed instead.

[bainsidhe]

Wow, I'm actually kind of surprised by some of the comments here. A number of you seem pleasantly surprised when a store offers to replace something that you (as a customer) damaged or broke. Guess my current p/t job has sucked the humanity out of me.

So many customers come through my line with mangled bread, crushed produce, broken glass, ripped meat (the saran packaging covering the top) etc, that you KNOW they are themselves responsible for. They just hand it over saying "I don't want this" without any mention of the damage they did to the merchandise. I once had a woman eat a fourth of a big tub of raisins between her and her kids and then demand a new one because "the lid didn't fit right" and was therefore defective. Manager let her do it (we are big-box retail after all, just tell us where and how fast you want us to jump).

I swear, if you at least act embarressed about your error or hell, offer to pay (let me dream okay), I'll be more than happy to let you switch something out. Mistakes happen. But don't just assume the store will always absorb the cost of you being an idiot. I mean, we will. Store policy and all. But I'd still rather you not assume. ~vent over, thanks for watching~

[ArcticChicken]

The one that's always surprised me is how grateful people get when I notice there merchandise is damaged. What kind of person do you take me for, if you think I wouldn't tell you if your potatoes are leaking? Of course, if you're awful to me, I'll probably let you figure it out on your own.

Also, does anyone know why dented cans are evil? Swelling cans I understand, but why do people object to dented ones?

[repsac]

OT but worth the story. Years ago I remember hearing Jerry Clower tell this story about "nanners" (Bananas) and thought of it the moment I read the OP's story.

At the time, Jerry was in the military (ww2 IIRC) and in the process of being sent to the ship to go to his theater of war in France. Well, apparently it was the first time he'd ever seen a banana, being a simple old country boy, and this is what came about.

Sitting there in the train packed full of soldiers, a lady comes down the aisle with a food cart. Looking over Jerry sees this odd yellow thing that he's never seen before. Asking the lady, she says it's a "banana." Marcel, Jerry's friend looks to him and asks simply what a "Banana" is, to which Jerry says he doesn't know. (having never had one). The lady then sells each of them one, and they look about how to eat it. Figuring out to peel it they sit there waiting. Well about the time Marcel takes a big bite out of the banana, the train goes into a long tunnel. A few seconds later, Marcel says quietly "Jerry, you try your nanna yet?" Jerry answers softly "No, why?" Marcel responded "Don't! I took a bite of mine and went slap blind!"

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

I speak crazy ass old person

So do I. Kinda.

"Gi-bluuurrrrghgggghhhhhh....*drool....were da dipinds? Were da madamooshul? Don crush muh nan nans. Pud in sprate bag."