Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Proof of Illiteracy

Collapse
This topic is closed.
X
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Proof of Illiteracy

    So I am sitting in my computer labs, hawkishly watching my domain. I see this girl get up from her chair to leave and start heading towards the emergency exit, which sets off a loud, blaring alarm when opened. I react, lifting myself partway out of my chair to stop her before she can make this potentially annoying mistake. However, I see her stop and read the signs on the door... the signs that say, "Emergency Door: When opened, alarm will sound." I am comforted by the fact that she is reading, and release the tension, resting once again in my chair.

    Lo and behold, after READING the WARNING SIGNS, she goes ahead and attempts to open the door anyway! And then she jumps, surprised, no doubt, by the completely unexpected sound of the alarm going off!

    YOU ARE A F&%^ING GENIUS!

    I can only assume you reading the warning signs was some sort of deceptive charade meant to throw off predators that may not wish to wrestle with intelligent pray. However, the ploy fails when not effectively followed through. Consider yourself Lion food.
    ~ It is a beautiful day to be dizzy!

  • #2
    Maybe she likes the noise.
    Unseen but seeing
    oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
    There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
    3rd shift needs love, too
    RIP, mo bhrionglóid

    Comment


    • #3
      Or perhaps she thought the sign was in latin. "Alarm? What does that word mean?"
      "You're not gone five minutes, Agent Scully, and I'm already starting to feel like a stranger in my own office-"
      -Agent Doggett

      Comment


      • #4
        "Uh, 'Fra-gee-lay.' That must be Italian."
        "I think that says 'fragile', honey."
        "Oh, yeah."

        - A CHRISTMAS STORY

        Why does everything remind me of that movie?
        ~~*

        "No! You can take the kids, but you leave me my monkey." - WALK HARD: THE DEWEY COX STORY

        Comment


        • #5
          Quoth Meadhands View Post
          However, I see her stop and read the signs on the door... the signs that say, "Emergency Door: When opened, alarm will sound." I am comforted by the fact that she is reading, and release the tension, resting once again in my chair.
          You are way too trusting of other people's intelligence....

          ^-.-^
          Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden

          Comment


          • #6
            My only thought here is "you need proof?"

            Comment


            • #7
              Come on, ya'll! Stop picking on this poor girl. She probably wanted to see if that sign actually was telling the truth. Just like if a person knows the stove is hot, but touches it anyway, or decides to pour hot coffee in their lap, after the warning says "Warning: HOT!"

              Comment


              • #8
                This is the type of person that makes us look at totally reduntant warning lables,
                warning danger of death! At an electricity sub station
                Warning, hot coffee
                Warning, Sharp Blade (when buying scalpels from the chemist)
                Warning, may cause drowsiness (on sleeping tablets)
                Warning, Wear suitable eye protection (on a torch. Yes a torch. The type that emits light so you can see where your going when its dark type of torch)

                I rest my case
                A PSA, if I may, as well as another.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Quoth crazylegs View Post
                  warning danger of death! At an electricity sub station
                  This is the only sign I will not fault :P

                  The unsuspecting passerby may have no idea what the average electricity substation looks like

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Quoth Chanlin View Post
                    The unsuspecting passerby may have no idea what the average electricity substation looks like
                    They are all fenced off (over six feet) have the words Electricity Substation written on them and buzz. I'd say thats enough reason not to interfere!
                    A PSA, if I may, as well as another.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Warning: Do not iron clothes while on body.

                      Come on, are you serious??
                      Ridiculous 2009 Predictions: Evil Queen will beat Martha Stewart to death with a muffin pan. All hail Evil Queen! (Some things don't need elaboration.....) -- Jester

                      Ridiculous 2010 Predictions: Evil Queen, after escaping prison for last years prediction, goes out and waffle irons Rachel Ray to death. -- SG15Z

                      Ridiculous 2011 Prediction: Evil Queen will beat Gordon Ramsay over the head with a cast-iron skillet. -- FireHeart

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Oooh!, forgot this one!

                        Product will be hot after heating. (marks and spencers pie)

                        Noooo, you don't say!
                        A PSA, if I may, as well as another.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Quoth crazylegs View Post
                          Warning, Wear suitable eye protection (on a torch. Yes a torch. The type that emits light so you can see where your going when its dark type of torch)
                          We call those flashlights over here. Because, although they often serve a similar function, they're not torches.

                          The warning is stupid, but the reason is pretty valid. The LED lights we have these days can blind.

                          ^-.-^
                          Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Quoth crazylegs View Post
                            They are all fenced off (over six feet) have the words Electricity Substation written on them and buzz. I'd say thats enough reason not to interfere!
                            And that reminds me of a classic Ren & Stimpy episode (the one where Cousin Sven comes to visit) where Stimpy pulls out a board game . . .

                            Don't Whiz on the Electric Fence.

                            And speaking of warning labels, my personal fave is this one:

                            On a curling iron: Do not insert into any orifice

                            I'd ask who in their right mind would even entertain the notion that could even be a good idea, but we do have the Internet to prove otherwise.
                            Human Resources - the adult version of "I'm telling Mom." - Agent Anthony "Tony" DiNozzo (NCIS)

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Quoth crazylegs View Post
                              They are all fenced off (over six feet) have the words Electricity Substation written on them and buzz. I'd say thats enough reason not to interfere!
                              Wow, your local power company is trusting! The sub-stations near where I used to live all had double-high cyclone fencing with razor wire at the top.

                              Of course, that being required is yet another commentary on the average IQ found in America today.
                              "Always stand near the door." -- Doctor Who

                              Kuya's Kitchen -- Cooking, Cooking Gadgets, and Food Related Blather from a Transplanted Foodie

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X