You... are sucky. (long, unsatisfying)

[unholypet]

I went to school with KG and JM. They were spoiled rich girls who had charge accounts in 4th grade. That should tell you something.

They call from the local hospital, on the 3rd floor (see: psych ward and infectious disease ward and almost ICU/CCU condition area).

This was over the phone.

Me: Thank you fro calling (company), this is UnholyPet, how may I help you?
KG: Well, I'm in the hospital and I want a delivery.
Me: Okay, can I have the number to the hospital?
KG: I AM IN THE HOSPITAL so we are using my cellphone.
Me: (why the fuck do you have that turned on in a hospital?) I'm sorry, but your cell does not have an address, one moment while I look up the hospital.... and okay, which room are you in?
KG: 3rd floor.
Me: Okay, but which room are you in?
KG: We are on the THIRD floor!
Me: ...OKAY, but which room are you in?
KG: 3034.
Me: All right, thank you. Are you east or west side? (we have to ask, as mentioned above it is a strictly controlled floor level)
KG: Um. We're across from it.

No you're not. The nurse's station is across from there, followed by a broom closet.

Me: Are you moe left or right of the elevator?
KG: We're left of it.
Me: Okay, so west side? (not safe side)
KG: Which is that?
Me: The left side is the psych ward. West side.
KG: Oh, we're on the other place.
Me: ...are you in the (almost CCU/ICU) ward on the right/east side?
KG: OH YEAH, I got that confused.

Took her name n number, and she argued with at least five other people a moment. By the way, we've had trouble with people confusing us with other places, and using odd names for our food. That makes people think we have things we don't, so we are told to correct the word mistakes in as polite a way as possible.

KG: I want a large Snappoli, a Snapperoni, and a cheese stick.
Me: Okay, we only have Snappolies, and then we have Pockets, you said large so do you just mean the Snappoli?
KG: NO! I said a large one.
Me: We only have Snappolies in one size.
KG: Well, I want a large one.
Me: We only have it in one size, or you can get a Pocket. Are you wanting the bigger one?
KG: Well, yeah.
Me: What kind of Snappoli would you like?
KG: I want a LARGE ham and cheese.
Me: So a ham and cheese Snappoli, and you would like a Snapperoni, as well?
KG: Yeah.
Me: What size do you need?
KG: What sizes do you have?
Me: We have the Large, Medium, Baby Beast, and the Beast sizes.

So I explain, "the Baby is a four slice smaller pizza, and the Beast is a giant twenty four slice pizza."

KG: Do you just cut one pizza into small slices, or is it a big one.
Me: Its a giant tenty four slice pizza...

She argues with the background, and I hear JM yelling," STUPID! We want a large, there are six of us here!" No one mentioned that to me, you bitch.

KG: Its a large then.
Me: Okay, and a cheese stick. What size do you want for it?
KG: What sizes are they in?
Me: Large or small.
KG: I want a medium.
Me: (you rude, spoiled little daughter of a goat, I will beat you senseless if I can one day) We only have large or small.
KG: OH, so this is the large Snappoli thing again.
Me: We only carry CHEESESTICKS in large or small.
KG: I want a Beast one.

Would you like me to rip your arms off and eat them?

Me: So, large or small?
KG: Beast.
Me: Large or small?
KG: BABY Beast.
Me: Large or small?

I might get indigestion after that. I'll be sure to return your arms to you. Eww.
We went on like that until she submitted to small, and ordered sauces.

Me: And are you paying with a credit card?
KG: I want a two dollar tip on it.
Me: ...okay, are you paying with a card?
KG: With a two dollar tip.

We get through this. I write down the first card number, and punch it in. Invalid. I write down a similar number, invalid. I write down a third similar number, and...

Me: I'm sorry, it says this card is invalid.
KG: You take Visa, right?
Me: Yes, but you are not giving me a Visa number.
KG: How do you know?
Me: Visa starts with a 4. You are giving me a 1.
KG: OH MY GAWD.
-Five other girls: OH MY FSCKING GAWD!
Me:
KG: I was giving it to you backwards.

...she gave it to me right -> left.

JM: Oh m gad, give me the phone.
KG: You bitch!

*rustle rustle... BITCH.. rustle.. I'm so-- QUIT TOUCHING It--rustle*

JM: Hello?
Me: Hello. =_=
JM: We're done.
Me: Okay, we'll bring a strip for you to sign, and another for you to keep. It takes somewhere around 30 minutes, and we'll bring it to your room.
JM: It WILL be 30min.
Me: Close to that, yes.
JM: No, it WILL BE HERE in 30min.
Me: ...it may be a bit longer, but yes. CLOSE to 30min.
JM: *click*

I took my sweet-ass time making the order. I'd have done horrible things to their food, but that goes against my personal moral code.

Hard to believe just three years of this has turned me from a naive, sweet-mannered shy girl, into a customer-loathing, almost-negative-faith-in-humanity, mostly sweet, dry humored girl.

[chainedbarista]

shades of paris hilton/jessica simpson level stupidity there; charge accounts in early grade school?? serious wtfness there.

after some of their responses, i was hoping they were psych ward fodder, but i'm positive that's not allowed (i was hoping simply for the thought of two idiots about to be heavily sedated).

gah, good thing they have mommy and daddy to support them, otherwise, nature would quickly weed them out. (we can hope so, at least)

[crazylegs]

Having seen your youtube stuff as well, you have far more patience then I, add patience of a saint to your list of attributes.

[unholypet]

Having seen your youtube stuff as well, you have far more patience then I, add patience of a saint to your list of attributes.

Oh wow /blush lol

Thank you =3

after some of their responses, i was hoping they were psych ward fodder, but i'm positive that's not allowed (i was hoping simply for the thought of two idiots about to be heavily sedated).

I live in a small town, Barista, and those two already are the Paris Hiltons of my tri-city area. Rich, filled with tickets and DUIs, and free because of money.

[ArenaBoy]

You'd hate where I live. I live in one of the more affluent towns in the county (3rd or 4th richest in the nation, can't recall) and these types of girls are everywhere. They're all over my school, at Michigan State, at University of Michigan, Western Michigan, and so on and so forth. Can't stand them, and they always and I mean always have the intelligence of rocks. Saw them too much at Whiskeyclone and the other week I almost got hit by one of them because she was driving and talking on her cellphone.

[Fandangoose]

Hard to believe just three years of this has turned me from a naive, sweet-mannered shy girl, into a customer-loathing, almost-negative-faith-in-humanity, mostly sweet, dry humored girl.

It's a wonder most people in service jobs aren't transformed into raving homicidal maniacs in a much shorter time than three years! I'd say you're doing pretty well. Waiting on people for any length of time turns everyone into someone almost unrecognizable to her- or himself.

I wish for you the good fortune that I had, which is, after sixteen years of being terrorized by CUSStomers, I finally escaped in 2002. Except that I wish it for you much sooner! Best of luck!!!

[Becks]

Unholypet, you are the winner of today's -a-thon™.

Congrats!!

[RetailWorkhorse]

You really deserve a medal for dealing with those two.

*Draws a picture of a medal and pins it to Pet's shirt*

There ya go!

Had that been me, I'd have hung up. But then again I'd never have lasted long in your biz.

[karma_gypsy]

KG: I was giving it to you backwards.

Ummm, wow ....



I'm assuming 4th grade was as far as these girls got??? I'm surprised they could even read the numbers, or even dial the phone ...

I pity the doctors/nurses who had to deal with those dimwits ...

[unholypet]

I'm assuming 4th grade was as far as these girls got??? I'm surprised they could even read the numbers, or even dial the phone ...

No, they're passing college with flying (dollar sign) colors, as we speak.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

I went to school with KG and JM. They were spoiled rich girls who had charge accounts in 4th grade. That should tell you something.

Specifically, that tells me their folks have more money than brains or contraceptives.

Compared to them Paris Hilton's looking like a Rhodes scholar right about now. I'd probably have told them to try again when they mastered the concept of "large vs. small" and figured out the difference between 1 and 4.

With any luck, they'll hit a situation where their money won't be able to bail them out. Perhaps they'll wrap their car around a tree while driving drunk and end up disfigured or something.

[AdminAssistant]

And that is why I never order anything on the phone without looking at a menu. Sheesh.

I hate that rich dimwits can sail through college on their money alone (same goes for college athletes. Most athletes only have to maintain a 1.5 to keep their scholarships. That's like...a D+.) When I'm a professor, I won't put up with that kinda crap.

[Aislin]

My Dad was in a rehab hospital for a long stretch learning to walk again, the hospital had 3 separate area's- rehab for surgery victims, downstairs, drug rehab, upstairs, total lock down ward around the corner in a single story bunker...

well the rehab up looked down on the garden for the rehab down, since no phones in the hospital the only place to text, talk, or use the net, on a phone (if you did not want to die of smoke inhalation) was the rehab garden, it was non-smoking but I always wondered why I was the only one out there using the area, until 5 Paris wannabes started begging me in their oh so whiney tone to "gimme your phone just for a minute pleasssse" because in their rehab there was no contact with the outside till a certain responsibilities were learned, like, make you bed, pick up your dirty undies, don't bite the nurses kind of thing (easy for non-princesses) needless to say I did not let the use my phone, I would have never seen it again and learned to go sit in my car if I wanted to check my email. Also I learned I could not order food to that location due to the high amount of crank calls.
I had to go to the main portion of the hospital which was a nice 15 minute walk and wait at the main waiting area or the takeout places would just ignore my order.

[unholypet]

I had to go to the main portion of the hospital which was a nice 15 minute walk and wait at the main waiting area or the takeout places would just ignore my order.

That's awful! They really shoud've had some kind of measures in place like we do to weed out that sortof thing.

[TryNotToBeThatOne]

Y<snip> I almost got hit by one of them because she was driving and talking on her cellphone.

Anyone else get flashes of P!nk's video Stupid Girls? I mean, OMG. Like. Totally.