How much craziness do YOU deal with ?

[Victoria J]

I wanted to ask how many of you spend time dealing with the mad.

My job sort of involves this, and I got training in dealing with people etc. I was hugely surprised though to talk to a pest control worker and find out how much time they spend dealing with the mad.

Apparently a significant number of their calls are really just people who are seeing things. Some, like the call requesting someone to come out and kill the little green aliens in the skirting boards, can be weeded out by the people on the phones. Others sound perfectly reasonable but when they get out there the insects crawling on everything/everyone are only in the person's mind.

What sort of regular craziness do you have to deal with ?

(My personal favourite was someone who wanted to know what he could do about a neighbour using voodoo to make him faint... I also once advised someone who thought they were being followed everywhere by staff from DIY store B+Q...)

Victoria J

[HawaiianShirts]

Pizza Delivery:
There was only one crazy at that job. All the drivers were taught how to deal with him as part of their training. When he ordered pizza, we'd knock on his front door and wait for him to slip the money through the mail slot. Then we'd go around to the side of the house where we would hand the order to him through the basement window, one item at a time. He never spoke to the drivers in person, but he was rather friendly over the phone and always tipped.

Call Center:
On the free Bible line the LDS church sponsored, I got one woman who kept referring to me as "my child" and "blessing" me. She wasn't LDS; she just wanted the free Bible, but first she had to ask if it was the King James Version. It was. That was good. Out of either morbid curiosity or plain stupidity, I asked her why she specifically had to have a King James Version. She said, "Because the Devil came into my house last week, stole my King James, and threw it in the river. I've tried all my other Bibles, but God only speaks through the King James. That's why the Devil stole it. He doesn't like God speaking to me." She then went on to explain that Moses appeared to her years ago, ordained her a prophetess, taught her how to speak to God through the Bible and to angels through other religious texts, and told her that she would have some important part to play in the end of the world and resurrections and stuff like that.

Computer Sales:
Few real crazies come there. I get my fair share of people who are paranoid that wireless networks are bad because anyone with a computer can supposedly hack their network to visually spy on them in their homes. The one guy who really is crazy is, after three years, no longer interesting to me. He comes in once or twice a month and tells us that he is starting his own trucking company (he works for one in town, loading and unloading stuff), that his secretary is waiting in his car (he walks and rides the bus to get anywhere), and that he needs to buy computers for his business (throughout any conversation we might have with him, the number of computers frequently changes to any amount between 2 and 6). Any new employee fool enough to talk to him will wind up with cartloads of computers and equipment, then get up to the registers only to have the guy say he needs to get his checkbook from his car and disappear for a week or so.

[smileyeagle1021]

Call Center:
On the free Bible line the LDS church sponsored
.

i'm sure you got quite a few crazies on that line...

knowing how many anti mormon rants I've heard (ok, so very few, but very few even know they are speaking to someone in salt lake, so there is a decent amount of the people who realize their talking to someone in utah) i'm sure you must have heard a butt load on a line that is actually run by the LDS church.

[Sheldonrs]

I posted about this guy a while ago but the one crazy that really sticks in my mind is from when I worked for a software company that made software for screenwriter;s etc.
Long story short, he wanted me to help him find a lawyer to sue the production company and movie studio responsible for for the movie "Devil's Advocate" because he said it was a true story about his life. That means he is a lawyer who is the son of satan. Not really a far stretch.

[Kara]

I'm a Corrections Officer at a Maximum Custody state prison. I see crazy, and I mean truly, medically, textbook crazy, all the time.

When I was a Customer Service peon, I only thought the people I dealt with were nuts. Well, some of them were (like the guy who thought one of our towers "zapped" not only his Credit Card info, but also the cash out of his wallet), but now I have documentation from medical professionals to prove it.

[Jester]

I work in a downtown bar dealing with drunk and stupid tourists in Key Weird Key West, Florida, "where the weird go pro."

I deal with a completely different level of crazy almost every day, so much so that seeing a drag queen with a Dr. Seuss hat and leather bustier during lunchtime on a weekday wouldn't even turn my head anymore. (That would just be considered normal Key West craziness, after all.)

[AirHostess]

As cabin crew: not many crazies really, the real crazies can't get a passport or make it past security.

[chainedbarista]

yes, but they're mainly the homeless; we had the one who chose to wear a crash helmet, run out into traffic and dance to his heart's content. he also, a few days later, decided to try and choke out our am.

we had another who'd scream random obscenities to anyone, everyone and no one; her piece de resistance was to drop her pants and pee on the front door during the breakfast rush, which i'm glad i missed.

we have one who carries a rather large knife and told our manager that he would 'offer our store 'protection' if we would give him pastries in exchange.

there was a younger guy who decided to 'please himself' in front of the store during dinner rush...another one i'm glad i missed.

we did have a guy who'd pretend he was deaf and slip us threatening notes if we didn't give him free coffee.

another would come in and ask for 'just a taste' of coffee; we put a stop to this since it became an everyday occurrence.

we had one panhandler who'd ask for money, people would buy him food, then he'd complain there wasn't enough mayo on it.

these days, we used to have one who sits in the corner and has conversations with himself, but he attempted to steal cds, so he's banned.

[depechemodefan]

Wow, I can create a whole site from the crazies at the library.

There's the salamander man, who says that the CIA did experiments on him, placed a salamander in his head, and we have documentation of the experiments, which he wants us to give him. He also wears a tin-foil covered hat.

There's people who claim the be the mayor's kid (so far we had 2 diff. mayors while I've been here) and want us to do research for them.

There's this one woman who brings her school-age daughter, who is wearing some school uniform (the daughter, not the mom), during the day. The mom is nuts, she'll complain about the librarians and the customers. And she berates her daughter, who sits at a table doing homework. One day a customer told her she shouldn't talk to her daughter that way and there was this loud agrument. And the mom is always borrowing pens, staplers, etc from us. One day I told her she needs to bring her own supplies, so she complains about how rude I was, and how I should show more compassion. Of course, my spineless manager told me that I knew she (customer) was crazy, I shouldn't have said anything and let her borrow the stapler.

There's Mrs. Gold. She comes up with these weird requests, like "can you give me a list of shoe repair stores that will dye shoes purple." Me: "here's the phone book. You can call them." Her "but can't you look it up on your computer?" The managers will of course look it up for her and give her free printouts. This was going on for more than a year. One day one staff member saw she had a butcher's knife. So the police was called and they took her knife but didn't take her in. The cops said if she shows up again, to call them and tell them her name so they would bring back-up. They had to haul her in for other things before.

There's the guy who calls and either asks for "where in the bible does it say..." or "what is a vagina? What is a hormone?"

Then there was this guy who called and said he just go married and he doesn't know how to have sex with his wife can we tell him how. Ther first librarian to answer told him we had books he can check out. He hangs up and calls back with the same question. Oh, and he fakes an accent.

We have a lot of mumblers, who will walk around, mummbling to themselves.

There's a woman who says she's the legitimate Queen of England and we are doctoring the documents.

More to come.

[LifeCarnie]

Iseeing a drag queen with a Dr. Seuss hat and leather bustier during lunchtime on a weekday wouldn't even turn my head anymore. (That would just be considered normal Key West craziness, after all.)

You call it crazy. I call it just another Tuesday on Key West

I always thought that fending off the a brutal hangover, cats, and chickens at Blue Heaven while trying to eat breakfast was the craziest thing that happened to me in Key West.

[Victoria J]

I'm a Corrections Officer at a Maximum Custody state prison. I see crazy, and I mean truly, medically, textbook crazy, all the time.

Yeah - the rest of us normally have to guess (though I do sometimes get to know the diagnosis of the people I work with). I sometimes feel I ought to be allowed to diagnose people - I'm generally right by now !

Working with people with mental health problems is sometimes sad and often surreal and can make the day more interesting - but I'm guessing you also have a lot of the real scaries. The personality disorders and socio paths/psychopaths ?

I work in a downtown bar dealing with drunk and stupid tourists in Key Weird Key West, Florida, "where the weird go pro."

Makes note to visit Key West one day.

In this instance I'm looking for mad not weird though. The occasions you end up dealing with people you really would expect to be going to psychiatrists not pest control / bars/ the library. I'm just wondering how much time we all spend on this, and how common learning to deal with it is.

And enjoying the really surreal stories...

we have one who carries a rather large knife and told our manager that he would 'offer our store 'protection' if we would give him pastries in exchange.

That genuinely made me laugh aloud. Protection pastries.

Sounds like a great deal to me !

Wow, I can create a whole site from the crazies at the library.

What is it about libraries ?

I used to work in an advice centre located in a library. People would come and see us when they had no money, when they were homeless, when they'd been ripped off, when their relationship was breaking down... Loads of people in really stressful situations. Plenty of mad people too.

However we never had more than the odd screamer - while the librarians had repeatedly had the police called, had a couple of staff injured by "customers", and dealt with a level of insanity each day that I can't begin to imagine.


More of my stories :

Had to deal with a psychopath once - he was trying to arrange medical treatment which was kind of difficult as he'd stabbed his last doctor and had a history of attacking medical staff (thankfully he very specifically didn't like medical staff - not advisers !). He scared my manager so much he ended up photocopying hundreds of rants written on cereal packets and adding them to our file - all the rants were about how a soup he liked had been discontinued by the makers...

I had an old lady come in and sing Incy Wincy Spider to me.

I had a guy with severe mental health problems (including Schizophrenia) leave saying "Thank you for telling me to move Cornwall" - leaving me kind of baffled because I certainly hadn't.

I saw a hoarder - whose house was so bad the people who came round to inspect it wouldn't go in as it was a safety hazard. He carried a laundry bag everywhere with 3 coats, a tin of fruit and lots of other stuff. When he left I found I was developing a rash - and the only thing I'd touched was the paperwork he'd given me.

I colleague of mine once helped someone make a complaint about the health service - he wrote his complaint in poetry and it was all about how the view from his window wasn't fit for a dying man. He wasn't dying either.

There was a guy trying to track down the person who'd left hidden codes in his medical records. He had copies of his records - the codes were obviously written in with a pen afterwards...

Many many more, but that's all I can remember right now.

Victoria J

[wagegoth]

That means he is a lawyer who is the son of satan. Not really a far stretch.

Known a few of those.




I worked for Lear Fan. It was a company started by Bill Lear of Lear Jet. He wanted to build a commuter/private turbo prop plane with a body made of Kevlar that could get 10 miles to the gallon. We had test pilots. They are interesting. Very entertaining at times. Would I fly with one? Hell, yes! Would I marry one? Hell, no!

One guy had been a test pilot on the C5. He had these incredibly pale, gray eyes. They were the classic "nobody home" eyes. He just seemed to sort of drift here and there.

They were all crazy to fly, but the one in charge was just kinda crazy. He had four kids and their first names all started with the letter G, so he could say he was pulling four Gs.

And the engineers? There was one guy who had worked for NASA. He would only use green felt tip pens. We all hated him. When he left we gathered up every single green felt tip we could find and burned them. That was an unholy stench.

I just realized I kinda miss all the crazy. I wonder if I still have my Lear Fan shirt.

[depechemodefan]

He had four kids and their first names all started with the letter G, so he could say he was pulling four Gs.

I might be wrong, but that reminds me of George Forman who named all his sons "George".

[thehippie777]

Had a guy once that checked in. He was a little off. He paid cash. Not 10 minutes after I checked him in he claimed that some guy he didn't know was following him around the hotel & he hadn't even made it to his room. The only guy I had walking around at that time was my Night Maintenance guy, and I doubt he had been following him. He demanded his money back, said the hotel freaked him out, & left by foot.

Had a homeless man just wonder in our doors & just take a seat infront of our big screen TV in the lobby. I had to have Security come & tell him to leave.

Have had a couple people wonder in asking odd questions. I feel the need to just ask them to leave the hotel.

Believe it or not, there are quite a few well-to-do people who stay at this hotel & often I wonder about their sanities.

[depechemodefan]

There is gang-rape lady. She calls the library saying there are gangs in her neighborhood and she calls the cops and the mayor's office, and she's afraid she will be raped. This type of call is interspaced by other calls from her about how the gangs come in and burn her house and rape her.

The guy who erects shrines. He gets these river rocks and pile them on top of each other and ads things, like bloody newspapers, top parts of fences, free AOL cd-roms.

Guy who wants really specific books and when we tell him we don't have them he says we had them before. OH well. Though once he took off his shirt when we told him we didn't have a book. And sometimes he wears a colored-wire hat that looks homemade.

People who come in with food/take material to the restrooms (prohibited to do that) and get angry when we tell them they can't do that.

Guy who took a dump against the outside wall. Another guy took a dump right next to a tree, while standing up.