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  • Front of house fun

    First post, slightly ranty but the suckyness has been coming thick and fast this week.

    Reservations

    When I tell you this rate can only be booked online I do mean this, I can look up the rates that I can book through the crappy operating system, when you ask why the cheap rate isn’t there, Hmmm let me think because it’s only available online?

    At 11pm the rates are the same as they've been all day. The only changes I will make are an increase. And no, other-employee did not give you a better rate. Well that’s a lie Stupid Sally would knock £100 off without batting an eyelid, however she’s gone and that's for a reason.

    Check in

    Bring, Buy, Steal, Borrow, Rent, Forage for some common sense please. I will not be able to check you in halfway across the lobby, don't walk in and mutter something from across the lobby then look annoyed when I ask for your name once you get to the desk.

    I do not know who you are, there are about ten guests who I recognise instantly, they either practically live at the hotel, have the same room every stay or chat to us.

    Handing me a generic confirmation with no name, confirmation number or any identifiable information is NOT helpful. Don’t look at me with a confused expression when I ask for your name. I’m sorry the crappy system we have hasn’t stored your information, or you were booked in under a different first name, or you have the wrong address. News flash, whilst wonderful our reservations team are not perfect (despite their arguments).

    Our car park is NOT free. And once more for those who can't read our signs/listen to the person who takes the booking/read the website; it is not free.

    Yes mistakes happen, communication is not brilliant between departments however it isn't always my fault and for the love of dog, don't complain about it to a friend/ another guest who’s checking in/ someone on the phone I can hear you and yes I will take my sweet time now.

    Check out

    I need to have confirmation that I can charge the bill back to your company. I will not just charge it back. I will only be told to fix it by our financial assistant that means I'll be charging you anyway.

    Once again I do not know who you are, unless you are one of the ten I mentioned previously or you've been a particularly nice guest/ a huge pain the arse. Please give me your room number, and don't just stand there.

    You say you didn’t have that glass of wine, so why do I have a receipt with your signature and room number of it? The front desk has more than a few ways to stop you trying to pull a fast one.

    Finally

    No we are not the (close but bigger chain hotel) or the (not so close but much bigger chain hotel). We are not a pizza delivery service or a brothel. This should be clear when I answer the phone with “Hello Myhotel Closertosane speaking how may I help you?”
    "So you think they named this ship the "Chimera" because there's a monster on board?" Tony DiNozzo

    "They did not name it the puppy" Ziva David - NCIS, Chimera
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