Specific answers for vague/general questions

[zigcat]

I'd like people to share those occasions where scs expect you to give them specific answers to general questions, with little or no information.

One example I can think of was the guy who called and wanted to know how much three pizzas were going to cost. I asked him if he knew what size and how many toppings he wanted on them. No. He just wanted a ball park figure on three pizzas. I tried to explain that we had four different sizes, over 50 items, not to mention our specialty pizzas, if he wanted any kind of estimate he was going to have to be just a little more specific

"I don't know why you're making this so difficult" he said, "I just want to know how much it's going to cost me for three pizzas."

At this point I gave up and told him that our pizzas started out at ten dollars for a small cheese and went up from the there.

His escape route? Telling me that was too much and he was going to call domino's.

Good.

[marasbaras]

I've had $10 small cheese pizzas that were worth every cent. Of course, they had high-end, imported-directly-from-Italy cheeses, fantastic sauces, and thin, thin crusts that were crunchy on the outside and yet still chewy on the inside.

On the topic ... I was doing some tech support. Got a call "How do I fix my program?" Oh man, I knew it was going to be bad.

[edible_hat]

Off topic: The best pizzas I've ever had were from this one place which is always kind of crowded on Friday and Saturday nights despite being a bit of a way away from all the hot nightspots. They have two sizes and prices start at $5.50.

On topic: I've been asked "How much will it cost to fill my car?" over the phone. I have no idea what kind of car the customer had, what kind of fuel it takes or how much was already in it. Also for some reason it's illegal for me to give out fuel prices over the phone.

[draftermatt]

"Yeah uh, I have a building I want to put up, it's in New York, can you handle that? Oh really, that much is in NY huh? Anyway, how much per square foot would it cost?"

At which point I have to ask a deluge of questions to figure out what kind of ballpark answer I can give him.

[Shironu-Akaineko]

"Excuse me, do you have bread?" I was then expected to totally guess what they wanted. My own questions (Commercial? made instore? white? whole wheat?) were answered by "Well, bread to make toasts! Bread to make sandwiches!" Or my favorite, "The bread I buy every time!"

If YOU don't know what bread you buy EVERY TIME, either you need to shop more often or to pay attention to what you buy.

I KNOW I buy Pom whole wheat short bags. Jeeeeezzz.

[Imprl59]

My favorites are the customers who call for computer support and tell me they got "some error message about something" and want to know how to fix it. I get that one all the time...

Steve B.

[smileyeagle1021]

on the topic of pizzas... I think the best I've had is Nick'n'Willies take and bake... their supreme pizzas are delicious... you can't see the pizza for the toppings (mmm, thinking I should call an order in when they open)

oh and my favorite vague questions

-how much does a room cost... bonus points if they are calling in on a general number rather than a hotel specific number. And don't try explaining to them that rates vary by time of year, hotel occupancy, how many will be staying in the room, and room prefference...
-do you have rooms available for one night? yes, I have rooms available for one night, it might not be the same one night you want though.

[depechemodefan]

SC: Do you have books on tape?
Me: Yes, we do.
SC: Where are they?
(I work in a building with 6 floors, with a Children's area, A Social Sciencies and History dept. a Humanities dept., a Foreign Language dept., a Business dept., a Science dept., and probably other places where there would be books on tape.)
Me: It depends on what subject your looking for
SC: *with a catbutt face* You don't know where they are? I'm going to the catalog.

Joke will be on her if she doesn't know which floor the departments are, since the catalog won't tell her that.

I hate recipe questions. They will say "I want a recipe for oatmeal raisin cookies" and you try to get more from them. They will say any recipe. YOu get back on the phone and start telling them then they say, "Is there one with just brown sugar?" Or "diet cookies." Or one "that isn't too hard?" Or one they saw on the Cooking Channel, though they first said they didn't care which recipe.

[HawaiianShirts]

I've had plenty of questions like that. Usually because the customer just doesn't know enough about the item they need, like computer memory, and just make up a response that they think fits. (No, "just regular memory" doesn't help. I need to know size, type, and speed.)

One I remember specifically came in on a phone call. I sell computers. Apparently thinking I'm also tech support, some guy called and said (verbatim): "I'm trying to get on XBox Live. Do you know what's wrong?"

The best, though, didn't happen to me. I overheard it in a local music shop. This particular shop sells new and used CDs. They have one wall of DVDs and one shelf of video games, but the rest is all music.
Customer: (walks in and directly to the counter) Hey, do you sell CDs?
Guy at Counter: Yeah.
Customer: What kind?
Guy at Counter: ... Uh... The round kind.
Me: (snicker)
Customer: Great! Where are they?
Me: (snicker, snort)
Guy at Counter: (makes wide sweeping gesture at the interior of the store)
Customer: (looks) Whoa! You DO have CDs, don't you?! (wanders off to browse music)
Me: (attempting to restrain maniacal laughter)

[TTAZ]

My favorite:

"How much does the electricity run?"

"It really depends on usage"

"Just a ballpark figure then will be fine"

Oh really? It will? Oh thank you kind patron of rentals! See, here's the thing. If you like to keep your a/c on at 68 degrees 24 hours a day, and cook briskets all day in an electric oven, after taking very long hot showers with your all electric water heater constantly going, and you live in a community with older, electricity sucking appliances, then your bill might be a tad on the high side.

"How much is on the high side?"

A million g*dd*mn dollars. Next please!

[Nyx]

I once got asked "Do you sell anything round?" I waited to see if she would elaborate, she didn't, so I had to ask specifics. She said her daughter needed to make a pie chart, I can work with that, round though...not so much.

[Peppergirl]

As a travel agent, I really like it when they call and say:

"Yeah, how much is a rental car?"

Bonus points when they get annoyed when I ask them the pesky little details like, oh, what CITY, what DATE, what SIZE car, etc.

[Apathy]

I worked in the equivalent of a wm, so there's a giant grocery part, and a giant GM part. I worked in GM.

Lady comes up, "Excuse me, do you sell groceries?"
Me: "Yes. They're that way." *Points west*
Lady: "Thanks!"

I expected elaboration, but no. She just wanted groceries in general.

[Format C]

My answer to "What's the cheapest printer you have?" is "Out-the-door or per page?"

[Parrothead]

"How much to board my pet?"

We need to know:
-Species (dog, cat, rabbit, frog, bird, etc.)
-Size (If it's a dog. we have different rates for under 50 lbs and 51 lbs up.)
-When you want to board (If the kids are out of school, it adds $2 a day to the cost.)
-Are you getting any activities?
-Are you getting a bath?
-Etc.


I also get "how much is a groom?"

Ok: breed; state of the coat; just a bath, or a bath and a haircut; did you want any of our "spa" specials?


Graaa! I've had to answer those all day today, too.