The Tow Files - I'm glad I'm getting a 3 day weekend....

[Argabarga]

After dealing with the following geniuses this week.


There really ARE people who can't find their way out of paper bags...

Me - Did someone at this number just call in need of a tow?
Guy - Yes, I need you to tow the guy parked next to me, he's always parking too close to me!
Me - Uh, unless he's in a private parking space that belongs to you, I can't legaly tow another person's car. If he was in your parking space, I could, but if he's in his space, even if he's sloppily parked, there's nothing I can do.
Guy - But he's parked too close to me! I can't open my car door! I'll be late for work!
Me - Uh, can't you just open your passenger's door and slide accross the front seat?
Guy - Oh no! I've got a standard transmission, the shifter is in the way...
Me - .... Hmm, seems I've recieved a crudely-written note on a tiny scrap of paper, "Unless you hang the phone up immediately, we are going to go on strike en masse and you'll be lucky if you can crap your pants without assistance, sincerely, your brain cells" (I pawned this guy off on the cops and hung up quick, thankfully he didn't call back)

And don't try paying with Monopoly money

Me - Okay sir, the total to release the vehicle from impound will be $295.
Deadbeat - What? I thought the towing fee for the Borough was $95?
Me - Yes it is sir, but you have 4 outstanding parking tickets according to our records, since you haven't paid them, each is now considered delinquent and will be a $50 fee for each. In fact, that's why your vehicle was called in to us, non-payment of parking tickets.
Deadbeat - Parking tickets? you mean those tickets I was getting were REAL? I thought they were fake.

(I wonder if he's ever tried to use that same logic on a cop? " You mean that guy with the gun and badge who told me to pull over was real Your Honor? I thought they were just shooting a sequel to Super Troopers"

Surprisingly, the name on the license wasn't "Brittany"

Jump starting a Jeep with a dead battery....

Me - *attaching my cables* Okay, give that a try
Ditz - *turns key, engine starts*
Me - *unhooks cables, wraps them up, puts them in truck, then notices, the Jeep just got really quiet, Ms. Ditz is hanging out the window
Ditz - It won't start!
Me - Did you just now shut it off?
Ditz - Yeah, now it won't start!
Me - Here's why you can't do that.... (Oh how I wish I didn't have this lecture memorized....)
__________________

[friendofjimmyk]

I feel your pain!

[Bramblerose]

can't crawl over his shift and parking break? Sad and sorry wimp! I sentence you to yoga!

as for teh other two- blink? blinkblinkblink!

[Becks]

How on earth did Ditz get her license?

[donruss]

Maybe there is a medical reason why he cannot inch his way over the gearshift. Some handicaps are not visible to other people (arthritis, knee replacements or just bad knees, back, pinched nerves, etc.). Please keep this in mind before judging too quickly.

[Andara Bledin]

If you're just a large person (and not even obese), it can be exceedingly difficult to get from the passenger side to the driver's side. Long legs along can make it a problem.

As for miss ditz; it would be awfully nice if parents would give their kids a little "this is how you take care of a car" tutorial when they give little Precious their graduation present.

Of course, I knew how to do all that stuff long before I could drive, because my parents made me check fuel levels and stuff for them when I was a kid.

^-.-^

[Difdi]

Me - Did you just now shut it off?
Ditz - Yeah, now it won't start!
Me - Here's why you can't do that.... (Oh how I wish I didn't have this lecture memorized....)

Reminds me of a work order on this really godawful kitschy lamp that went through the shop a while back. In the part of the form about why it needed repairs, it said "Customer said cord didn't match furniture, customer doesn't know why lamp isn't working. Customer wants cord replaced with white one." ...The cord had, apparently, been cut off the lamp with a pair of pinking shears, judging by the jagged nature of the severed cord. Apparently someone out there is unaware that electric lights need to be plugged in.

[protege]

If you're just a large person (and not even obese), it can be exceedingly difficult to get from the passenger side to the driver's side. Long legs along can make it a problem.

Small cars can be a problem too. I don't know about you all, but I'm not exactly large...and it's nearly impossible to crawl from one side of the MG to the other. I suppose it could be done, but the low roof, large steering wheel, gearshift, handbrake lever...well, it's not happening

[Luna Baby]

My baby sister was almost 9 months preggo with sonny boy and was really big (so big that she appeared to have been preggo for 15 months, not 9. She ran to Wal-Mart to pick up a few last minute items to get ready for having a newborn in the house. She drove a Dodge Neon. Some dip**** parked so close to her that she couldn't even get to the driver side door! Being that big and pregnant, she couldn't climb over the center from the passenger side either. She promptly wrote a quick note to the offending parker and left it on their windshield, just so they'd know what they had done. She did go back into the store and had a seat for a while to give the offending parker time to finish their shopping and leave. She should have had them paged to the service desk and showed them her belly. If I can't park where I won't hit another vehicle opening my doors or them to not hit me, I park somewhere else.

I can understand the callers frustration, but it's not your problem.

(I doubt the little note did anything to curb the offender's future parking problems, but I'm sure little Sis felt better after writing it.)

[marasbaras]

Small cars can be a problem too. I don't know about you all, but I'm not exactly large...and it's nearly impossible to crawl from one side of the MG to the other. I suppose it could be done, but the low roof, large steering wheel, gearshift, handbrake lever...well, it's not happening

It just occurred to me that you could film people doing this and fill some kind of obscure fetish niche.

[Nashida]

Small cars can be a problem too. I don't know about you all, but I'm not exactly large...and it's nearly impossible to crawl from one side of the MG to the other. I suppose it could be done, but the low roof, large steering wheel, gearshift, handbrake lever...well, it's not happening

Same here. I'm an average sized woman, but short legged, short....everything, and still can't crawl my way from the driver to passenger side of my tiny Hyundai Accent if someone pulls in too close.

I seem to have no problem climbing up over the front seat to the backseat, however...

[Brightglaive]

Same here. I'm an average sized woman, but short legged, short....everything, and still can't crawl my way from the driver to passenger side of my tiny Hyundai Accent if someone pulls in too close.

I seem to have no problem climbing up over the front seat to the backseat, however...

I don't know. If it bothers me too much, and I'm in my junky car, maybe I'll just accidentally ram my door into the side of their wonderful paint job. "OOPS!! I'm sorry!! Is that a scratch?" I've SO considered it a hundred times. Never done it though. Although maybe leaving a note (with no fingerprints) that says, "OOPS!! I'm sorry!! Is that a scratch? Maybe you should leave a little more room between your vehicle and mine next time. " on the windshield might be revenge enough.

Psychological warfare.....I love it!!!

[Andara Bledin]

I've often considered leaving a note for people who park like asshats apologizing for non-existant damage.

Of course, my aunt once left a note on a car in the parking lot of the bowling alley where we had our league about how badly the woman had parked.

The woman in question got so worked up over it that she actually hired a private investigator to fingerprint the note and tell her which person at the alley left it.

Of course, when she confronted my aunt two weeks later, my aunt just told her if she didn't park like an entitelment-minded bitch she would get notes left on her car. She also told the woman that if she had bothered to ask about it she'd have admitted to leaving the note and she could have saved a bunch of money and time. (wow, that's a lot of pronouns in there)

^-.-^

[Ad_Astra]

Guy - But he's parked too close to me! I can't open my car door! I'll be late for work!
Me - Uh, can't you just open your passenger's door and slide accross the front seat?
Guy - Oh no! I've got a standard transmission, the shifter is in the way...

That I think he may have had a point on. I'm 6'2 (Amazon alert!) and I drive a TINY Toyota--I can't have my knees not pushed against the dash even with the seat all the way back, crawling over the shifter makes me shudder even in theory.

Then again he may have just been a dumbass.

[Becks]

She should have had them paged to the service desk and showed them her belly.

She should've.

I would, if I'm ever in a situation like that.