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  • Do You Have Big Jugs?

    So my work day today was going extremely sucky. I had to deal with the following asshats.

    -The woman who asked me if she could use our bathroom. When I said No, she began to plead with me over and over. How many times did I say No before she got the hint? 5.

    -The guy who couldn't find the beer he wanted so he decided to go into the Employees Only area without even bothering to ask if we even carried it.

    -And the guy who ordered a case of wine from us. I could not sell it to him until I could get a hold of my boss to ask how much to charge him. Is it my fault I couldn't get of him for a couple of hours? No. His nasty, impatient, attitude did not help matters.

    I was in a foul mood when a guy came up to the counter and asked "Do you have big jugs?"

    Me:
    Him:

    He was looking for big jugs alright....of water. His awkward turn of phrase did relive some of the stress I had been carrying around that day.
    My Horror Blog

    Cinemania

  • #2
    I once had to phone up and ask a supplier about knockers - door knockers. Much amusement was had.
    "I can tell her you're all tied up in the projection room." Sunset Boulevard.

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    • #3
      "What knockers!"
      "Oh, thank you Dr. Frankenstein."

      "Even arms dealers need groceries." ~ Ziva David, NCIS

      Tony: "Everyone's counting on you, just do what you do best."
      Abby: "Dance?" ~ NCIS

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      • #4
        Quoth TruthHurts View Post
        a guy came up to the counter and asked "Do you have big jugs?"
        Some people just don't think, don't they?

        Unseen but seeing
        oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
        There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
        3rd shift needs love, too
        RIP, mo bhrionglóid

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        • #5
          If you want big jugs, look here: Big Jugs
          "I don't have to be petty. The Universe does that for me."

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          • #6
            Four candles?
            ludo ergo sum

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            • #7
              On a not-quite-related note:

              My girlfriend's mother's maiden name is (translated into Englisch) F*cker. Yes, really.

              Back when she was a young girl, she'd gone into apprenticeship with an electrician. On one of her first work days, she was answering the phones, when one of her firm's biggest customers called - a man named Pr*ck.

              C = Customer
              YA = Young Apprentice

              C: Yes, this is Pr*ck with Company X.
              YA: Good day sir, this is F*cker with Company Y.
              C: *click*

              Half an hour later, the man was in their office, demanding to know why one of their employees was making fun of him. It took a bit of explaining and showing of ID before he calmed down and apologized.

              From that day on, when answering the phones, she only used the company name, not her own. I imagine she was quite happy to marry a man named Miller
              You gotta polish a memory like a stone. Chip off the parts that remind you it was just a game. Work it until it's indistinguishable from any other memory.

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              • #8
                Quoth TruthHurts View Post
                I was in a foul mood when a guy came up to the counter and asked "Do you have big jugs?"

                Me:
                Him:

                He was looking for big jugs alright....of water. His awkward turn of phrase did relive some of the stress I had been carrying around that day.
                My mother wanted to buy a small, round, handle for a set of drawers. She went to the local little hardware store and asked the young man (16 ? 17 ?) "Do you have a small knob ?"

                Apparently he appeared to believe that this old lady was deliberately tormenting him - and turned brick red.

                Thankfully they do not sell small round handles and he was at least able to say "no".

                My mother is unembarassable and unrepentant, but didn't do it deliberately. It's probably not even the worst thing she done like that.

                Victoria J

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                • #9
                  I was on the BOD of a horse rescue for a while.

                  Once, we took in some homeless burros.

                  Many "Have you seen the nice ass in the barn?" comments were made.

                  "NICE ASS!" was also shouted loudly.
                  My basic dog food advice - send a pm if you need more.

                  Saydrah's leaving the nest advice + packing list live here.

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                  • #10
                    I went to dine at a place called Magic Time Machine . . .
                    Basically the servers dress up (Cartoon Characters, Movie Stars, TV Stars, historical persons etc.)
                    So Lil Abner brings my food out and says "My that's a nice breast you have there"
                    I looked him straight in the eye looked down at my neck line then back to his eyes and said, "Thank you but what about the other one"
                    It should be noted I had ordered the grilled Chicken breast.
                    My date literally fell out of his chair he was laughing so hard.
                    Lil Abner turned about 5 shades of red.
                    My friend that worked there (portraying Aladin that evening) was around the corner also laughing . . .he apparently put Lil Abner up to it knowing I would either play along or ignore it.

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                    • #11
                      Quoth Saydrah View Post
                      Once, we took in some homeless burros.

                      Many "Have you seen the nice ass in the barn?" comments were made.
                      So you're saying your rescue had a mighty fine ass?

                      ^-.-^
                      Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden

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                      • #12
                        We did! However, it was a nice, round ass, one might even say a fatass so the hay portions had to be cut down. But it didn't much like its diet, so the smartass got into the feed room and gorged itself on grain!
                        My basic dog food advice - send a pm if you need more.

                        Saydrah's leaving the nest advice + packing list live here.

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                        • #13
                          Quoth Saydrah View Post
                          But it didn't much like its diet, so the smartass got into the feed room and gorged itself on grain!
                          So you're saying the ass ended up stuffed?

                          ^-.-^
                          Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden

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                          • #14
                            Yes! And the ass COULD have been royally f*cked, because overindulging in grain can cause founder in equines. Thankfully, it was a fine ass, with a healthy digestive system, and avoided becoming a sick ass. However, it did not lose weight, because volunteers feeling sorry for the fatass brought it carrots and other goodies. So, whenever someone showed up toting treats, we presumed they were intending to stick it in our ass.
                            My basic dog food advice - send a pm if you need more.

                            Saydrah's leaving the nest advice + packing list live here.

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                            • #15
                              Off-topic, but that last 3 posts made me think of this. :P

                              Excessive use of "Shit", but hilarious.
                              I am a Blank Space for spacing purposes, ignore me.
                              In order to treat someone as your equal, you first need to believe both: that they are your equal, and that you are their's.

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