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We all know that the computers we are using are going to get dirty though their daily use. We tend not to notice the light dirt on the outside until it starts to build up, at which point, most people get some flash and a piece of cloth to give the computer, keyboard, mouse, monitor and other various bits and bobs a wipe. Those among us who are not computer savvy and don’t like taking their machine apart DEFINATLY won’t notice the dust gathering up inside the machine on the heat syncs and fans (yes, it DOES Happen, even in the cleanest of houses) but pretty much everyone here, computer savvy or not cleans the computer every once-in-a-while. Some of my customers do not.
The common one on the inside is dust. Our company offers a service where we will do that for you under either a general overhaul of the computer (much like your cars M.O.T & Service ) for £49.99 or as a stand-alone service for £9.99 where we open up the side of your computer and clean the dust out of it.
About 3 years ago, we realised with how much it was costing us in compressed air, we were not making as much money on the 9.99 service as we should have been so the idea a few of us had was to buy an air compressor, get the company to pay for it (which they did) and that would be job done. The task would be a bit nosier now but a lot cheaper to run. Problem is that our in-experience meant we had no idea just how powerful this air compressor was because we never filed it’s storage tank to full pressure. We just used to plug it in when we needed it, wait a few seconds, then start using it.
About a month after having bought this air compressor, we get a customer come in…the Customer looked filthy, much less the computer. We took the machine apart and I am not kidding you, it was like a carpet over the components. You could tell they smoked, since it was all sticky and brown as well. The department supervisor, Ant, decided, rightly so, that we were not going to blow the dust out of that inside, it was to be done outside. Fair enough, can’t say I disagree there…which made a change because ant and I never got on while he was my boss. He opened the warehouse doors and put the computer out on the staff carpark. We didn’t have an extension lead to power the compressor so what we did was plug it in, let it inflate the cylinder to full pressure then took it out to the computer. Any took aim with the nozzle and fired…promptly blasting the CPU fan into a million bits (which I thought and still think was absolutely HILARIOUS. Ant’s face was one of shock) Any computer in reasonable condition could have taken the pressure…just. This computer was NOT in good condition. Alas, we had to replace the CPU fan for them, finish cleaning the computer and, needless to say, we set a maximum pressure on the air compressor, so it never inflates over about 50psi. Well within any computer’s design limit
About a year ago, a customer bought a desktop PC in that was in the worst state I have EVER seen. Half of the side panel was missing, and looked like it had been cut off with a saw, the actual case it’s self was filthy, the wires inside had been chewed through and there was some form of fluid swimming around on the bottom. It looked and smelled like off-milk…but I have to say, the smell may have just come from the customer. I flatly told the customer that I am not booking the computer in because it is a health and safety hazard.
SC – Smelly customer
Me: Sir, I cannot and will not even touch your computer. I do not know what that liquid is at the bottom and believe it may be hazardous
SC: So drain the liquid
Me: That’s not the point. There are also wires that have their conductive material exposed.
SC: You don’t have insulation tape? What kind of electronics store is this?!
Me: Ok, I’m going to put this VERY simply. This computer has a sharp edge which is going to cut me right open as soon as I touch it. You are mixing water and electricity, or much more than that, water and bare exposed wires, I dread to think about what that liquid actually is and, judging by the colour of it, what bacteria it contains. If you want your computer repairing under the warranty (he had the extended warranty which, for some reason, covers this kind of thing) then you can take it home and call a tech out to it. It won’t cost you any extra. Quote this reference number *writes him a reference number which was the date and time down to the second, That I was about to go and create.* and they will get a tech to you.
He wasn’t too happy but he accepted it, since I then told him they would get a tech out to his house in about 2 days. With regards to my reference numbers, if I was to write one for this very second, they it would be 23052008203807 which is the date 23/05/2008 and time 20:38:07 means each reference number I create is unique, I don’t need to check them
Anyway, I then took a copy of the number for myself and created the job notes on our system putting “Customer came in with PB iMed 1509 in a disgraceful state. Frayed wires, liquid in the bottom of the machine, case has been CUT open. Needless to say the machine does neither power nor POST (POST = Power On, Self Test, for those that don’t know) will require at least a new PB 250Watt PSU, new IDE cables and a bottle of acid to clean it with. Would recommend Technician goes in a HazMat suit, or at very least carries a bottle of disinfectant in the van” …no, customers NEVER see the JRS booking notes ^^;
9 months ago, A guy comes into me with a Compaq laptop. All I can say is thankfully for him, he had the accidental damage warranty. He brings the laptop me;
SC: Sucky customer
SC: Hiya bud. How you doing?
Me: (In a good mood for once) I’m good thanks. You?
SC: Very well, but my laptop here is a bit sick
Me: Ok, whats up with it?
SC: They keys don’t seem to be working properly
Me: *Opens the laptop and looks between the keys* are they sticking and not typing correctly? Missing letters, using the wrong letters and things like that?
SC: Yeah, how did you know?
Me: I can see you’ve spilt something sticky on it. *smiles at the guy* but it’s not a lot of liquid. It’s still gonna be a new keyboard membrane. You’ll need to book this directly if you want it back quickly
SC: Can you book it?
Me: sure.
SC: *Snaps fingers* I just remembered what it is I spilt on there
Me: Oh yeah?
SC: Cum!
Me: say what now? O.o
SC: Yeah, I was looking on the net for some porn while I was having a Wa-
Me: YEAH! I get the picture. I don’t need any more information, thanks. Sorry, Mate. But I can’t book a computer that has bodily fluids on it. The department of health and safety would crucify me if they found out. You need to book it directly where they can take it to a place which has the correct equipment to deal with it
SC: your joking?!
Me: Nope.
SC: Crap *walks off*
Me: o.o; *walks back behind the glass* do we have any brain bleach in here?
The common one on the inside is dust. Our company offers a service where we will do that for you under either a general overhaul of the computer (much like your cars M.O.T & Service ) for £49.99 or as a stand-alone service for £9.99 where we open up the side of your computer and clean the dust out of it.
About 3 years ago, we realised with how much it was costing us in compressed air, we were not making as much money on the 9.99 service as we should have been so the idea a few of us had was to buy an air compressor, get the company to pay for it (which they did) and that would be job done. The task would be a bit nosier now but a lot cheaper to run. Problem is that our in-experience meant we had no idea just how powerful this air compressor was because we never filed it’s storage tank to full pressure. We just used to plug it in when we needed it, wait a few seconds, then start using it.
About a month after having bought this air compressor, we get a customer come in…the Customer looked filthy, much less the computer. We took the machine apart and I am not kidding you, it was like a carpet over the components. You could tell they smoked, since it was all sticky and brown as well. The department supervisor, Ant, decided, rightly so, that we were not going to blow the dust out of that inside, it was to be done outside. Fair enough, can’t say I disagree there…which made a change because ant and I never got on while he was my boss. He opened the warehouse doors and put the computer out on the staff carpark. We didn’t have an extension lead to power the compressor so what we did was plug it in, let it inflate the cylinder to full pressure then took it out to the computer. Any took aim with the nozzle and fired…promptly blasting the CPU fan into a million bits (which I thought and still think was absolutely HILARIOUS. Ant’s face was one of shock) Any computer in reasonable condition could have taken the pressure…just. This computer was NOT in good condition. Alas, we had to replace the CPU fan for them, finish cleaning the computer and, needless to say, we set a maximum pressure on the air compressor, so it never inflates over about 50psi. Well within any computer’s design limit
About a year ago, a customer bought a desktop PC in that was in the worst state I have EVER seen. Half of the side panel was missing, and looked like it had been cut off with a saw, the actual case it’s self was filthy, the wires inside had been chewed through and there was some form of fluid swimming around on the bottom. It looked and smelled like off-milk…but I have to say, the smell may have just come from the customer. I flatly told the customer that I am not booking the computer in because it is a health and safety hazard.
SC – Smelly customer
Me: Sir, I cannot and will not even touch your computer. I do not know what that liquid is at the bottom and believe it may be hazardous
SC: So drain the liquid
Me: That’s not the point. There are also wires that have their conductive material exposed.
SC: You don’t have insulation tape? What kind of electronics store is this?!
Me: Ok, I’m going to put this VERY simply. This computer has a sharp edge which is going to cut me right open as soon as I touch it. You are mixing water and electricity, or much more than that, water and bare exposed wires, I dread to think about what that liquid actually is and, judging by the colour of it, what bacteria it contains. If you want your computer repairing under the warranty (he had the extended warranty which, for some reason, covers this kind of thing) then you can take it home and call a tech out to it. It won’t cost you any extra. Quote this reference number *writes him a reference number which was the date and time down to the second, That I was about to go and create.* and they will get a tech to you.
He wasn’t too happy but he accepted it, since I then told him they would get a tech out to his house in about 2 days. With regards to my reference numbers, if I was to write one for this very second, they it would be 23052008203807 which is the date 23/05/2008 and time 20:38:07 means each reference number I create is unique, I don’t need to check them
Anyway, I then took a copy of the number for myself and created the job notes on our system putting “Customer came in with PB iMed 1509 in a disgraceful state. Frayed wires, liquid in the bottom of the machine, case has been CUT open. Needless to say the machine does neither power nor POST (POST = Power On, Self Test, for those that don’t know) will require at least a new PB 250Watt PSU, new IDE cables and a bottle of acid to clean it with. Would recommend Technician goes in a HazMat suit, or at very least carries a bottle of disinfectant in the van” …no, customers NEVER see the JRS booking notes ^^;
9 months ago, A guy comes into me with a Compaq laptop. All I can say is thankfully for him, he had the accidental damage warranty. He brings the laptop me;
SC: Sucky customer
SC: Hiya bud. How you doing?
Me: (In a good mood for once) I’m good thanks. You?
SC: Very well, but my laptop here is a bit sick
Me: Ok, whats up with it?
SC: They keys don’t seem to be working properly
Me: *Opens the laptop and looks between the keys* are they sticking and not typing correctly? Missing letters, using the wrong letters and things like that?
SC: Yeah, how did you know?
Me: I can see you’ve spilt something sticky on it. *smiles at the guy* but it’s not a lot of liquid. It’s still gonna be a new keyboard membrane. You’ll need to book this directly if you want it back quickly
SC: Can you book it?
Me: sure.
SC: *Snaps fingers* I just remembered what it is I spilt on there
Me: Oh yeah?
SC: Cum!
Me: say what now? O.o
SC: Yeah, I was looking on the net for some porn while I was having a Wa-
Me: YEAH! I get the picture. I don’t need any more information, thanks. Sorry, Mate. But I can’t book a computer that has bodily fluids on it. The department of health and safety would crucify me if they found out. You need to book it directly where they can take it to a place which has the correct equipment to deal with it
SC: your joking?!
Me: Nope.
SC: Crap *walks off*
Me: o.o; *walks back behind the glass* do we have any brain bleach in here?
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