The EWs are coming, the EWs are coming

[smileyeagle1021]

1 light if by phone
ok, so this lady calls in yesterday, and I have yet to find a better example of entitlement whorism... recently

me- oh God, why do you send all these people to me
ew- no room but 423 will work
hw- overworked hotel worker
thoughts in italics

me- (hotel) reservation desk, this is smileyeagle speaking, may I ask with whom I'm speaking?
ew- yes this is EW, I'm a frequent guest
shit
me- and how can I assist you today Ms. EW
EW- yes, I'd like to reserve room 423 for check in on sunday staying 10 nights, and please say you know how to load the medical rate
no I can't load a medical rate, that rate doesn't exist, if you mean (name of nearby hospital) rate then I can help you
me- ok and let me double check what's available.
ew- 423 is still a smoking room right?
thank you God, you do exist, now I have something to work with now I have a 50/50 chance of getting it right
me- yes ma'am it is still a smoking room, but it looks like it isn't available, the only rooms I have available in smoking are with 2 double size beds.
please be right
ew- well that just isn't acceptable, a king bed might have worked even if it wasn't 423, but 2 beds won't work, move someone from a room with king into 2 doubles.
me- I'm sorry ma'am, but I can't do that, unless some one requests a room type change or cancels all I can do is reserve the 2 doubles and put you on a wait list for a room with a king.
ew- well, I don't see what the big deal is, a room with 2 doubles will work equally well as a room with 1 king so they shouldn't mind.
uhuh, and if that is the case why are we having this conversation
me- alright, how about I make the reservation for rooms with 2 doubles, I can connect you with the front desk, they have software that can reassign rooms and see what they can't work out.
ew- fine
so we make the reservation
me- ok and could you please hold while I connect you to the front desk
*call hotel
hw- (hotel), this is hw speaking, how may I help you
me- can I have the front desk please
hw- this is the front desk, how may I help you.
me- this is smileyeagle from the macro reservations department, I have a guest on the line that would like to be guaranteed a specific room and I don't have the ability to assign room numbers, can I transfer the guest.
hw- sure, first which nights were they staying and which room did they want
me- they are checking in sunday, staying 10 nights, and wanted room 423.
hw- we don't have a room 423...
me- ...
hw- do you have EW on the line?
me- yeah, how did you know?
hw- every time we give her room 243 and every time she complains that she isn't getting her normal room until a bell person walks her to her room and shows her it is indeed her normal room, don't worry, I know how to handle her, what's her confirmation number
me- it's 6xxxxxxx
hw- thank you send her over
me- thank you *transfers call*

ok seriously lady, you just argued with me for like 5 minutes about a room that doesn't even exist.

2 if in person

ok, so at my night audit I check in a guest on an airline voucher... all goes well until...

me- oh look at the time, I have reports to run now
ew- damn you Delta for sending this person to me

so EW comes up to the desk
EW- why did you give me the worst room in the hotel?
me- I'm sorry, what?
ew- yeah, it's near the pool, close to an entrance, I have to walk halfway down the hall to get ice, and it only has a queen size bed.
umm, i thought those were all good things silly me
me- I'm sorry, but Delta reserved a room with queen non-smoking for you and that is the only unoccupied queen non-smoking.
ew- well then I want an upgrade, give me something away from the pool, away from an exit and closer to an ice machine so I can get ice easier.
me- well, I do have a room that would be away from the pool and the exit, but I don't have anything close to the ice machines... I would have to charge for the upgrade though.
ew- this is unheard of, I am a paying customer, why shouldn't I get a room that meets my needs.
ok, gloves off
me- first, no, you aren't a paying customer, delta is paying, and meets their needs, yup they need a place for you to sleep tonight while waiting for your flight tomorrow, and you do have a bed in your room, do you not? Is the bed broken? I didn't think so, housekeeping would have reported that. And as far as the free upgrade, I will only give free upgrades for 1 of 2 reasons, the first being that we are overbooked on a room type, which we aren't, we had exactly enough rooms with a queen size nonsmoking, or the guest was misquoted on rates and availability which niether you nor delta were. Now if you want that other room it will be an additional $10.
*ew just walks away.

OK seriously, you are getting the room for free and you are complaining... that asside I have never heard anyone complain about a poolside room before, or complain about being too far from the ice maker... most people bitch that they are too close and they can hear it... ok being near the exit I can kinda understand, but I look at it this way, if God forbid there is a fire you will be one of the first people out... do you know when I get to leave the hotel if there is a fire... not until after I get a guest list and pull the bucket so the firefighters will know which rooms they need to check for people. Oh did I mention that it can take up to 5 minutes to get a full guest list prepared... though in an emergency the room bucket will suffice but still should try for the full guest list. So no, you won't get my sympathy that you can get out of the building in less than 20 seconds.

[Gravekeeper]

<twitch> airline vouchers....the worst part is I may have been the one that booked the room on behalf of Delta. Though typically American Airlines and US Airways are the absolute worst offenders for stranding passengers at random with nothing but a voucher and a pat on the back for good luck.

But yes, one of my company's many faces is the one that finds and books hotels for stranded/canceled/bumped airline passengers. So it may have been our fault. I apologize. -.-

[tropicsgoddess]

The second EW complained about getting a free room because they wanted something CLOSER to the ice maker? I would not mind a free queen sized-non smoking AT ALL, as long as the room was clean. Time to bring out the !

[smileyeagle1021]

<twitch> airline vouchers....the worst part is I may have been the one that booked the room on behalf of Delta. Though typically American Airlines and US Airways are the absolute worst offenders for stranding passengers at random with nothing but a voucher and a pat on the back for good luck.

But yes, one of my company's many faces is the one that finds and books hotels for stranded/canceled/bumped airline passengers. So it may have been our fault. I apologize. -.-

two questions, first is I won't blame you for the EW, but did you happen to book any voucher rooms for Delta in SLC last night (out of curiosity) and second do you also do the call backs to the hotel to release the unused rooms that were being held on vouchers... in which case you've probably been the only person on my shift from cs.com (or anywhere else for that matter) that routinely calls at 2am.

The second EW complained about getting a free room because they wanted something CLOSER to the ice maker? I would not mind a free queen sized-non smoking AT ALL, as long as the room was clean. Time to bring out the !

and yes, he wanted closer to the ice maker because he needed a lot of ice... ok, for reference, he checked in at midnight 30... there is nowhere he could buy alcohol, i didn't see him purchase anything from the vending machines, and I didn't see him carrying anything in with him... what the hell is he using the ice for...

and what's truly sad in this, the guest who had every right to complain (the guest's before them had smoked in a non-smoking room and we didn't have any other rooms with 2 queens to move them to) were the nicest people ever, appreciated us offering to move them as soon as something opened up, had no problem with as a temporary fix us bringing up a fabreeze bottle to spray down the room... understood that we also would have rather not had the previous guests smoke in the room and that we were doing everything in our power to work with what was provided...

[Peppergirl]

*shudder*

Airline vouchers

*shudder*

I love when the EW who has just been handed one calls ME up and wants ME to deal with booking the hotels. God forbid they'd FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS PRINTED ON THE VOUCHER!!!!

*deep breath*

Sorry about that. Smiley, I can't even IMAGINE having to deal with them face-to-face. It's bad enough on the phone. Poor thing.

[RetailWorkhorse]

and yes, he wanted closer to the ice maker because he needed a lot of ice... ok, for reference, he checked in at midnight 30... there is nowhere he could buy alcohol, i didn't see him purchase anything from the vending machines, and I didn't see him carrying anything in with him... what the hell is he using the ice for...

He picked up a pretty little hooker-boy and he's filling the bathtub up with ice so he can drug the pretty little hooker-boy and steal his kidneys?

Just a thought.

[TheSnakeLady]

Probably the worst hotel experience I ever had was due to an airline voucher. After the airline kept us at the airport for 10 hours waiting for the plane to be ready, they finally admitted defeat and sent us to a hotel.

After getting to the hotel and looking forward to finally getting some sleep... the fire alarm goes off... We all file out of the hotel and spend about an hour standing around outside waiting before they let us back in. Apparently there was a bomb threat (Pre-9/11). The result was less sleep than before, plus the room service vouchers the airline gave were no good because room service was now closed. Ugh.

[CloserToSane]

*Rocks in a corner, no delayed flights, no delayed flights*

I hate delayed flights we've had 3 or four flight delays in, in the past month. "Hello this is Evilwithanamebadge from flight delay services." is the call guarranteed to make me cry.

However, that kind of a complaint... wow. Can I have the room if he doesn't want it?

You have to get a least 3 per group I think.

[BookstoreEscapee]

had no problem with as a temporary fix us bringing up a fabreeze bottle to spray down the room...

That stuff works pretty well. When I first moved into my apartment in PA, it had been empty (in other words, all closed up) for several weeks (in the summer) and the downstairs neighbor smoked. The carpet absorbed all the smoke and the place REEKED. Especially when it was warm out. Two days in a row, I started in the bedroom, and worked my way out to the living room spraying the floor, then started on the other side and worked my way to the stairs, on my way out to go to work. I pretty much emptied a whole bottle into that carpet but after the second day it the smell was gone.

[Jester]

My take on a few things.......

EW- yes, I'd like to reserve room 423 for check in on sunday staying 10 nights, and please say you know how to load the medical rate

Lady, you have already told me that you are a narcissistic self-important bitch by your tone. Just what makes you think I am going to have any motivation to do anything special for you, let alone be nice about it?

ew- well that just isn't acceptable, a king bed might have worked even if it wasn't 423, but 2 beds won't work, move someone from a room with king into 2 doubles.

ew- well, I don't see what the big deal is, a room with 2 doubles will work equally well as a room with 1 king so they shouldn't mind.

So for YOU, Miss Queen of Shebitch, two doubles won't work, but for the common folk, it is alright to force them out of the room they already have and into one with two doubles so that Your Highness can have the king? Maybe YOU shouldn't mind so much, you cantankerous tumor. When you are done stomping your feet and holding your breath till you turn blue, please do everyone a favor and go blow a rabid goat.

hw- do you have EW on the line?
me- yeah, how did you know?

They knew because you don't forget fuck whompers like this one. Ever. Feel for the hotel worker, they have to deal with this cheese baboon (thank you GK!) on a regular basis!

EW- why did you give me the worst room in the hotel?

Because we hate you. Seriously, dude, what kind of way is that to start a conversation, especially if you have any serious expectations of getting this person to help you? What, you think it's a conspiracy?

Well you're right. It is. We're all in on it. Hotel workers, servers, bartenders, retail personnel, flight attendants, customer service representatives, directory assistance operators....ALL of us hate you, and have conspired long and hard to make your life as miserable as you make everyone else's. We have gone out of our way to make sure you get the worst of everything, even if this means losing our job for being unprofessional, for it is far more important to us to see you punished than for us to actually do the jobs we are trained to do and give as good as service as we know how to everyone, no matter how much of a douche tool they may be.

In other words, sir, kindly go fuck yourself.

ew- yeah, it's near the pool, close to an entrance, I have to walk halfway down the hall to get ice, and it only has a queen size bed.

Whine, whine, whine. Okay, so it's not what you want. You ain't paying for it, Mr. Whiney Pants. Yeah, I know. You're mad at Delta for fucking you over. I don't blame you. I was in the same position a few years ago when US Air made me curse the unfriendly skies, and I got stranded in Ft. Lauderdale, while my luggage soared across the American skies towards Vegas, where I should have been heading myself. But the folks at the hotel were wonderful, bending over backwards to help me out, even though technically I wasn't a paying customer (except, naturally, at the bar). I had a place to sleep, eat, and drink, and it was far more comfortable than the fucking airport, so I didn't bitch about my accommodations, and whine like a spoiled petulant three year old that I wasn't getting everything that was MINE MINE MINE!

ew- well then I want an upgrade, give me something away from the pool, away from an exit and closer to an ice machine so I can get ice easier.

ew- this is unheard of, I am a paying customer, why shouldn't I get a room that meets my needs.

Here I could insert some witty snarky comment, but I shall show some restraint for once and merely quote the words of the wise Mr. Jagger and Mr. Richards:

"You can't always get what you want. But if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need..."

Ah, screw it. I can't keep silent. See, your NEEDS aren't to be near an ice machine, away from an exit and the pool, and with a bed other than a queen. Those are what you WANT. What you NEED is a place to sleep, which the airline provided, and is exactly what you have. So feel free to take this ice bucket, shove it completely down your throat, and choke on your own idiocy. Then, if you are still breathing, feel free to bend over, grab your ankles, look up, and blow it out your ass!

and yes, he wanted closer to the ice maker because he needed a lot of ice... ok, for reference, he checked in at midnight 30... there is nowhere he could buy alcohol, i didn't see him purchase anything from the vending machines, and I didn't see him carrying anything in with him... what the hell is he using the ice for...

He might have had medicine he needed to keep cold, he might have had a sore joint or an injury he needed to keep iced down, he might have liked to just chew on ice. Who knows? And who cares, considering what a douchebag he was!

[Evil Queen]

My hotel doesn't take airline vouchers. We're not near an airline. We have two others that are; one in North Houston and the other in SE Houston right next to the airports.

Sorry you had to deal with those asshats, Smiley.

[Dreamstalker]

typically American Airlines and US Airways are the absolute worst offenders for stranding passengers at random with nothing but a voucher and a pat on the back for good luck.

Or (at least in my case with American) not even a voucher. I was lucky to get a flight out the next day.

As far as the nonexistent room....I was thinking something excusable like dyslexia until she got mean.

[Bagboy]

The only time that I've ever been put into a motel by an airline, was in 2000. It was a BHM. The place was crawling with all kinds of insects. It was just plain nasty.

[Gravekeeper]

two questions, first is I won't blame you for the EW, but did you happen to book any voucher rooms for Delta in SLC last night (out of curiosity) and second do you also do the call backs to the hotel to release the unused rooms that were being held on vouchers... in which case you've probably been the only person on my shift from cs.com (or anywhere else for that matter) that routinely calls at 2am.

1) Possibly. Salt Lake City comes up to me every now and then. Though I mostly handle Vegas, Phoenix and Seattle. Hell, I could tell you based on the reservation number if the guy had one written on the voucher <cough>

2) I don't do those call backs. Our Toronto branch does.

Or (at least in my case with American) not even a voucher. I was lucky to get a flight out the next day.

American is terrible. Horrific even. But so is US Airways. Not a night goes by they don't strand someone somewhere that I end up having to try and find accommodations for. Usually at least an entire flight's worth of people at a time. By comparison the other airlines only have someone stuck once every week or two tops and usually its just someone that missed their connector or is stuck due to weather or something.

[LadyAndreca]

Heh. I've only been stranded once, and that was my own dumb fault for getting the day of my flight wrong. (My greatest blonde moment ever...I STILL feel so incredibly stupid for that one, and that happened eight years ago.) So here I am, trying to get home for Christmas on Dec 23 on standby tickets. I caught the last flight of the night out of NY to DC, and spent the night in the airport with a few other people who had overnight connections.

I didn't think anything of it. It was all my fault, right? I could just suck it up and deal.

So...Christmas Eve morning. First flight out is full, and they're already offering people upgrades to first class if they give up their seats on the second flight. I started to worry I wouldn't make it home at all, so I got in line to talk to the woman at the desk to see what my options were. It was still all my fault and she looked horribly hassled, so I kept it simple and polite, just saying I'd come in on standby tickets the night before and asking what my chances were of getting a flight that day.

She got this look on her face and got two questions out: "Weren't you offered a hotel?" "Uh...no?" and "How old are you?!" "Nineteen?" (I looked about 16 at the time.) I'm not quite sure what happened next, but there was something about me being her son's age and her wanting me to get home for Christmas, and then I was sitting on that second flight in first class.

Um...not that that really has anything to do with the original post except for me being sucky in my complete lack of preparedness. And that I would have loved a hotel voucher (though I met some cool people that night), so that one guy who was whining had no real right to complain.