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As a preface, I work at a Automotive shop in Kent, WA. I mainly work as maintenance but I also do Customer 'support' and other misc things.
Since, I'm new to SC, I'm going to break open some of my pet peeves.
1.)Hello Customer. I can not make change for you. See, our cash drawer has a key on it, and since no one is coming in to pay their bill today and/or pick up a car...I don't have a key. Yeah, see, I don't get a key, cause I don't want a key.
2.)No, I cannot give the keys to your car without you paying for it. Crazy, right?
3.)No, I can NOT open the gates to the other shops for you. Yeah, I know. I got Master Keys, no, I won't do it.
4.)You want some free 10W-30? Yeah, here's the phone number for AutoZone...go ask them.
5.)No, I won't let you use our flywheel grinder for free.
6.)No, you may NOT just strut into our shop through a garage door and try to get free DIY help from our mechanics. I'll kick you out the same way you came back in, or drag you into the lobby.
7.)No, you may not use our bathroom. You have too many condoms hanging from you (Hellooooo prostitute!)
8.)No, we don't have gasoline, and if we did, it wouldn't be free.
9.)(This one is just weird) No, you may not have our employee's SSNs.
10.) Yes, you must sign on the last line, to indemnify us and give us a express mechanic lien. No, this is not 'optional'.
11.) No, we do not loan tools and/or modify emission controls.
Now, I also goto school to learn to be a Automotive Technician.
Here's my favorites... :-D
1.)Sir/Ma'am, if you lean over the hood with me anymore....I won't be able to turn this wrench without hitting you.
2.)Yes, your oil filter comes off that way.
3.)No, you can not take off your oil plug with an torch.
4.)I would not advise you to be smoking while removing a gasoline tank.
5.)Yes, sir. We must remove your oil filter to do a oil change.
6.)Sir, it's only $17.79 for 5 quarts of 10W-30 and an oil filter for your vehicle. We're cheaper and quicker then Jiffy Lube.
7.)No sir, we do not condone putting diesel in a gasoline engine. (WHY DO PEOPLE THINK THIS WORKS?! Or vice-versa?)
8.)When was the last time you had a oil change/ATF change? (Always met with a stammering “Uhh...” if oil sticker is missing from left hand corner of windshield.)
9.)Yeah, I know I'm wearing shorts, and I'm half-way hanging into your engine to get that pesky bolt/sensor/wire clip/misc item in. Please, don't talk to me. I know this looks easy...it's hard. Hush.
10.)Please, FOR MY SANITY, do not walk under hoists that have cars on them that are raised. I don't do it, and you shouldn't either. In fact, WHY ARE YOU FOLLOWING ME LIKE A LOST PUPPY?!
As a last note, yes. You may have heard from some of my fellow students, since you too, are a student here....that I am indeed a gay student. I know, this might surprise you since I'm covered shoulder to finger tip in grease/oil/misc items from cars...and have no problems digging right in. This might surprise you, yeah...I'll chuckle with you. No, this does not open “question time”, about gay relationships. Shoo.
Man, now I feel better.
Since, I'm new to SC, I'm going to break open some of my pet peeves.
1.)Hello Customer. I can not make change for you. See, our cash drawer has a key on it, and since no one is coming in to pay their bill today and/or pick up a car...I don't have a key. Yeah, see, I don't get a key, cause I don't want a key.
2.)No, I cannot give the keys to your car without you paying for it. Crazy, right?
3.)No, I can NOT open the gates to the other shops for you. Yeah, I know. I got Master Keys, no, I won't do it.
4.)You want some free 10W-30? Yeah, here's the phone number for AutoZone...go ask them.
5.)No, I won't let you use our flywheel grinder for free.
6.)No, you may NOT just strut into our shop through a garage door and try to get free DIY help from our mechanics. I'll kick you out the same way you came back in, or drag you into the lobby.
7.)No, you may not use our bathroom. You have too many condoms hanging from you (Hellooooo prostitute!)
8.)No, we don't have gasoline, and if we did, it wouldn't be free.
9.)(This one is just weird) No, you may not have our employee's SSNs.
10.) Yes, you must sign on the last line, to indemnify us and give us a express mechanic lien. No, this is not 'optional'.
11.) No, we do not loan tools and/or modify emission controls.
Now, I also goto school to learn to be a Automotive Technician.
Here's my favorites... :-D
1.)Sir/Ma'am, if you lean over the hood with me anymore....I won't be able to turn this wrench without hitting you.
2.)Yes, your oil filter comes off that way.
3.)No, you can not take off your oil plug with an torch.
4.)I would not advise you to be smoking while removing a gasoline tank.
5.)Yes, sir. We must remove your oil filter to do a oil change.
6.)Sir, it's only $17.79 for 5 quarts of 10W-30 and an oil filter for your vehicle. We're cheaper and quicker then Jiffy Lube.
7.)No sir, we do not condone putting diesel in a gasoline engine. (WHY DO PEOPLE THINK THIS WORKS?! Or vice-versa?)
8.)When was the last time you had a oil change/ATF change? (Always met with a stammering “Uhh...” if oil sticker is missing from left hand corner of windshield.)
9.)Yeah, I know I'm wearing shorts, and I'm half-way hanging into your engine to get that pesky bolt/sensor/wire clip/misc item in. Please, don't talk to me. I know this looks easy...it's hard. Hush.
10.)Please, FOR MY SANITY, do not walk under hoists that have cars on them that are raised. I don't do it, and you shouldn't either. In fact, WHY ARE YOU FOLLOWING ME LIKE A LOST PUPPY?!
As a last note, yes. You may have heard from some of my fellow students, since you too, are a student here....that I am indeed a gay student. I know, this might surprise you since I'm covered shoulder to finger tip in grease/oil/misc items from cars...and have no problems digging right in. This might surprise you, yeah...I'll chuckle with you. No, this does not open “question time”, about gay relationships. Shoo.
Man, now I feel better.
I love/hate stereotypes like that. Love, because I love cutting people down a peg or two about their misconceptions. Hate, because it's really, really, really annoying after a while.
!
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