Phone woes, or, why I hate people who have nothing better to do (longish)

[depechemodefan]

A phone call to the library on Sat:

Me: (usual spiel)
SC: Hi, I need to look at a list of all your videos and DVDs on the internet.
Me: (about to answer)
SC:The Willow library says to call you, they said I can't go there anymore, and I need a list of videos you have.
Me: we don't have have any videos, just DVDS
SC: No?
Me: No.
Now I hear dead silence. Some of the time, when I give a one-word answer (yes, should have said "yes m'am or said a multi-sylable word) the person doesn't hear me so...
Me: Hello? Hello? (dead silence) are you still there?
SC: *snottily and agressively *Yes I heard you! I was processing what you said! And then you say, "Hello, hello, are you there!" *hangs up phone*

Me, to myself: ok...Also, I'm kind of stuck on how she said the Willow library told them they couldn't check out any more videos and DVDs from them. If it applies to one library it should apply to all. So did they walk off with DVDs, owe fines?

Another call took 20 min. Most calls should take no longer than 5, though since we are suppose to be service oriented, we should let the people take as much time as they want.

SC: Hi, I'm Georgia Peach, but I didn't change my name on my card and it's still Apple. The Oak library told me to call you. I need some books. I need books on Public Health. I need "Math the easy way...uh, Math the easier way....Math for dummies.
Me: Excuse me, was it "Math the easy way" or "Math the easier way"?
SC: Uh, "Math the easy way." And "Math for dummies". Then I need "Social Sciences, 3rd ed., by Andrew McCarthy, uh, and Introduction. I need also.
Me: Excuse me, what was the title again?
SC: Introduction to Social Science, 3rd edtion, by Andrew McCarthy
(Sidenote by me: we usually don't carry textbooks, since people check them out and don't return them for a whole semester. Also, they are very expensive.
SC: (continuing) and I need "Introduction to Missing adjectives, 10ed, by John Vain.
Me: (spending a great deal of time looking up this stuff). Ok, there are some books on public health. Are you going to pick them up here or do you want us to send them to another library?
SC: Can you send it to Oak library?
(note: I notice a bunch of books were already at the Oak library. Most of the time a library will get a patron to call us if we have a book, so we can send it over. Obviously, Oak didn't want to bother with her)
Me: Ok, give me your last name and library card number (by now I forgotten her last name), the last name you said is on your card.
SC: It's Georgia Apple. g-e-o-r-g-i-a A-p-p-l-e
Me: Ok, and your card number?
SC: It's Apple! APPPLE!
Me: I was asking for your card number.
SC: *gives me the number*
Me: ok, the Oak library already has 2 of the books you want. We don't have those textbooks you requested.
SC: Which books?
Me: *I give her the titles*
SC: Ok, now I need some business books.
(note: 20 minutes have passed! That is a lot of time to spend on a call.)
Me: Can you please call back? Or else call the Oak library, they can get their business books ready for you.
SC: They told me to talk to you *hangs up*

[depechemodefan]

Another phone story:

Woman calls asking some questions, and one is how to get into the Summer Reading programs log to add her books. I tell her and she tells me she's at home and it's not working. I try to load the page (and it's taking forever) and she starts singing softly. I think "Jesus" is mentioned. She then starts again about how she was trying to add some books on the log. The page still is trying to load so I refresh it. She's singing again. I tell her I need to put her on hold, and she says ok. I hate when people sing on the phone. I really don't like when people ask a question, and as you look up an answer, they ask another question. But why can't these people realize that singing is so distracting?

[mischugenah]

.... singing on the phone? I'm a pretty compulsive singer, I've been told that being around me is like living in a musical, but singing on the phone? Nope, haven't done that yet, other than "Happy Birthday".
Dunno, maybe she was singing to a baby or something.

[LibraryLady]

Dear Depechemodefan, I can feel your pain. We used to have a few like that. Every 6 months or so they'd call to find out if we had enough new in their field of interest to warrant a trip to the library.

Now that our complete catalog is on line we don't get much of that but there's still the occasional meanderthal who enjoys nothing better than bending a Librarian's ear for as long as he can get away with it.

For some reason, these are always men. Also, for some reason their favorite time to call was about 15 minutes before closing.

[depechemodefan]

Yeah, we have some regulars who call a lot and we wish they would get friends. Or find a hobby.

One guy calls almost everyday asking us to look in Yahoo!Finance for the top stories of the day.

Another guy stutters, which isn't too bad in itself, it's just that he is also unintelligible. He's the one who asks for definitions (wha'ts a hormone? What's an orgasm?) and bible questions. Today I got someting that took forever for me to get. I understand when he said "where in the bible does it say..." but after that, there's the stuttering, him referring me to as "sister" (guys he will call "brother") and repeating himself (note, I can't replicate exactly his stuttering; he stutters more than what I can relay):

him:Where in the bible is says, two-two men, and they go and they-they *unintelligible* and it says your reward is in heaven.
Me: So you want to know where in the bible it says that you get your reward in heaven?( note, I sort of know what he is saying)
him: no, no, my sister. Two guys go, and (something unintelligible) and and a homeless person (something unintelligible) and one guy-gu-guy gives him a coat and (unintelligible) and your reward is in heaven.
Me: ok, there are two guys, one gives a coat to a homeless person, and he tells someone and Jesus says that the person who gave the coat will get his reward, and the other his reward in heaven.
him: no, one man gives the homeless man (unintelligible) grocery store (unintelligible) and t he other man (unintelligible) and where in the bible does it say that you will get your reward in heaven.
Me: ok, one man gives the homeless man food, and so does the other man. the first man tells people about it and the second man tells no one about it so the second man will get his reward in heaven.
him: yeah, my sister.

Thank goodness for concordences online. I type in "reward in heaven" and get a passage from Matthew 6:1, which I read to him.
him: ok. Now the next question.
me: I'm sorry, our time ran out. If you have another question will you please call back?
him: ok, ok, th-thanks my sister.

Another guy can't bother with a question. It usually begins about what he did today, and people he talked to today and some how he asks a question in such a round about way you know he didn't have a question when he called, and was making up one as he talked to us on the phone. We spend between 10-20 min. on the phone with him. Most of my co-workers allow him to talk, since they don't have to do anything besides listen for 10 min. as he rambles on and tries to form a question. I see tons of co-workers though how roll their eyes, roll their hands (meaning *faster*), look like they want to choke him. Ugh, he is such a waste of time.

also, the singing. It was distracting, though I hate it when my co-workers start singing while they work. It's distracting. But it's probably my quirk,

[looney_librarian]

I understand completely. We have at least one of those people at our library. She thinks the reference desk is her own private search engine. She says she's retired, that she doesn't have a computer, etc. I was actually told by my supervisor that if she ever calls no matter if I'm the only one in the library to say that I'm busy and she'll have to call back in the morning.