Take it up with your friend! Not me!

[customersruinmylife]

We had a large group of guys in the bar, about twenty of them all sat together, drinking, not eating.

Me: Long suffering barman
SM: Stupid Man
SMF: Stupid Man's Friend

SM: Excuse me, but I ordered a burger about 40 minutes ago, and it hasn't arrived.
Me: OK, do you have your reciept?
SM: Uhh, it's at my table.

I walk over with him. He hands me an extremelly tatty receipt. I also look at the table, and see an empty plate that had the remains of a burger on it.

Me: Did anyone else at your table order any food?
SM: Uhhhh....uhhhh, guys, did anyone order a burger?

Almost all of them shook their heads.

Me: OK, is there a receipt for that burger there?
SM: What burger?
Me: That burger.
SM: Oh, that was my friends.
Me: Can I see the receipt?
SMF: Huhhh, huuhh, huuhh (laughs Bevis and Butthead style)
Me: Well?
SMF: Huhh, huhh, huhh, I ate your burger.
SM: WHAT?
SMF: Well you were in the bathroom and they came over with it. So I ate it. Huhh, huhh, huhh.

Stupid Man looks at me with huge puppy dog eyes.

Me: Well I'm afraid your going to have to pay for that burger.
SMF/SM: WHAT??
Me: I'm not bringing out a new burger until that one is paid for.
SM: Come on! What's a fiver between friends? Why can't YOU pay for it.
Me: I am not paying for something your friend stole!
SM: I want my burger!
Me: Well make him pay for it! There are about twenty of you! What's a fiver "between friends"?
SMF: I'm not paying for it.
Me: Then no burger!

I walked away. I felt a bit bad for the poor guy who had lost his burger, but I don't see why he was taking it out on me.

About five minutes later, Stupid Mans Friend walks up to the bar, looking quite sheepish.

SMF: Can I pay for my friends burger?

A co-worker said they threatened to beat him if he didn't pay for it.

[MoxisPilot]

...This is what happens when siblings copulate.

[Samaliel]

Aw, come on. Some people with a perfectly legitimate family tree (as opposed to some strange mangled family rhizome) can be just as stupid.

[protege]

...This is what happens when siblings copulate.

I don't think it's a "family tree not forking" problem...but rather a "had too many pints of booze" problem

[Plaidman]

Wait, how could he not know his friend ate his burger?

Stupid people.

[Bloodsoul]

A1 Steaksauce. Yeah, it's that important.

[Apathy]

I would have beaten that friend as well. That's not cool at all. Especially if he wasn't planning on paying for it. Screw that.

[dithers66]

That story's a classic.

[Evil Queen]

Yeah, not cool man. Not cool.

You can take your buddy's girl, but never mess with his burger!

[Bright_Star]

He shouldn't have gone to the bathroom with those losers nearby.

[tropicsgoddess]

Not cool at all.

[aurelemsrealm]

Messing with the food is a good way to get stabbed with a fork. Ask my sister about that one. Ah, childhood memories.....

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

If somebody ate my burger at my favorite watering hole, well....after I got done with them they'd have no recollection of doing so. And probably also would have to be hooked up to machines to pee and poo for the rest of their life.

Seriously, this place's burgers are TO DIE FOR. Dripping in butter and ketchup and pickles and other tasty things, and on a nice toasty bun....awesome for sopping up your beer.

[depechemodefan]

I have to say customersruinmylife that I'm glad it worked out where the guy confessed (though really, he knew there was no receipt for the burger he claimed was his). Most SCs would still act like you still owe them. Oh, and "what is a fiver between friends." bunch of assholes thinking that five means nothing to you but a lot to them.

[Lingering Grin]

I wouldn't have even asked the guy to pay for my burger... I woulda just knocked him in the teeth, taken his wallet, taken $10 Dollars, and payed for both burgers. The one that he ate, plus the one I'd have to buy to replace it