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Dear Mr Non Customer

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  • Dear Mr Non Customer

    Not only do we have a banned list of people we refuse to deal with at my business, but you are the reason it exists in the first place.

    To date our dealings with you have resulted in a negative fiscal return and all the staff here hate you. Please do not call us and demand we accomodate your requests thereby sacraficing the high level of service we provide to customers who spend money and we actually like.

    If you make rude aburpt phone calls to my staff, I will continue to make sarcastic phone calls to you restating our position.

    Kind regards

    Portia911
    Yes. I know my typing sucks but I have a large orange cat sitting on my keyboard and a small disturbed dog trying to sniff his butt

  • #2
    Details, please!

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    • #3
      oh yes, we must hear the details about how he created the list of banned customers
      If you wish to find meaning, listen to the music not the song

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      • #4
        *gets a bowl of popcorn to pass around and pillows to lay on* Storytime!

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        • #5
          Ditto DETAILS!!

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          • #6
            Sorry, it would totally blow my cover
            Yes. I know my typing sucks but I have a large orange cat sitting on my keyboard and a small disturbed dog trying to sniff his butt

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            • #7
              *bring's the booze*

              Don't care, now SPILL! It's not fair to elude to something and not give the juicy details!
              Ridiculous 2009 Predictions: Evil Queen will beat Martha Stewart to death with a muffin pan. All hail Evil Queen! (Some things don't need elaboration.....) -- Jester

              Ridiculous 2010 Predictions: Evil Queen, after escaping prison for last years prediction, goes out and waffle irons Rachel Ray to death. -- SG15Z

              Ridiculous 2011 Prediction: Evil Queen will beat Gordon Ramsay over the head with a cast-iron skillet. -- FireHeart

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              • #8
                Me too!!! Don't leave us hanging!

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                • #9
                  OK. To clarify lets just say it's a winery with a cellar door that does tastings and we quite often get groups of up to 60 people coming through on prearranged tours on top of normal customers who come in to purchase from our gourmet food section. We operate in the higher end of the market and our customers tend to be very lovely and pleasant people.

                  Mr Non customer is a tour operator who we very rarely deal with. I had never actually met him before but knew of him so I was a bit suprised when he rang to book in a group of 45 as we were not on his normal route. but that's cool. Worked out the time and date and was very clear he could only bring a group that size in after 2.30 pm when it is out of our peak time plus I'd need to get my employee to come in specially and give me a hand and it was the best time for her too. So 2.30pm it is then.

                  On the day I get a phone call at 11am. It's Mr Arse Goblin ringing to see if he can come earlier. Ie right now. I say no, our arrangement was 2.30 I have another group here at the moment and my employee won't be here till 2.30 to help. Grumbling moaning bitchy down the phone at me but he agreed. So imagine my suprise when 15 minutes later a coach pulls into the car park. Mr Arse Goblin the tour opertor comes in does'nt even introduce himself and starts demanding I take the tour right now. I relent realising I can't make them sit on the bus. So out he goes and come back with 45 drunk yelling yahooing white trash imbreds who rampage through our cellar door and shop downing as many free tastings as they can, basically taking the piss and being fucking rude on top of it while Mr Arse Goblin goes and sits on the bus insttead of trying to keep them under control.

                  Having had a total gutsful of these cretins who have no intention of buying anything I end up throwing them all out. Then he comes back in and bitches that they've only been here 10 minutes and he had 40 minutes for the stop on his intinary at which point I think I might have said something along the lines of 'Get fucked' and banned him.

                  As it turns out he knew what these fuck heads would be like and that is why he took them to all the places he does'nt normally go because he knew he would never be allowed back.
                  Yes. I know my typing sucks but I have a large orange cat sitting on my keyboard and a small disturbed dog trying to sniff his butt

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                  • #10
                    part deux

                    We get super mad busy at christmas with people buying gifts. We don't do any groups in the 2 weeks before xmas as they usually spend SFA and our regular customers expect a high level of service. I will not sacrifice that for a bunch of tyre kickers I'll never see again.

                    So Mr Arse goblin rings up (without saying who he is) 2 days before xmas when we are bat shit mental busy and informs one of my girls he is bringing a group of 20 in in around 15 minutes. She checks with me to see if it is Ok and I'm like 'ask him if they are tasting or buying', his reply to her is 'tasting', so she says 'No, we can't accomodate you'. At which point he starts going demented down the phone at her and hangs up. She is quite upset and when I asked her who it was she said he did'nt say. I dial the number on the caller display and he answers the phone and won't tell me who I am talking to even though I've guessed and inform him that if he ever rings up and talks to one of my staff like that again I'll kick his arse.
                    Yes. I know my typing sucks but I have a large orange cat sitting on my keyboard and a small disturbed dog trying to sniff his butt

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                    • #11
                      OMG. That is absolutely diabolical behavior! Is there a higher authority you could complain to about Mr Arse Goblin? Get him in a heapload of trouble? You should not have had to put up with that crap, and he should get far worse than a ban.

                      Like this:

                      And send his rotten guests through, too! It's been a dry month, I'm sure the plants could use some nice moist fertilizer!
                      I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
                      My LiveJournal
                      A page we can all agree with!

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                      • #12
                        Wow.

                        And here I thought you worked at a feed store. Must have been the post about the hay.

                        Love the "Arse Goblin" title.
                        Ridiculous 2009 Predictions: Evil Queen will beat Martha Stewart to death with a muffin pan. All hail Evil Queen! (Some things don't need elaboration.....) -- Jester

                        Ridiculous 2010 Predictions: Evil Queen, after escaping prison for last years prediction, goes out and waffle irons Rachel Ray to death. -- SG15Z

                        Ridiculous 2011 Prediction: Evil Queen will beat Gordon Ramsay over the head with a cast-iron skillet. -- FireHeart

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                        • #13
                          Quoth XCashier View Post
                          OMG. That is absolutely diabolical behavior! Is there a higher authority you could complain to about Mr Arse Goblin? Get him in a heapload of trouble? You should not have had to put up with that crap, and he should get far worse than a ban.

                          Like this:

                          And send his rotten guests through, too! It's been a dry month, I'm sure the plants could use some nice moist fertilizer!
                          Ha! I am the higher authority!
                          Yes. I know my typing sucks but I have a large orange cat sitting on my keyboard and a small disturbed dog trying to sniff his butt

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                          • #14
                            he ment ga's boss not yours

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                            • #15
                              Coming out of lurk mode to add my own story of wine tour aggravation.

                              Being a former winery worker, I can empathize. The winery I worked at (family owned) eventually banned all tour buses. We found that 90% never bought anything and expected to get a taste of everything, including our older(15+ years) reds. And while I'm happy to give a person a tasting even if I know they aren't buying anything. 40-60 doing that gives me the urge to just open a tank up and flood them out!

                              I think the straw that broke the camel's back for my father was one particular tour group. They arrived an hour later than they said, had more people than they said, and got off the bus drunk. Our tasting room is small, and we told them when arranging the tour we'd have to take them in groups of 20, which the people waiting grumbled and moaned about. After they left, I went outside on a break and found cigarette butts everywhere and even found beer cans in the flower planters. Needless to say they didn't buy anything. Plus, at the end of the day I found we were missing about 15 of our printed tasting glasses, when the most I usually have gone is 1-2.

                              Best part though was that they were employees of a local city that had arranged this for them. Although since my Dad was friends with the head of their department, the letter he sent was rather fun. As was the response from the head, who sent a letter of apology to us. Still, more trouble than it was worth.

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