In Which I Return To Textbook Hell (Once again, uber long!!)

[lupo pazzesco]

So, I've recently returned from vacation. (best month ever!!) and once more find myself dealing with all the college students, their parents, and our vendors, and soon realized I'd nearly forgotten how stupid and sucky people could be regarding textbooks. Silly, silly, me. Here are a few gems from today...

This is the suck that doesn't end...yes it goes on and on my friend...
Ok, bit of background. In the freshmen level english classes, the books are sold as a shrink wrapped package with all sorts of spiffy software that teaches you useful things like what a comma is and where it goes, or how to use punctuation and quotation marks. (Seriously. People don't know this!! I guess I'm not too surprised) Our history department does packages as well, one per each professor, (and given there are anywhere from 10 to 17 different sections, that's a lot of packages)

Well, we had an incoming freshmen girl and her mom come in wanting to purchase an english package and a history package. One CW initially helped her find what she needed, and then they began to dissect the packages, and asked if they could unwrap them. Unfortunately no. It's shrinkwrapped by the publisher with a seal that says if unwrapped, you're screwed, basically. Thank you publishers... Now, I'm making phone calls while I'm keeping an eye on the events unfolding, my part comes later.

DS: Dumb student
DSM: Dumb Student's mom
Me: poor 'lil textbook monkey
CW: Coworker

DS: Well, what comes in the package.
CW <rattles off the list of components>
DSM: How do we know this is the same package as the one being sold at Other Campus Bookstore
CW: Because we received the same information they did, and we ordered the same.
DS: But they have it for $20 more than you sell it for here! Something's missing in yours, we need to open it to check.
CW: <Who's getting a little peeved at this point, they'd been arguing for almost a half hour> Ma'am, I can't let you do that. I'm sorry, but the package has to be sealed or it can't be sold.
DSM: That's stupid. How do we know you aren't ripping us off?
CW: You can always wait until classes start, and check with your professor to see which components you need and see if they come in the package.
DS: But you won't let us check the package!
DSM: Call Other Store! THEY'LL let us look in the packages!
CW: You're welcome to compare, ma'am. <Remember how they're $20 more...?>
DS: Give us the number!
CW: <Gives them our competitor's number and DS whips out her cell phone>
DS: <After fifteen minutes of harassing the other store clerk over the phone.> We're going over there to get the right packages. Hold these for us just in case.
CW: I can only hold them until close of business today, since classes are starting soon. We can't have holds any longer than that, store policy.
DSM: Then hold them and we'll be back!

So, the two leave, and CW goes to take a much needed break. I'm making my phone calls and in between, the phone rings and I answer. Guess who?!?!?

Me: Thank you for calling My Store, this is Lupo, how can I help you?
DS: I was just there for an English and history package, and I wanted to see if you could open them and let me know if they're the right books.
Me: <BIG internal sigh> Ma'am, I'm sorry, but I can't open shrinkwrapped packages.
DS: Well, then how do I know I have the right history package?! Other Store won't let me do it either! <No...REALLY? What a surprise...>
Me: Each package is sealed at the publishers with the professor's name, section number and term on the front of the first book, ma'am.
DS: ... oh...well, how much is it?
Me: $XXX
DS: But it's $40 more over here! What's wrong with your package?!
Me: <Nothing, except we don't mark prices up by $75%!!!> Nothing is missing, ma'am we verified the information with the history department before we placed the order. This is what your professor wanted.
DS: Fine! We'll be back to pick them up.
Me: Thank you for calling us, have a great day.

By this point, I'm wondering how I can foist this wonderful DS on an unsuspecting new hire, but alas! I'm the only one manning the textbook counter, so no such luck. And in they come again for Act III scene i.

DS: I have a hold under Dumb Student! Get my books!
Me: <Smiles vaguely, lest I say something impolite and nods, going back to get the books> Here you are, one English package, and one History package. If you're ready to check out, they can help you at the registers. <Pleasegopleasegopleasego!!!>
DSM: You can just help us here.
Me: <!@#$#@!> I'm sorry, ma'am, but I have no way of processing a payment at this counter. All of the registers are at the front of the store.
DSM: There's a line there. You have no line here.
Me: Because I can't accept payments. <well, I COULD, but you'd still owe money for the books!!>
Lather, Rinse, Repeat, Repeat, Repeat, RE-FUCKING-PEAT until they finally go on their merry way, check out and leave! (THANK YOU JEEBUS!!!!!!!!)

And then....an hour later...the phone rings...

Me: Thank you for calling My Store, this is Lupo, how can I help you?
DS: Hi I was just in there a while ago to purchase some books.
Me: <Wait...I recognize this voi--SWEET FARKIN' FRUIT LOOPS, NNNNOOOOOOO!!> Yes ma'am, and how can I help you.
DS: Well, at Other Store, they say they want the X edition for the English package. Is the edition you sold me the X edition.
Me: Yes, ma'am that's what the professor requested, we confirmed and ordered the X edition.
DS: and you're sure it's the X edition being used this fall term.
Me: Yes, ma'am, we matched up the information for you before your purchase and that is the request your professor has on file.
DS: Good, I'd HATE to have to come back in there.
Me: <I'd hate it too!!!!> I understand, ma'am. Is there anything else I can help you with today?
DS: Yes, I just want to make sure I have the correct history package for professor A.
Me: Ok, not a problem ma'am, can you turn the package over until you can see the cover of the small reader on the front?
DS: Yes, I can.
Me: Wonderful, do me a favor, and tell me what it says on the front, so I can type it in me computer.
DS: It says Professor A...Fall 2008...section 45678.... <Enter the awkward silence, and then.> Oh, I see...
Me: <In that ever wonderful cheery CSR voice> And is there anything else I can help you with today?
DS: No. <Click>
Me: <To dead air> Thank all the gods in the heavens!!!



That was just ONE incident today, there were a few more. But this is getting entirely too long, so I shall continue it in part 2 (And 3 if necessary)

[Andrew B.]

Sucre Merde! (I don't know how to do accent marks). What is up with these people?

[Hyndis]

Wait...kids these days have prepacked, pre-assigned books for the classes they're taking? In college? With their mommies doing all the work for them?!

[Chanlin]

Questions like this are exactly why I generally don't purchase my books until after the first day of class unless its blindingly obvious a change won't be made. I mean its fairly obvious for a class like Psych 1010 that the book listed for the course probably isn't going to change for the next 15 to 20 years or so. But for a specialized course like Reading Drama (aka English 2015) then yes there is a good chance that a last minute change or two might be made.

[lupo pazzesco]

Part 2!!

What do you mean I can't have my way! (Language warning!)
Had an SC come in to do a buyback for some books. now, realize, classes for fall start in two weeks, and this einstein was bringing books back that were years out of date, or that we already had met our required inventory on. She wasn't getting much of anything back, but we still offered her, I THINK $85 for out of date books bought 3 years ago, that weren't being used and just going back to our wholesale warehouse. All hell broke loose after I gave her her total.

Me: All right, it looks like I can take these three books back for $85.
SC: $85! but I paid over $200 for them! <Insert random whining about the unfairness of it all>
Me: <Resisting the urge to give a lecture on depreciation of value> I'm sorry, ma'am, but I can only offer you $85. They aren't being used next semester, so they are only going back to our warehouse.
SC: You stupid WHORE! <SAY WHAT NOW?!> You WILL give me what I paid for them! That's how a fucking buyback works!!
Me: Uh...no...and I'm going to have to ask you to watch your language, please.
SC: I'll say whatever I fucking please! You're just a racist white whore! You can't STEAL MY BOOKS for no $85 when I paid $200 for them!!
Me: Ma'am, I have no control over the pricing, I'm sorry. <And while I have your driver's license in my hands, bet your ass I'm writing down all your contact info, so you can be put on our "special buyback list"...>
SC: <Insert generic slew of SC insults and cussing, ending with:> No FUCKING WAY am I letting you steal my books! <Yanks said books across the counter> Now give me my fucking ID!
Me: <Passes her license over, only to have her yank it out of my hand so fast the bitch CUTS me with her card! I have the bandaid on my finger to prove it!>
SC: Serves you right, bitch! <Storms out>

At this point, I calmly grab a paper towel to wrap around my bleeding finger, pass the manager who had come out, after being warned by a CW, only to catch the tail end of the exchange, and go to the back room where the first aid kit is. I even manage to calmly bandage my finger. I then turn to CW who followed me to the back room, and the manager with him and asked.

"Have I mentioned how much I missed dealing with the anal munching, fungus fucking, halfwitted bastard children of incestuous goats trying to buy books they're only going to end up using to smoke drugs or smear with their own feces in a drunken display of postmodern artistic expression?"

After about 30 seconds of silence my manager dies laughing, and my CW grins, telling me, "Aw, Lupo. We missed you, too!!"

Oh yeah, it's good to be back...

[depechemodefan]

I think the only times my mom stepped on the campus with me was when we went to concerts and for my graduation ceremony.

Wow, that last girl is a piece of work.

[lupo pazzesco]

I never really understood parents going everywhere with their kids in college either. I thought it was just me, as the minority, though. I mean, I'd say 7 out of every 1 students in our store have a parent with them to buy them their books, or to argue over the prices for them.

I've been putting myself through school since day one, going into debt up to my eyeballs. But I assumed I was the only one who saw it that way, since my family is too poor to help me out. What IS with the need for parents to help you buy books, choose announcements, pick school supplies, etc? All I know is it means there's 2 people to complain over 1 transaction instead of 1. Oh freaking joy.

[hinakiba777]

My family helps me move-in to residence every year. So since my father is there anyway, I get him to go with me to the BIG university bookstore. See I go to one school, but it's affiliated with BIG university. BIG university's bookstore is usually crowded to hell on that day before classes, which is when i move-in. So we run in together, split the classes, and grab my books.

No one gets there reading lists until the first day. But I've had a few courses where we've started on Day one. So I like having my stuff on with me then.

However, I have met people incapable of buying there own books. My Sociology professor once added a small reader that we had to get from the copy shop. This girl I knew freaked out. Her parents were in Vancouver. The book was only available at our bookstore so it couldn't be bought in BC and mailed to us. Seriously, she wanted to have a $5.00 book shipped cross country rather than go to the Copy Shop.

...Am I a bad kid because my Dad helps me with my back to school shopping?

[sixums]

I never really understood parents going everywhere with their kids in college either. I thought it was just me, as the minority, though. I mean, I'd say 7 out of every 1 students in our store have a parent with them to buy them their books, or to argue over the prices for them.

I've been putting myself through school since day one, going into debt up to my eyeballs. But I assumed I was the only one who saw it that way, since my family is too poor to help me out. What IS with the need for parents to help you buy books, choose announcements, pick school supplies, etc? All I know is it means there's 2 people to complain over 1 transaction instead of 1. Oh freaking joy.

I'm actually insanely lucky. My parents have always said that they intended to put their 2 children through undergraduate college without any student loans or debts of any kind. My brother graduated 2 years ago and moved to Boston without any debt, and so far I am lined up to do the same. I am SO freaking grateful to them. They are saving me from a lifetime of pain. We are so lucky to be in a position to do it, and if I ever have kids, I make it my mission to do the same if they go to school.

My parents help me move in every year, and go out to help me buy things, because I like having their input. I admit it, it was very stressful on me my freshman year because all 3 of us were so insanely nervous. Maybe we took it out on someone. I didn't mean it. A lot of these kids have never been away from their parents or had to deal with their own money before, so they have to have their hands held by their parents. And many parents are absolutely crazy, so they need to control everything before they let their babies go.

We're not all bad, us kids who have their parents help. I swear.

[lupo pazzesco]

...Am I a bad kid because my Dad helps me with my back to school shopping?

Nonononono!! I didn't mean to imply that at ALL. (Bad Lupo, posting after your bedtime when you don't make sense!!)

We're not all bad, us kids who have their parents help. I swear.

I know that all kids who have their families help aren't all bad. I'm talking about those whose parents are with them constantly every step of the way who only exist, so I've observed, to increase the suck factor in the shopping experience. I've had one parent specifically tell their child within earshot of me "Don't believe her, ask for a manager. THEY'LL be able to help us, but she can't. She's a lower employee and doesn't know what's going on."

This was in reference to a sign on the shelf for a book that hadn't been printed yet, and wouldn't be there for another week. Yes, ask the manager to bend the laws of time and spaced, so the publisher can get ONE book to you specifically because mommy said so.

I hope I've clarified myself well enough. I'ma crawl in a hole now, and punish myself for any unintended implied insults to people whose parents tag along and help with school shopping.

Oh, wait...no need for that...I have to go back to work today... punishment enough!

[jedimaster91]

My mom went with me to the college bookstore because she's the one with the credit card to pay for them.

The buyback system is ludicrously unfair and sucky, but I know it's not the clerks that set the prices. The publishers do. I also admit to being extremely leery of a set of books I ordered straight through the publisher. Amazon listed these books at $200 each, and the publisher offered them for $85 for the set with the member discount. Needless to say, I was e-mailing everyone in my class and my instructor to make sure they were the right books.

Someday I should get into the textbook industry. I'd make millions.

[sixums]

I know that all kids who have their families help aren't all bad. I'm talking about those whose parents are with them constantly every step of the way who only exist, so I've observed, to increase the suck factor in the shopping experience. I've had one parent specifically tell their child within earshot of me "Don't believe her, ask for a manager. THEY'LL be able to help us, but she can't. She's a lower employee and doesn't know what's going on."

This was in reference to a sign on the shelf for a book that hadn't been printed yet, and wouldn't be there for another week. Yes, ask the manager to bend the laws of time and spaced, so the publisher can get ONE book to you specifically because mommy said so.

I hope I've clarified myself well enough. I'ma crawl in a hole now, and punish myself for any unintended implied insults to people whose parents tag along and help with school shopping.

Oh, wait...no need for that...I have to go back to work today... punishment enough!

You didn't offend me, don't worry. I was just adding my experience to the conversation. And believe me, I understand. I've been in line with my parents behind people like that, and all we can do sometimes is look at each other like "Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?".

The problem, I think, is that SCs love to breed. They raise their children with the same SC ways that they learned. When little precious gets to college, the SC parent is suddenly like "ZOMG HAVE TO CONTROL EVERYTHING BEFORE LITTLE PRECIOUS LEAVES ME FOREVAR", so they have to help with every little thing. This increases the suck factor x2. They come out in droves, because suddenly all the SCs and their offspring are in one place at once, with a limited amount of time to before their kids boot them back home. Stress + children + SCs = hell.

The funny thing is I'm thinking of becoming a tour guide for this next year at my school. I don't know if I could handle all those overbearing parents. Either that or I would leave little offhanded comments about what their little precious will really be doing at school.

[dithers66]

No offense, but to someone like that you're being TOO nice to them. They don't deserve such a kind person.

[wanderingjoe72]

[B]What do you mean I can't have my way!

I'm just curious if you had security get involved on this one. My dad ran the local university book return department for awhile after he retired and he would have had her put in custody so fast she wouldn't have known what hit her. He doesn't put up with much from unruly persons.

Did I mention my dad retired from the Federal Beareu of Prisons?

[dithers66]

Me: <Passes her license over, only to have her yank it out of my hand so fast the bitch CUTS me with her card! I have the bandaid on my finger to prove it!>
SC: Serves you right, bitch! <Storms out>

I'm not sure what else you expected when you stay kind to people like that.