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Me: Thank you for calling the Harmacy, this is TheComputerError. How may I help you?
SC: I just moved to the area and I would like a refill on one of my prescriptions.
Me: OK, what's your date of birth?
SC: XX/XX/XXXX
Me: OK, and your name?
SC: Ima Wasteofoxygen.
Me: OK, Mr. Wasteofoxygen, which medication do you need?
SC: I need my Xanax.
Me: Alright, let me see. *brings up his prescription profile* Mr. Shitforbrains, this is too soon to refill.
SC: What do you mean?
Me: According to our records, you received 150 Alprazolam 1mg tablets two weeks ago at another one of our locations, and 35 of the same last week. This medication is now too soon to fill until the end of the month.
SC: But, I'm going away in two days.
Me: How long will you be away?
SC: Three or four days.
Me: Then you should have enough to last you until you return.
SC: But, my dog knocked my Xanax out of my hands last week and now I don't have any more. Can't I just buy some without going through my insurance?
Me: Unfortunately, no. This medication is a controlled substance and the Harmacist will need a doctor's authorization to release it to you early.
SC: What's a Harmacist?
Me: The person who has been educated and licensed to dispense medication as per doctor's prescriptions and state and federal laws and who can lose his or her license should he or she be found to be dispensing any medication without the appropriate authorization.
*insert about 5 minutes of whining/yelling to give him the medication*
Me: Alright, Mr. Wasteofoxygen, here's how you can get your medication early. You can go count the number of pills you have remaining and determine when you will run out. Then, you can call your doctor and he, in turn, can call us to release the appropriate number of pills. Once that has happened, you can come to get your medication.
SC: But, he called and authorized it last week.
Me: Right, and we need a new authorization to release any further medication.
SC: So, what do I do?
*repeat the previous four lines of dialog several times*
SC: So, what do I do?
Me: Mr. Wasteofoxygen, I have told you the only solution to your situation and you have ignored it. Your only options are to call your doctor or to wait.
SC: BUT HE ALREADY AUTHORIZED IT!
Me: He authorized the early release of 35 Alprazolam 1mg tablets a week ago. He did not leave an open authorization to continue dispensing them early for you. If you want any more, you will need to contact your doctor.
SC: BUT I HAVE A REFILL!
Me: Regardless of whether you have a refill or not, we need your doctor to contact us to authorize the early release of the medication.
This call continued in what felt like a Groundhog Day-style loop for about 15 minutes, during which the Harmacy was getting rather busy and my Harmacy manager was staring daggers at me. I end up ending the call and return to business as usual.
Then, the following day, he calls again. This time, however, he got the Harmacy manager on the phone. I, unfortunately, couldn't hear his end of the conversation.
HM: Mr. Wasteofoxygen, you were told yesterday by my technician that your doctor would need to call and authorize an early release of medication. Since, he has not called to authorize it, it will not be dispensed.
SC: *surely carrying on about how much he needs the medication*
HM: You have been told twice now how this scenario needs to be handled. Either you will do that, or you will wait.
His doctor has still yet to call. Of course, his doctor is one that we've been suspecting simply fills whatever quantity of whatever medication his patients want without regard. Also, considering we've never actually talked to this doctor (he always leaves voicemail), we're not really enthused about dealing with him or his patients.
SC: I just moved to the area and I would like a refill on one of my prescriptions.
Me: OK, what's your date of birth?
SC: XX/XX/XXXX
Me: OK, and your name?
SC: Ima Wasteofoxygen.
Me: OK, Mr. Wasteofoxygen, which medication do you need?
SC: I need my Xanax.
Me: Alright, let me see. *brings up his prescription profile* Mr. Shitforbrains, this is too soon to refill.
SC: What do you mean?
Me: According to our records, you received 150 Alprazolam 1mg tablets two weeks ago at another one of our locations, and 35 of the same last week. This medication is now too soon to fill until the end of the month.
SC: But, I'm going away in two days.
Me: How long will you be away?
SC: Three or four days.
Me: Then you should have enough to last you until you return.
SC: But, my dog knocked my Xanax out of my hands last week and now I don't have any more. Can't I just buy some without going through my insurance?
Me: Unfortunately, no. This medication is a controlled substance and the Harmacist will need a doctor's authorization to release it to you early.
SC: What's a Harmacist?
Me: The person who has been educated and licensed to dispense medication as per doctor's prescriptions and state and federal laws and who can lose his or her license should he or she be found to be dispensing any medication without the appropriate authorization.
*insert about 5 minutes of whining/yelling to give him the medication*
Me: Alright, Mr. Wasteofoxygen, here's how you can get your medication early. You can go count the number of pills you have remaining and determine when you will run out. Then, you can call your doctor and he, in turn, can call us to release the appropriate number of pills. Once that has happened, you can come to get your medication.
SC: But, he called and authorized it last week.
Me: Right, and we need a new authorization to release any further medication.
SC: So, what do I do?
*repeat the previous four lines of dialog several times*
SC: So, what do I do?
Me: Mr. Wasteofoxygen, I have told you the only solution to your situation and you have ignored it. Your only options are to call your doctor or to wait.
SC: BUT HE ALREADY AUTHORIZED IT!
Me: He authorized the early release of 35 Alprazolam 1mg tablets a week ago. He did not leave an open authorization to continue dispensing them early for you. If you want any more, you will need to contact your doctor.
SC: BUT I HAVE A REFILL!
Me: Regardless of whether you have a refill or not, we need your doctor to contact us to authorize the early release of the medication.
This call continued in what felt like a Groundhog Day-style loop for about 15 minutes, during which the Harmacy was getting rather busy and my Harmacy manager was staring daggers at me. I end up ending the call and return to business as usual.
Then, the following day, he calls again. This time, however, he got the Harmacy manager on the phone. I, unfortunately, couldn't hear his end of the conversation.
HM: Mr. Wasteofoxygen, you were told yesterday by my technician that your doctor would need to call and authorize an early release of medication. Since, he has not called to authorize it, it will not be dispensed.
SC: *surely carrying on about how much he needs the medication*
HM: You have been told twice now how this scenario needs to be handled. Either you will do that, or you will wait.
His doctor has still yet to call. Of course, his doctor is one that we've been suspecting simply fills whatever quantity of whatever medication his patients want without regard. Also, considering we've never actually talked to this doctor (he always leaves voicemail), we're not really enthused about dealing with him or his patients.
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