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No soup for you tonight, asshat...and a companion tale of woe

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  • No soup for you tonight, asshat...and a companion tale of woe


    Aaand, cue the gerbils...


    Old Woman (OW): I want the salmon dinner with a salad, please.
    Me: Would you like that with a baked potato, mashed potatoes, or french fries?
    OW: *perplexed face* What?!
    Me: Would you like a baked potato, french fries, or mashed potatoes? It comes with your dinner.
    OW: *still confused* A what or what? French fries? What?
    Me: What kind of potato do you want to eat with your salmon? You can have mashed potatoes, a baked potato, or just fries. It's up to you.
    OW: *stunned silence*
    Me:...
    OW: *silence*
    She's staring at me - searching deep in my eyes for the answer to my question. I want to tell her, "Sorry ma'am, it's not a trick question. I just want to know what kind of potato product you'd like to consume with your poorly cooked and highly overpriced salmon. I know I'm asking you a life changing question, but if you still can't figure it out you could always resort to eenie meanie miny moe."

    Me:...
    OW: *continued stunned silence, so much so that I start counting the seconds in my head)


    *TEN FULL SECONDS LATER*

    OW: Oh! *looks abruptly stunned out of her potato-choosing coma* Um, I want mashed potatoes. I already told you that.
    Me:...Um, you just spend some time figuring it out. You didn't say anything to me yet.
    OW: Well, I told you! Mashed potatoes! *looks annoyed*

    Okay, so apparently you transmitted your deeply thought-provoking choice of mashed potatoes psychically to me. In that case, I didn't get the message.

    Sorry that you have to, you know, use your vocal cords to transmit information the way normal human beings who need something do. How dare I not be able to recieve your ever-important psychic yearnings for food items!


    No Soup for You, Jackass

    A bit of background: my manager took this couple's inital order because I was swamped with tables. The couple had ordered ham and eggs and hash browns, then a bowl of soup. Unfortunately for this crabby old asshat, we were out of soup. When I told him the news, he flipped out on me and demanded to know why we didn't have the soup he wanted at 11 at night, that I didn't know what I was doing, that my manager was incompitent, blah blah blah...

    Anyway, and then he had this conversation with me when I handed him the bill:

    Old Crab (OC): What is this! What is this! Waitress, I am NOT paying $xx.xx for ham and eggs! How dare you!
    Me: Um...what?
    OC: It says I have to pay $xx.xx (for the breakfast, which comes with eggs, toast, and hash browns) and $x.xx (for the ham - because we have to charge for the meat)!!!
    Me: Well, you have to pay for the meat your purchased. Plus, my manager already comped $x.xx off because you added it to another breakfast. And, I comped your coffee and tea off because of the soup problem. So you're actually saving $x.xx.
    OC: WELL, IT DOESN'T SAY I GOT COMPED ANYTHING!
    Me: Actually, down at the bottom it says "service comp - $x.xx". This isn't the whole amount though, seeing as when I split off your soup part of the comp came off. (note: it's a computer error that the company is trying to fix, but as of yet hasn't done so) I will let my -
    OC: YOU BETTER LET YOUR MANAGER KNOW! THIS IS RIDICULOUS! $x.xx for ham and eggs!! How dare you!
    Me: It's actually going to be minus $x.xx, and my manager can fix this for you. It's an easy fix, I'll let him know.
    OC: Yes, you better do it! I am NOT paying that amount! I didn't even get what I wanted!
    Me: ...Then why did you eat all of it? You aren't paying for the soup, my manager already comped a huge amount off of your meal, and you didn't have to pay for your coffee. Really, you're going to save somewhere around $x.xx.
    OC: I don't see that on here!
    Me: I am just going to give your ticket to my manager. He can deal with you.
    OC: He is going to fix it!!
    Me: *walks away while he's mid-sentence*

    Crabby old man, there is only so much of people like you I can take.
    I can't believe that you wern't satisfied with anything. You got exactly what you wanted, you paid half price for both meals, and you didn't have to pay for your beverages. I fail to see where you had the right to be unhappy.

    Additionally, he ripped into my manager for a good ten minutes and told my boss that he was essentially incompitent. Lucky for you, asshat, I found out about this after it happened (because I was sent on break as this man was leaving). If I would have seen you talking like that to the one decient manager we have in the Pit, I would have ripped into your crabby, mean old ass.

    I hope you promised never to return to the Pit - and that you keep such a promise.





    Annd, I am going to go squeeze a stress ball now.
    check out my new blog!!!!

    http://pitofdespairblog.blogspot.com/

    feel free to comment/send me the links to your blog!

  • #2
    Some people really need to just stay home. They can pinch their pennies until Abe Lincoln poops, and they can spend their "fixxxxed innnnnncome" on Hungry Man dinners and NEVER EVER go out to eat again.

    I no longer work food service or retail, but if more people like him stayed home and didn't eat out, oh my word...going out to dinner and on dates would be SO much more pleasant, because there wouldn't be that constant background noise of some freakin George Constanza clone whining about being overcharged or ripped off.
    You really need to see a neurologist. - Wagegoth

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    • #3
      He'll be back. They ALWAYS come back.
      "Hi, this is Silver. How may I lose my self respect in order to cater to your over- inflated ego today?" --- Silverrb

      Comment


      • #4
        Quoth SilverOrb View Post
        He'll be back. They ALWAYS come back.
        No matter how many times they were disappointed, and no matter how mad they got.
        Excuse me, good sir paladin, can you direct me to your EVIL district?

        http://www.dywhcomic.com

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        • #5
          Quoth SilverOrb View Post
          He'll be back. They ALWAYS come back.
          Quoth Apathy View Post
          No matter how many times they were disappointed, and no matter how mad they got.
          Yep, in the SC language, "I'm never coming back here again" translates to "See you next week!"

          One of the side effects of SC's having little ability to think, read or use logic is that they also tend to have very short memories regarding anything they say or threaten that may be inconvenient for them in the future.
          Last edited by South Texan; 09-22-2008, 03:37 PM.
          "Ignorance is no excuse for a law."
          .................................................. ..................- Alfred E. Newman

          Comment


          • #6
            Quoth blas87 View Post
            Some people really need to just stay home. They can pinch their pennies until Abe Lincoln poops, and they can spend their "fixxxxed innnnnncome"
            I absolutely fucking HATE it when people bitch about the cost of something and throw you their "fixed income" card.

            Guess what.... MY income is fixed, too.
            I get paid $XX.xx an hour and I work 40 hours each week.
            My paycheck is the same amount each and every payday.

            If I don't have the discretionary income for something, then I don't buy it.
            I don't whine or cry... I don't stomp and kick my feet... I don't wet my pants... I don't badger and berate the server/associate/clerk/CS rep/etc. I just don't fucking buy it.
            "It's not easy being evil in a world that's gone to Hell" ~ Anton LaVey

            Comment


            • #7
              Thank you for reminding me why I no longer work as a waitress.
              Ridiculous 2009 Predictions: Evil Queen will beat Martha Stewart to death with a muffin pan. All hail Evil Queen! (Some things don't need elaboration.....) -- Jester

              Ridiculous 2010 Predictions: Evil Queen, after escaping prison for last years prediction, goes out and waffle irons Rachel Ray to death. -- SG15Z

              Ridiculous 2011 Prediction: Evil Queen will beat Gordon Ramsay over the head with a cast-iron skillet. -- FireHeart

              Comment


              • #8
                See, I just don't understand why people can act like that. Especially towards a server, or other restarant employee. (hint, this has nothing to do with things going into the food, or other "nasty" tampering). I mean, you are in a place where there are numerous sharp knives available. Whats to stop a pissed off server who just snapped and went off the deep end because you just had to be a douchebiscuit from taking a steak knife and plunging it into the back of your neck (like the crazy nazi dude on Hell Boy).

                Yup, people confuse me.
                My Karma ran over your dogma.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Thank you for reminding me why I refuse to ever work as a waiter!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Quoth digilight View Post
                    See, I just don't understand why people can act like that. Especially towards a server, or other restarant employee. (hint, this has nothing to do with things going into the food, or other "nasty" tampering). I mean, you are in a place where there are numerous sharp knives available. Whats to stop a pissed off server who just snapped and went off the deep end because you just had to be a douchebiscuit from taking a steak knife and plunging it into the back of your neck (like the crazy nazi dude on Hell Boy).

                    Yup, people confuse me.
                    People like that are one of the reasons that I still think the movie "Waiting..." should be mandatory viewing for people in the service industry. It's a bit juvenile, but it also more or less sums up the gamut of people that you will be dealing with in your job. That, and it has tree lines that more or less can be used with every bitchy customer.

                    Amy: I just don't understand what would compel a person to be such a bitch to a total stranger!
                    Monty: Maybe she was abused when she was a child.
                    Amy: Oh God, I fucking hope so.
                    "That's too bad. Hospitals aren't fun to fight through."
                    "What IS fun to fight through?"
                    "Gardens. Electronics shops. Antique stores, but only if they're classy."

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                    • #11
                      Man I gotta see Waiting sometime.
                      My basic dog food advice - send a pm if you need more.

                      Saydrah's leaving the nest advice + packing list live here.

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                      • #12
                        What I don't get...

                        Someone who is aware enough of their "fixed income" to whine about it on cue walks into a restaurant, with clearly posted prices. They read the menu, see the clearly posted prices, and order food. The food arrives exactly as described, and they eat it without a word of complaint. When the bill arrives, they freak out and pitch a fit, because they're on a fixed income and the prices are outrageous and they're not gonna pay! Bonus points if they got some sort of discount from the standard price somewhere in there.

                        What is wrong with people like that? Are they honestly THAT divorced from reality that the idea of "If I order the $5 meal and consume it, it will cost me $5" simply makes no sense to them?

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Quoth KhirasHY View Post
                          "Waiting":
                          Amy: I just don't understand what would compel a person to be such a bitch to a total stranger!
                          Monty: Maybe she was abused when she was a child.
                          Amy: Oh God, I fucking hope so.
                          Hmmm... now, I've never seen this movie, but there's a strange level of irony there...
                          Amy apparently doesn't practice what she preaches. "Don't hate on strangers"...
                          "I call murder on that!"

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