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  • Please do?

    Tonight, I got to experience the fabled 'I'm going to report you for doing your job' moment.

    It was quite satisfying.

    Background: I work as a lifeguard, on Mondays and Wednesdays, we don't have a closing head guard or supervisor (Which is against regulations, and makes the managers do more work, and they could fix the whole thing by promoting me to a position where I'd make a single dollar per hour more than I do now. No, I'm not bitter.) This means that I, as the senior guard on duty (I've been there since June, this is sad), am basically in charge on Monday and Wednesday nights once the managers go home.

    Cast:

    S: Friendly neighborhood lifeguard
    AM: Assholish mom (Thank god not mine.)
    LP: Little Pwecious

    So I'm hanging out doing my job in our recreation/lap pool when it's time to rotate, and one of the girls I'm working with takes the buoy from me, and takes the stand. I walk into our Therapeutic Pool, and before I get to the stand, I see a rules violation. There is a somewhat regular patron with her son, doing aerobics in our pool, which is fine, with our water-weights (Essentially buoyant objects on either side of a hollow bar to act as dumbells) which is fine, with her son doing them too which is not fine, since we have regulations that do not permit us to allow children to handle the water-weights.

    So I walk over to the other side of the pool, where they are, and get the kid's attention, signaling him to come over, since I don't like making a big deal out of these things in front of the whole pool unless it's a repeat offense and I'm kicking them out, in which case they get to walk the walk of shame.

    S: "I'm sorry, sir, but I can't let you use these. You're too young and the Y's rules say you can't use them yet."
    LP: hands me the weights and smiles, saying softly "Sorry."
    AM: "Even with me? He cannot use even with me?"
    S: "Sorry, ma'am, but I can't let him use them."
    AM: "How old does he have to be to use them?"
    S: "I'm not clear on that, ma'am, the wording of the rule is very vague, but it says only adults can use them, so I assume 18."
    AM: "I think you are lying. Other lifeguards let him use weights with me."
    S: "Ma'am, I don't know what my co-workers do or do not do, but without my manager telling me to, I can't allow you to break our pool rules, and my manager has gone home for the day."
    AM: "I think you are lying."
    S: "I'm sorry you feel that way, ma'am."

    So I walk away, and before I even make it back to the stand, I see her hand her child one of the weights she was using and start doing one-armed exercises with him. I snarl, and walk back, kneeling down at the edge of the pool next to them.

    S: "Ma'am, he cannot use those, end of story. If I have to come over here again, he's coming out of the pool."
    AM: "Other lifeguards have let him use them with me! You are lying!"
    S: "I'm sorry you feel that way yet again. However, those are our rules, I didn't make them, but I have to follow them. Do. Not. Give. Him. The. Weights. Again."
    AM: "You are LYING!"
    S: "If I see it again, he spends some time out of the pool. Goodbye."
    AM: "I think you are lying, so I will fill out a complaint against you."
    S: "They're at the front desk. Enjoy."

    I didn't have another problem with her, but I warned both the girls I was working with to take the kid out of the pool if it happened again. I told them to tell me if she gave them crap, and I'd take care of it, since I am effectively the supervisor while there tonight.

    My least confrontational co-worker told her that her kid wasn't allowed to climb on her back while she worked out, either, and by the next time after that that I went into the theripudic pool, they were gone.


    Also, this is another story entirely, but about two weeks ago, one of our regulars brought his wife in, and when I gave him the 5 minutes till closing warning, he gave me this gem:

    S:
    RM: Regular Man
    RW: Regular's wife

    RW: "Maybe we should leave, it's getting late."
    S: (thoughts) Thank you
    RM: "OK, we'll leave..."
    S: Thank you god!
    RM: (After giving it just long enough to get my hopes up) "... In 5 minutes."
    RW: Gives me sympathetic look.
    S: ah, well...


    Sorry I don't have many to report. Most people don't question me when I yell at them, and don't interact with me otherwise. Although I do have a story about my ex-sup being an SC to our delivery guy a while ago, if anyone wants to hear it.
    "Darling, you are a bitch. I'm joining the Navy." -Cinema Guy 4/30/2009

  • #2
    I love those complaints. Fine feel free to report me for doing my job. It generally makes managers happy that I follow the rules.

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    • #3
      Mom gave son the weight, I think I would have warned that i would have bounced *both* of them.

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      • #4
        unfortunately, I'm not allowed to throw them out until I've pulled them both out of the pool. However, taking the kid out and leaving mommy alone usually causes enough bitching by the kid that the mommy will leave on her own. With most families, anyway.
        "Darling, you are a bitch. I'm joining the Navy." -Cinema Guy 4/30/2009

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        • #5
          And that would be why after my stint as a lifeguard at Carowinds this summer, I will never repeat the experience again. Between never getting to actually swim and the guests...no way.
          My NaNo page

          My author blog

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          • #6
            In my Y it was against the rules to smoke in the pool area and I caught a guy doing it while rotating. I told him to put it out and what the rule was. He was nice enough to do so. Then after I had gotten into my tower he swam up to it and started flirting with me. I'm a 16 year old in a job of supreme importance in the fact that I'm trying to prevent people from dying (at the most) and I take it seriously, and you're a 30-something guy with grooming problems. Ain't gonna happen. I politely, if a little icily, told him I can't talk to people while I'm on the stand unless it's a problem related to my job and he went away. Never saw him again thankfully.

            Ahhh... lifeguarding... not gonna renew that certificate unless I have to!
            "There is a sadist inside me. She likes cake." - Krys Wolf, my friend

            In a coffee shop in Whitehouse, Texas: "Unsupervised children will be given two shots of espresso and a free puppy."

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