People don't understand my inglish.

[elysia]

*ring*
Me: <spiel>
SC: Oh who have I reached?
Me: The UPS Store.
SC: Oh. Yes. Do you have a notary?
Me: Yes, I am a notary, I'll be in till 5 o'clock today.
SC: Where are you located?
Me: We are at 123 Hell st. right next to Gottschalks, in the SaveMart shopping center.
SC: Hmmmm. Well, if I come in from the bottom of that one road that goes right up to Gottschalks, which side of the parking lot will you be on?
Me: Well, we are right next to Gottshalks, so if you drive up to Gottshalks you will see us.
SC: Ok so you are not on the side with Longs?
Me: Right.
SC: There is a Starbucks in there too somewhere, are you anywhere near that?
Me: No, Starbucks is on the opposite side of the shopping center. We are next to Gottschalks.
SC: Oh! Ok, do you have a sign that says notary?
Me: Well, yes but its a little small, you may not be able to see it from your car. Just look for the sign that says UPS Store.
SC: Do you have a sign that says the name of your company?
Me: .....Yes.
SC: Whats the name of your company?
Me: ....The UPS Store.
SC: And you are on Hell street?
Me: Yes. Next to Gottshalks.
SC: Oh. And how long are you open today?
Me: We are open until 6 o'clock, but I'm the notary and I am only here until 5 O'clock.
SC: Oh you are only there until 5 o'clock?
Me: Yes, I have to leave at 5, I have to be somewhere at 5:30.
SC: Do you have a sign posted with your hours?
Me: Yes, there is a sign on the front door stating our hours.
SC: Ok I'll be there at 5 o'clock for a notary. *click*

Perfect. I'll be leaving at 4:59.


*door dings, enter SC*
Me: "Good morning!"
SC: "Good morning? Oh I guess."
Me: "H ----"
SC: "Don't ask me how I'm doing please, my husband just broke his arm and he has been horrible to me and we dont have insurance to cover it right now, I may be losing my job because of the recession our company is doing layoffs and I'm so worried, thats the last thing we need right now, I just came in to look at your cards, they are such wonderful cards! I just love these! How much are they? Oh god here is the price on the back are you really asking $2.95?! Well thats just too much, I can't belive prices of everything now days, how do they expect people to get by? You have a nice day now." *leaves*

Well aren't you just a bucket of smiles?

[LibraryLady]

We get that sort of thing all the time. Here's a sample call.

Me : Your friendly Librarian
SC : Oblivious Newton-John

Me: X Library. May I help you?

SC: Yes, when are your hours please?

Me: We're open on Wed., Thur. and Fri. 10AM to Noon and 1PM to 4:30.

SC: OK. I'll be in on Saturday at 12:30

ME

[Crow The Robot]

Wha... ? That first one was like Who's On First without the humor that second one was just odd, who tells random strangers their life stories?

[wraiths_crono]

who tells random strangers their life stories?

I know who ive a friend like that: Attention OREs that's who.

[MoonChild2007]

who tells random strangers their life stories

Try working at a call center, all I HEAR is "my mom is sick, my dad died, i have to go out, blah, blah, blah. And some of us these people use them as excuses or pull the sympathy card just to get their services restored.

Oh god here is the price on the back are you really asking $2.95?! Well thats just too much

get a better job sweetheart. You know, I will never understand why people insist on using the whole "recession" thing as some of kind of an excuse just to get lower prices?

[depechemodefan]

I just came in to look at your cards, they are such wonderful cards! I just love these! How much are they? Oh god here is the price on the back are you really asking $2.95?! Well thats just too much, I can't belive prices of everything now days, how do they expect people to get by? You have a nice day now." *leaves*

I have a cheap suggestion. Paper and crayon. Or at least back of a flyer and a pencil stub.

[Soulstealer]

who tells random strangers their life stories?

Way too many people think that listening to their life story is in my job description.

No no, please regale me with details of your mundane day. Tell me more about things I have no intrest in. And here I thought I had just asked you for a call number when apperantly I asked you to tell me a fascinating story about how you got the call number without actually giving me the one piece of information I asked for.

Days like those I sometimes hope for the ones who talk on their mobiles and ignore me while I check out their stuff.

[jedimaster91]

who tells random strangers their life stories?

Try working healthcare. EVERYONE tells you their life's story, including many details no one wants to know, like the fact that you've been with 7 women and keep flirting with all the female techs who just want you to shut up already.

[XCashier]

People don't understand my English.

There's nothing wrong with your speaking; there's everything wrong with their listening. They hear what they bloody well want to hear, regardless of what you actually said. It's pathetic.

[friendofjimmyk]

SC: "Don't ask me how I'm doing please...

"...because I'm going to tell you anyway if you want to know or not!"

I dislike people like that. Those who think that complete strangers need to know details about their lives. "How are you" when asked by a stranger requires no more than a simple, one-liner response such as "I'm fine" or "Okay" or "Eh, okay" with no further explanation.

I had a friend once that if you asked her how she was doing you got the entire run down of her life. She was also infamous for saying "It's none of your business, but just so you know..." then proceeds to tell you what she felt was none of your business.

There's levels of communication and strangers, no matter how you are really feeling - do not need anything but simple answers in response to simple, generic inquiries.

[ralerin]

"...because I'm going to tell you anyway if you want to know or not!"

I dislike people like that. Those who think that complete strangers need to know details about their lives. "How are you" when asked by a stranger requires no more than a simple, one-liner response such as "I'm fine" or "Okay" or "Eh, okay" with no further explanation.

[chop]

There's levels of communication and strangers, no matter how you are really feeling - do not need anything but simple answers in response to simple, generic inquiries.

Case in point, my best friend. She's in her twenties but feels the need to tell everyone about everything going on in her life in a loud voice that carries. I love her to pieces but god. She doesn't complain about the bad stuff, and most of it is the super awesome stuff in her life, but...the cashier behind the desk doesn't really need to know that she got an A on her math exam, does he?

[Belari]

Wha... ? That first one was like Who's On First without the humor

That's what I thought too...what a wackjob.

[The Grim Shipper]

People like your notary customer there are why I tell people we stop notarizing documents an hour before we close.

[smileyeagle1021]

your caller sounds like my callers argueing over whether they go west or east... I know which direction we are idiots...

[Broomjockey]

I'd like to point out that while it may be annoying, not everyone who tells life stories is sucky. My grandmother was a very sweet lady, but she'd strike up a conversation with *anyone*. Cashiers and jewlery store workers were her favourite, but waitresses were close too. She just really liked to talk, but after her husband passed, she didn't have too many people to talk to on a regular basis.