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It's been a while since I last created my very own thread, and I thought it'd be lovely to join the mix. Work is stagnating like usual, but I've had a few moments of interest over the last few days. For those of you not aware, I work part-time in retail hell working at <big box retail>. And now the stage is set, so sit back, get a bite to eat and something soothing to drink and enjoy.
My first comments involve pennies from heaven. Er wait, I mean dollar coins. And I'm pretty sure they come from the bank (very dumb joke, I know) What is it with these blasted things that have everyone so hot and bothered? People are finally begrudgingly getting used to the fact that our store switched to coins, yet I still get people who act as though world's end is nigh. Some of the reactions I've had are:
Hot potato:
Jerks hand suddenly away as if the coins will burn burn burn. It's all I can do not to drop everything all over the counter and floor. Thanks for that.
I'm King of the World!
Strange as it may sound, <big box retail> is not trying to take over the government and make everyone conform. We switched to the coins for environmental reasons. Or wait...did we? ~shifty eyed look~
Buying Stock
OK, I'm trying not to laugh at you when you ask me if the dollar coins are <big box retail> money. That means I took your hard-earned cash and forced you to take store credit as change. Even better is that no one who asks me this is upset about the idea of having store credit forced upon them. Really, if only all my customers were so delightfully naive.
Donations
It also amuses me when you turn and hand your child the coins because you consider it a novelty. You do realize you just handed your kid cash and he/she can now spend it on whatever they please. Where were you when I was growing up?
In God We Trust
Did you seriously decline the coins, not because you find them bulky or annoying, but because you didn't see the words "In God We Trust" on them? Um, okay. That's a new one on me. But that's okay, I suspect some our customers think <big box retail> worships the devil anyway
Damn you Canadians!
I'm kidding of course. But this leads me to my favorite story. When people are taken by surprise and mention how the coins are similar to Loonies, I like to comment how "Everyone wants to be Canadian" in a peppy way. This usually generates a good chuckle and people go along their way. Well one time I was met with an angry retort "No they DON'T". So you see, not everyone likes Canadians
Moving beyond the lovely coinage, allow me mention how I hate, loathe and despise holiday clearance. Halloween crap is vile and evil. No really. I've already seen people come up to the registers with approvals to sell clearance items for almost nothing because it was "defective" or some other random complaint. It's CLEARANCE. You're already getting it for cheap, so why did someone approve selling a $20 costume for $1 because it was missing shoes? Even though the entire outfit was otherwise there. Damn, wish I had grabbed it first. ~jealous~
Guy comes through my line with a bunch halloween hair color sprays. Each one is marked $1.88, so 50% off means he gets it for 94 cents. Cans ring up for 94 cents and he tells me there's a sign saying they're a dollar. With me so far? I explain they're half off and we go back and forth about the dollar bit. I'm confused because we're charging him LESS than the aforementioned dollar, and I try to clarify further. Nope, he wanted them for 50 cents. OK wait, he knows it's 50% off and they already are ringing up 50% off of the marked price. "But there's a sign" he complains and demands a lower price.
I call over a manager, who explains to me (I really hate the treating me like a 3 year-old bit) why the price is 94 cents. I motion to the customer and ask if she would she kindly explain that to HIM. More back and forth, until the manager follows him back to the clearance section to review our alleged false advertising.
Just so everyone understands, Halloween merchandise took up something like 10 isles and had been reduced to less than one. This jerk honestly expected every nearby label to be perfectly positioned? Come to find out, the "extremely small label so small you couldn't even read the print" (his words) was for something else, yet he still demanded the lower price. Even started taking photos with his phone to forward to the GM declaring false advertising. OK, you know what? You're saving something like $4. This isn't worth our time or anguish and yes, we of course will give you your way. But you're still an ass. And hell, I was only ten minutes into my shift at that point
And some randomness. Our bags are awful. They're recycled, though they supposedly always were, but they're now of a much lower and crappier quality than ever before. They cling together so customers (some of them intentionally) walk away with whole clumps of bags attached to their groceries. They stick together so you have to have dampened fingers to get them apart, which is really aggravating when someone throws my dampened towels away. They tear easy, as in really easy. We've had many shattered bottles because the customer picks up the bag and it splits straight down the side. I hate these bags with a passion. And yet, someone came up with a startlingly ingenious idea. To prevent whole clumps of bags coming off of the spinner, we've started putting golf tees in the prong that holds the bags. The golf tee prevents the whole clump from coming off and you can only tear one or two bags off at a time. No idea how someone thought of this, but it's a terrific idea. Sunday was the first time I saw it and all three nearby registers were missing golf tees already. Not that I'm surprised.
Well, that's it for now. Much more has happened, but I'm tired and crave sugar. I'm out.
My first comments involve pennies from heaven. Er wait, I mean dollar coins. And I'm pretty sure they come from the bank (very dumb joke, I know) What is it with these blasted things that have everyone so hot and bothered? People are finally begrudgingly getting used to the fact that our store switched to coins, yet I still get people who act as though world's end is nigh. Some of the reactions I've had are:
Hot potato:
Jerks hand suddenly away as if the coins will burn burn burn. It's all I can do not to drop everything all over the counter and floor. Thanks for that.
I'm King of the World!
Strange as it may sound, <big box retail> is not trying to take over the government and make everyone conform. We switched to the coins for environmental reasons. Or wait...did we? ~shifty eyed look~
Buying Stock
OK, I'm trying not to laugh at you when you ask me if the dollar coins are <big box retail> money. That means I took your hard-earned cash and forced you to take store credit as change. Even better is that no one who asks me this is upset about the idea of having store credit forced upon them. Really, if only all my customers were so delightfully naive.
Donations
It also amuses me when you turn and hand your child the coins because you consider it a novelty. You do realize you just handed your kid cash and he/she can now spend it on whatever they please. Where were you when I was growing up?
In God We Trust
Did you seriously decline the coins, not because you find them bulky or annoying, but because you didn't see the words "In God We Trust" on them? Um, okay. That's a new one on me. But that's okay, I suspect some our customers think <big box retail> worships the devil anyway
Damn you Canadians!
I'm kidding of course. But this leads me to my favorite story. When people are taken by surprise and mention how the coins are similar to Loonies, I like to comment how "Everyone wants to be Canadian" in a peppy way. This usually generates a good chuckle and people go along their way. Well one time I was met with an angry retort "No they DON'T". So you see, not everyone likes Canadians
Moving beyond the lovely coinage, allow me mention how I hate, loathe and despise holiday clearance. Halloween crap is vile and evil. No really. I've already seen people come up to the registers with approvals to sell clearance items for almost nothing because it was "defective" or some other random complaint. It's CLEARANCE. You're already getting it for cheap, so why did someone approve selling a $20 costume for $1 because it was missing shoes? Even though the entire outfit was otherwise there. Damn, wish I had grabbed it first. ~jealous~
Guy comes through my line with a bunch halloween hair color sprays. Each one is marked $1.88, so 50% off means he gets it for 94 cents. Cans ring up for 94 cents and he tells me there's a sign saying they're a dollar. With me so far? I explain they're half off and we go back and forth about the dollar bit. I'm confused because we're charging him LESS than the aforementioned dollar, and I try to clarify further. Nope, he wanted them for 50 cents. OK wait, he knows it's 50% off and they already are ringing up 50% off of the marked price. "But there's a sign" he complains and demands a lower price.
I call over a manager, who explains to me (I really hate the treating me like a 3 year-old bit) why the price is 94 cents. I motion to the customer and ask if she would she kindly explain that to HIM. More back and forth, until the manager follows him back to the clearance section to review our alleged false advertising.
Just so everyone understands, Halloween merchandise took up something like 10 isles and had been reduced to less than one. This jerk honestly expected every nearby label to be perfectly positioned? Come to find out, the "extremely small label so small you couldn't even read the print" (his words) was for something else, yet he still demanded the lower price. Even started taking photos with his phone to forward to the GM declaring false advertising. OK, you know what? You're saving something like $4. This isn't worth our time or anguish and yes, we of course will give you your way. But you're still an ass. And hell, I was only ten minutes into my shift at that point
And some randomness. Our bags are awful. They're recycled, though they supposedly always were, but they're now of a much lower and crappier quality than ever before. They cling together so customers (some of them intentionally) walk away with whole clumps of bags attached to their groceries. They stick together so you have to have dampened fingers to get them apart, which is really aggravating when someone throws my dampened towels away. They tear easy, as in really easy. We've had many shattered bottles because the customer picks up the bag and it splits straight down the side. I hate these bags with a passion. And yet, someone came up with a startlingly ingenious idea. To prevent whole clumps of bags coming off of the spinner, we've started putting golf tees in the prong that holds the bags. The golf tee prevents the whole clump from coming off and you can only tear one or two bags off at a time. No idea how someone thought of this, but it's a terrific idea. Sunday was the first time I saw it and all three nearby registers were missing golf tees already. Not that I'm surprised.
Well, that's it for now. Much more has happened, but I'm tired and crave sugar. I'm out.
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