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So, I’m standing on the customer service/tech desk today, and all things considered, I’m having a good day. I’m in a good mood and not one customer has tried to pull a fast one on me...until now.
3 people standing in the que with a Compaq box in their arms and looking with the usual distain that customer service reps/tech support guys get from customers. The que is pretty long and the desk is pretty busy so I do my usual thing of leaning over the desk, putting my arm out and yelling “NEXT PLEASE”
They walk up to the counter and drop the machine don the desk “Hiya mate. This computer was repaired a few days ago and there’s another problem with it” this isn’t uncommon with electronics, unfortuneatly. They have a high infant mortality so components can blow before you even get them out the box.
So, still being in a chipper mood I say “okay, what’s the issue?” and I am resisting the urge to pinch my nose at this point. These people STANK
“The motherboard was replaced a few days back. I went to turn the computer on last night, the lights came on, the fans made a noise then it started blowing smoke out of these vents.” He said pointing to the vents at the BOTTOM of the machine.
I looked and I thought that was unusual, since there is no smoke without fire, and since smoke is hot, it rises, so it would be coming out the power supply fan before I was coming out the vents. Oh well, it’s not my job to judge. My job is to examine, fix and pwn customers who try to pull the wool over my eyes. “Okay, I’ll just plug it in around back here. Back in a few”
So I took it out the back and opened the case to look for burning on the motherboard. That’s when I noticed just exactly what had caused the problem. The power cable coming out the back of the DVDRW drive had been cut. Or one out of 5 wires had, at least. Then I saw another one had been cut, this time to the motherboard. Both cables had signs of burning around where the cuts were, but nowhere else on the cable
Now, my Dad is an electronics engineer and one thing I picked up from him was that if a cable is at fault and over-heats, the plastic sheeting melts off around the rest of the wire, not just in one place. Not to mention, you could see the actual metal had been cut CLEANLY. My theory on this was that he had cut both cables, touched them together to short the machine out then bought it back to us.
I took the computer out to show him and ofcourse he argued
SC: Stinkey Customer
Alison: My manger
Me: Too clever for these guys
SC: The last person to have the case open was your engineer
Me: so you’re accusing our engineer of vandaliseing your computer?
SC: I’m telling you that I’ve not had this computer case open. It’s live electrical equipment in there. I’m not stupid
Inner-Flea: You are
Me: Someone has had this case open, has cut these wires and shorted them together.
SC: yeah, but they’re burnt.
Me: if there is a fault with the cable, the whole plastic insulation sheets burns away. A cable is made of metal, metal conducts heat.
SC: so how can you prove that cable didn’t just burn
Me: Easy. See these other cables that run alongside it? None of them are burned. When something gets hot it passes it’s heat over to whatever is touching it. That’s how fire starts
SC: Don’t treat me like I’m stupid
Inner-flea: Why not?
Me: okay, if you want to accuse our engineers then you need to call Tech-direct and take it up with them
At this point, I look on the system as to who the last engineer was who went out...Mike. Mike’s one of those who come into our store and take care of our warrenty work, so we know him quite well and we know that he wouldn’t do this kind of thing
Me: and I notice Mike had told you that if you damage your PC again, you’ll be charged.
SC: I want to speak to your manager
Me: Fine
Inner-flea: you have no idea how happy it’ll make me to hand this off to someone else.
Anyway, I go over to the middle of the hardware sales mat where my line manager, Alison is covering the sales floor manager I said to her “Ali, I need your help”
She smiles, rolls her eyes and looks at me “What you done now?”
So I explained everything to her and she came over
Alison: Hi. How you doing?
SC: I’m pissed off Because...
Alison: Okay, you swear again and you’ll have your computer back and be escorted off the premises. My colleague here has explained the situation to me and we will not exchange that computer for you. We can repair it but you’ll pay for it.
SC: I ain’t paying that! The computer is faulty
Alison: Okay, Flea here is an electronics engineer and has been for the last 10 years. If he says it’s not a fault with the machine, then I put my trust in him. That computer is DAMAGED. And I’ll take a photo on my phone as proof of that
SC: you can take all the photos you like, Love. I want your name and his
Alison: I’m Alison [Insert name]
Me: And I’m AdvancedFlea
Alison: I’ll just take a copy of your receipt details too *puts the receipt on the copier and photocopies it*
SC: I’m not powering this back up. I’ll blow me up
Now, I shaln’t bore you with the cyclic conversation of “It’s damaged” – “I want a refund” because you can all imagine how it went. This was how it ended;
SC: Fine. I’ll take this back. When I plug it on and is blows my hand off, then it’s on your heads
With that, he storms off. Alison immediately got onto the call centre’s systems and wrote the following
“This customer came into store today. The PC is very clearly damaged. They have cut the cables supplying power to the motherboard and CD drive, they have also cut the USB cable connecting the card reader. Customer seems to think we are stupider than they are. They will call you up and tell you that the PC powers on but does not POST. They have cut the +5V connection to the motherboard and tried to short this out to the +24V connection on the DVDRW drive. Do not serve them”
3 people standing in the que with a Compaq box in their arms and looking with the usual distain that customer service reps/tech support guys get from customers. The que is pretty long and the desk is pretty busy so I do my usual thing of leaning over the desk, putting my arm out and yelling “NEXT PLEASE”
They walk up to the counter and drop the machine don the desk “Hiya mate. This computer was repaired a few days ago and there’s another problem with it” this isn’t uncommon with electronics, unfortuneatly. They have a high infant mortality so components can blow before you even get them out the box.
So, still being in a chipper mood I say “okay, what’s the issue?” and I am resisting the urge to pinch my nose at this point. These people STANK
“The motherboard was replaced a few days back. I went to turn the computer on last night, the lights came on, the fans made a noise then it started blowing smoke out of these vents.” He said pointing to the vents at the BOTTOM of the machine.
I looked and I thought that was unusual, since there is no smoke without fire, and since smoke is hot, it rises, so it would be coming out the power supply fan before I was coming out the vents. Oh well, it’s not my job to judge. My job is to examine, fix and pwn customers who try to pull the wool over my eyes. “Okay, I’ll just plug it in around back here. Back in a few”
So I took it out the back and opened the case to look for burning on the motherboard. That’s when I noticed just exactly what had caused the problem. The power cable coming out the back of the DVDRW drive had been cut. Or one out of 5 wires had, at least. Then I saw another one had been cut, this time to the motherboard. Both cables had signs of burning around where the cuts were, but nowhere else on the cable
Now, my Dad is an electronics engineer and one thing I picked up from him was that if a cable is at fault and over-heats, the plastic sheeting melts off around the rest of the wire, not just in one place. Not to mention, you could see the actual metal had been cut CLEANLY. My theory on this was that he had cut both cables, touched them together to short the machine out then bought it back to us.
I took the computer out to show him and ofcourse he argued
SC: Stinkey Customer
Alison: My manger
Me: Too clever for these guys
SC: The last person to have the case open was your engineer
Me: so you’re accusing our engineer of vandaliseing your computer?
SC: I’m telling you that I’ve not had this computer case open. It’s live electrical equipment in there. I’m not stupid
Inner-Flea: You are
Me: Someone has had this case open, has cut these wires and shorted them together.
SC: yeah, but they’re burnt.
Me: if there is a fault with the cable, the whole plastic insulation sheets burns away. A cable is made of metal, metal conducts heat.
SC: so how can you prove that cable didn’t just burn
Me: Easy. See these other cables that run alongside it? None of them are burned. When something gets hot it passes it’s heat over to whatever is touching it. That’s how fire starts
SC: Don’t treat me like I’m stupid
Inner-flea: Why not?
Me: okay, if you want to accuse our engineers then you need to call Tech-direct and take it up with them
At this point, I look on the system as to who the last engineer was who went out...Mike. Mike’s one of those who come into our store and take care of our warrenty work, so we know him quite well and we know that he wouldn’t do this kind of thing
Me: and I notice Mike had told you that if you damage your PC again, you’ll be charged.
SC: I want to speak to your manager
Me: Fine
Inner-flea: you have no idea how happy it’ll make me to hand this off to someone else.
Anyway, I go over to the middle of the hardware sales mat where my line manager, Alison is covering the sales floor manager I said to her “Ali, I need your help”
She smiles, rolls her eyes and looks at me “What you done now?”
So I explained everything to her and she came over
Alison: Hi. How you doing?
SC: I’m pissed off Because...
Alison: Okay, you swear again and you’ll have your computer back and be escorted off the premises. My colleague here has explained the situation to me and we will not exchange that computer for you. We can repair it but you’ll pay for it.
SC: I ain’t paying that! The computer is faulty
Alison: Okay, Flea here is an electronics engineer and has been for the last 10 years. If he says it’s not a fault with the machine, then I put my trust in him. That computer is DAMAGED. And I’ll take a photo on my phone as proof of that
SC: you can take all the photos you like, Love. I want your name and his
Alison: I’m Alison [Insert name]
Me: And I’m AdvancedFlea
Alison: I’ll just take a copy of your receipt details too *puts the receipt on the copier and photocopies it*
SC: I’m not powering this back up. I’ll blow me up
Now, I shaln’t bore you with the cyclic conversation of “It’s damaged” – “I want a refund” because you can all imagine how it went. This was how it ended;
SC: Fine. I’ll take this back. When I plug it on and is blows my hand off, then it’s on your heads
With that, he storms off. Alison immediately got onto the call centre’s systems and wrote the following
“This customer came into store today. The PC is very clearly damaged. They have cut the cables supplying power to the motherboard and CD drive, they have also cut the USB cable connecting the card reader. Customer seems to think we are stupider than they are. They will call you up and tell you that the PC powers on but does not POST. They have cut the +5V connection to the motherboard and tried to short this out to the +24V connection on the DVDRW drive. Do not serve them”
now it's my turn to say I fucking love you... seriously, I must get British citizenship so I can work at the same store as you 
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