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I'm embarassed so I'll yell about it! (language)

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  • I'm embarassed so I'll yell about it! (language)

    Not too long ago I was the manager on duty and had to help the Copy Center employee with something. A customer came up and started screaming at me. This was about 7pm on a slow night, so we were a little short handed. (sorry for the caps... added for emphasis where he was yelling)

    <SC> I AM SO EMBARASSED!
    <Me> huh?
    <SC> I was just taking a CRAP in your bathroom and there WASN'T ANY DAMN TOILET PAPER! I had to pick up my pants and GO TO THE LADIES ROOM! I AM SO EMBARASSED!
    <me> Um... I'm sorry, what can I...
    <SC> DON'T YOU EVER FUCKING CHECK YOUR BATHROOMS? DO YOU KNOW HOW EMBARASSED I AM! I GOT CRAP IN MY PANTS! DON'T YOU CHECK THE BATHROOMS?!?
    <me> Yes we do... but usually only in the mornings and at night. (FYI, the store manager himself cleaned it that morning and filled all the paper)
    <SC> Well, there wasn't any toilet paper and the FUCKING paper towels were empty too! I HAD TO GO TO THE DAMN LADIES ROOM TO WIPE MY ASS! IT'S EMBARASSING!!!
    <me> Um... ok. Sorry. I'll go take care of it.

    I walked away and checked the bathrooms. He left a little mess, and yes there wasn't any TP, but I have some questiones I should have asked him:

    1. Don't you CHECK to see if there's any TP before you take a crap? I always do, just in case that happens.
    2. Isn't it more embarassing to scream "I HAVE CRAP IN MY PANTS" in the front of a retail store than the act of having to scoot to the ladies room to snag some TP?
    3. What did he want me to do about it after the fact? Wash his bum?

    Personally, if I REALLY had to go and there was no TP I'd either A) ask an employee to get me some BEFORE I went (remember, I'd check first), B) ask my wife to snag me some from the ladies, or C) go to one of the 3 other major stores in the shopping plaza who, by the way, have much larger and nicer bathrooms than our little one. In fact, I recomend Target's bathrooms, cuz they have really nice foaming hand soap and both paper towels AND hand driers.

  • #2
    Wow. I hope that even though it was a slow night, that as many people as possible heard him say he crapped his pants! I've had customers complain about the bathrooms before (mind you I was working in the back of the store in a department; the bathrooms are in the front), but the most I'd hear is simply that they are dirty. Too bad I couldn't say "they are dirty because customers before you don't know how to wipe themselves or clean up after themselves!" They seem to act like the employees cause the nastiness in a dirty bathroom. Um excuse me, we have our own bathroom in the backroom that is kept squeaky clean most of the time!

    Excuse my disgustingness, but I hope you didn't smell the pleasant smell that accompanied the fact the person messed up in his pants!

    Plus, I tend not to use public bathrooms at all costs as I prefer to go to the bathroom in a private setting, but if I had to, I'd not do a #2 for the mere fact that someone would probably come in and know exactly what I'm doing the second they see my feet through the bottom of the stall facing forward.
    Last edited by I_Hate_SCs; 12-19-2008, 02:25 AM.

    "In cases of customer bathroom emergencies, the toilet itself becomes less of a goal and more of a loose suggestion." - Shamus

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    • #3
      I'd get that too, at all of my food service or retail jobs. Yes, like the employees who work there are really the ones who projectile sharted all over the fucking back of the toilet and the wall and the floor! They have to clean this stuff, why would you make such a stupid accusation?!

      I can't go #2 in public either. Obviously I can't go 8 hours without peeing, so I have to pee at work, but I am horrified at the amount of people who shamelessly shit all night long and leave the bathrooms at work in complete ruins. Some of the women I work with are just disgusting....what in the world could you possibly eat that could make it smell that awful?!
      You really need to see a neurologist. - Wagegoth

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      • #4
        Luckily there was a counter in between me and the customer and I didn't verify his claim firsthand.

        We have also had customers (both young and old):
        - Crap all over the toilet and floor
        - leave crap filled underwear in the garbage can (I threw up after that one)
        - pee on the carpet near the bathroom
        - allow their child to pee in the aisle
        - allow their child to pee on a shelf
        - mistake our back room for the restroom and not make it to the toilet and thus leave a #2 trail across the entire store
        - bring a dog in who piddled in the store
        - set a dog on the counter and left an unknown wet spot (dog's don't sweat, right? Maybe it was drool? I hope.)

        And there was one time when a goose got in the store and crapped on the floor, but that was a Sucky Goose, not a Sucky Customer.

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        • #5
          A goose got into the store? I really want to hear that one!
          You really need to see a neurologist. - Wagegoth

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          • #6
            Not much to that story. We're in Florida, near the coastline. VERY near the coastline. If there's a hurricane, my store will be GONE. There's some drainage canals between our store and the mall that are very popular with birds and seaguls frequently crap all over our cars.

            Anyway...

            One day we spot a goose waddling in front of the store. I told someone that we should probably make sure that it doesn't wander into the store. The dumbass went up to the door, which made the door open and the goose snuck in. DUH! Then we spent 10 minutes trying to 'encourage' it to leave. It got scared and pooped in the front aisle. It took like 5 of us to surround it and chase it out.

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            • #7
              Animals in Stores

              Quoth blas87 View Post
              A goose got into the store? I really want to hear that one!
              I'd like to hear that story as well!

              We had a bear wander into the local IGA grocery store a couple of years back. Made the national news (link below) and the incident was written into an episode of the TV show "Hank Williams First Nation".

              http://www.canada.com/edmontonjourna...e709b4&k=46977

              Ah... the "joys" of living in a small town. On the upside, we have very few serious SC incidents around here because everybody knows everybody else and probably knows their mother too!
              Sig Generator currently off-line for repairs. Please think of something incredibly witty & funny and then pretend you read it here. Thank you.

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              • #8
                Who in the crap allows their child to pee on the shelf or the floor? Who the hell are these parents???
                "If we refund your money, give you a free replacement and shoot the manager, then will you be happy?" - sign seen in a restaurant

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                • #9
                  Quoth CrazedClerkthe2nd View Post
                  Who in the crap allows their child to pee on the shelf or the floor? Who the hell are these parents???
                  You would be surprised what parents let their kids do. Do you know how many clothes we find peed on in our fitting rooms? They pee in our fitting rooms. Pee on the clothes in our fitting rooms. Worst case scenario: it's an adult peeing on our merchandise or floor. It's possible! We just assume it's a kid b/c we'd rather assume it's a kid. When I used to work guest services..I was working one night and dealing w/ SC parents. They had their kids w/ them. I noticed that the one kid was walking in a circle and stopping every once in a while. But I couldn't tell what he was doing. I didn't notice after they left either until our security came out of their office where they'd been watching this kid walk in circles, stop, wiggle his leg, and drop a turd on the floor. So everywhere he stopped was a turd. Security cleaned it up. I was gagging. But later it was funny..especially the video footage. But yea. It wasn't funny seeing that the parents noticed and didn't say anything. They grabbed the boy and went to our bathroom. Rolled their cart through it.

                  Yep. It's no surprise to me that parents let their kids pee on the shelves of this person's store.

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                  • #10
                    Quoth CrazedClerkthe2nd View Post
                    Who in the crap allows their child to pee on the shelf or the floor? Who the hell are these parents???
                    I once had a parent come up to me saying their little precious went to the bathroom in the aisle, and I came over and there was pee ALL OVER him, as if someone dumped a pitcher of water all over his lower half. Thankfully the pee was miraculously contained in the child's pants; there was nothing on the floor or anywhere else. OF COURSE the woman, and her husband, looked at me expectantly as if they expected me to clean it all up. Mind you, I made a vow when I started working in retail that I'd quit before either cleaning a restroom or cleaning someone's bodily fluids/solid waste. I just wouldn't do it, the job wasn't that important as it was just for extra $ while I was in college. I called my manager over and she allowed the parents to take them to the bathroom, pick out new clothes for the boy from the boy's dept., clean himself up, and wear the clothes out of the store after paying for them. I was just asked to make sure the parents pay for the clothes after they came out, which they did.

                    Oh, I forgot to mention the kid was around 6 years old--definitely old enough to know how to either A] hold it in or B] ask to go to the bathroom! If public schools are still how they were when I went (kids only allowed to go to the bathroom during designated bathroom breaks, not when the need arises) then the kid should have the ability to hold it in!

                    Also, although I never had an accident in public like that when I was little, I know my mom would've went to an employee, all embarrassed, asking for paper towels or something. Or, gasp, she would go to the bathroom herself with me and clean me up without bothering anyone. She wouldn't nonchalantly walk up to the employee (like this wench did) and expect him to clean the mess up like its their own kid!

                    "In cases of customer bathroom emergencies, the toilet itself becomes less of a goal and more of a loose suggestion." - Shamus

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                    • #11
                      Quoth Firecracker View Post
                      I didn't notice after they left either until our security came out of their office where they'd been watching this kid walk in circles, stop, wiggle his leg, and drop a turd on the floor.
                      Wow. I'd make the kid clean it up with his hands if I was Security! What is sad is I'm sure some parents probably don't potty train their kids well enough, or yell at them when they need to go to the bathroom which results in this kind of peculiar elimination behavior.

                      I'm sure the parents told the kid to do it.
                      Last edited by I_Hate_SCs; 12-19-2008, 05:17 AM.

                      "In cases of customer bathroom emergencies, the toilet itself becomes less of a goal and more of a loose suggestion." - Shamus

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        I'm positive some parents tell their kid to do it on purpose. Btw, this kid was definitely old enough to know about..he was 6 or older.

                        As for the parents w/ kid that peed all over himself and the parents expected you to clean their child up I'd have said "oh, none of it is on the floor so you're fine. If you need to clean your child up the bathroom is (and proceed to verbally direct them to where the bathroom is)".

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                        • #13
                          SC could have saved himself some embarrassment if instead of heading to the ladies' room, he called the store on his cell phone and explain the situation calmly.
                          To right the countless wrongs of our days... We shine this light of true redemption, that this place may become as paradise...Oh, what a wonderful world such would be...

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                          • #14
                            Quoth CrazedClerkthe2nd View Post
                            Who in the crap allows their child to pee on the shelf or the floor? Who the hell are these parents???
                            The worst I've seen was a woman letting her child pee on a train track. From the platform. In rush hour.

                            My friend once saw a woman in the middle of a massive queue at the bank who, upon being nagged by her 3-4 year old doing the pee dance, whipped a new nappy (diaper) out of her groceries, lay it on the floor and tell him to go on that.

                            Lovely.

                            My first post by the way! Long time lurker, just registered, love your work guys!

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                            • #15
                              Who the heck was he embarassed in front of? No one seen him go into the womens room right?But because hes the winner of the darwin award everyone in the store knows about it now. What a fucking moron. When I have one of my stomach episodes,I just call my boss and tell her I need one of my of "special"breaks.Never once have I ever screamed Elaine I need to shit and I will be shitting for a while,so I need a 10 or 15 min break.Like I said what a fucking moron.And whats the big deal I've went into the mens restroom(the single toliet kind) before. Like I said "special" issues.

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