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  • Teach me...

    Random guy I've never seen before walks into locksmiths shop:

    Me: How may I help you?
    RG: I need to talk to a locksmiths
    Me: Yeeessss??
    RG:......
    Me:.......
    RG: I need to talk to a locksmith about tools
    Me: What kind of tools?
    RG: I need to talk to a LOCKSMITH about tools and how to use them
    (Side note: I'm female)
    Me: I am able to help with that
    RG: No, I need to talk to a LOCKSMITH!
    Me: I AM a LOCKSMITH

    * Insert more dribble about how he needs to talk a locksmith that KNOWS about locksmithing tools, blah, blah, blah......
    So he finally deigns a lowly female to maybe know a little bit about locksmithing and comes out with this BS

    RG: I work with banks doing foreclosures. I have to go into houses, change the locks and winterize plumbing, etc. I need to buy break in tools and have the locksmith teach me how to use them.
    Me: Uhmmm... NO. We can't do that.
    RG: WHY NOT???? You are just jealous and don't want me taking business away from you.
    Me: We can't do that, because I have no Idea who you are and we are not teaching random strangers how to break into houses and supplying them with tools.
    RG: I have a legit business, here is one of my cards
    *hands me card that is obviously home made and printed on regular paper, not even card stock*
    Me: ........
    RG: I want to talk to your boss!
    Me: You'll have to leave a message, he's not in right now.
    RG: So how do you get into houses???
    Me: I pick the lock!
    Rg: Seee, that's all I wanna learn, sweetie.
    Me: Would you like to leave a message for the boss?
    RG: Just show me real quick, hon!
    Me: Would you like to leave a message for the boss?
    RG: You don't have to be like that. I won't tell anybody who showed me
    Me: Would you like to leave a message for the boss?

    There were a few more attempts at "sweet talking" me <gag> before my friend, the 6ft 200lb maintenance guy for the local business park walked in and RG decided to beat feet.

  • #2
    I wonder what's worse.... that he assumed a woman couldn't know how to do that type of thing -- or that once he found out you did he assumed you just wanted him to flirt with you to get the info he wanted.

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    • #3
      I get the same. People ask me all the time if the "key man" is in.
      "Never mind sweetheart - I'll pop back when the key man is in to help me."

      Good luck with that...there's me and a trainee. And that's it for staff. If you speak to the trainee he's going to look at y completely blankly and hand the key to me for cutting. And yes, it will work, even though a GIRL has cut it.

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      • #4
        I'm evil like that, but I'd hand his "card" to the police and make a report.
        I pet animals, I rescue insects, I hug trees.

        "I picture the lead singer of Gwar screaming 'People of Japan, look at my balls! My swinging pendulous balls!!!'" -- Khyras

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        • #5
          The first thing I thought of when I read that was this...

          Me: "Do you see that sign on the wall there?"
          * points to a blank spot on the wall behind the counter, close to the ceiling and to the side *
          * CS looks *
          CS: "What sign?"
          Me: "Oh there's no sign... I just wanted to make sure the camera got a good picture..."
          "Kamala the Ugandan Giant" 1950-2020 • "Bullet" Bob Armstrong 1939-2020 • "Road Warrior Animal" 1960-2020 • "Zeus" Tiny Lister Jr. 1958-2020 • "Hacksaw" Butch Reed 1954-2021 • "New Jack" Jerome Young 1963-2021 • "Mr. Wonderful" Paul Orndorff 1949-2021 • "Beautiful" Bobby Eaton 1958-2021 • Daffney 1975-2021

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          • #6
            Quoth Bliss View Post
            I'm evil like that, but I'd hand his "card" to the police and make a report.
            I don't think that's evil. He wants someone to teach him how to break into houses. I've never done forclosures, obviously, but somehow, I don't think that's how the banks operate.
            I am Wolverine.............and Wolverine does not do high kicks.

            He was a hero to me....and heroes are not supposed to die.

            Oh good, my dog found the chainsaw!

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            • #7
              Quoth persephone View Post
              ....I don't think that's how the banks operate.
              I'd think they would hire a locksmith to change the locks if anything.

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              • #8
                Quoth Bliss View Post
                I'm evil like that, but I'd hand his "card" to the police and make a report.
                And I'm sure the fool's real name, address and phone number is on the phony card to aid the police!

                "In cases of customer bathroom emergencies, the toilet itself becomes less of a goal and more of a loose suggestion." - Shamus

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                • #9
                  Quoth It shouldn't View Post
                  Random guy I've never seen before walks into locksmiths shop:
                  RG: I need to talk to a LOCKSMITH about tools and how to use them
                  (Side note: I'm female)
                  Me: I am able to help with that
                  RG: No, I need to talk to a LOCKSMITH!
                  Me: I AM a LOCKSMITH
                  Was he fully evolved and walking upright? Guys like that cheese me off... they make the rest of guys (who appreciate a smart & talented lady) seem stupid by association.

                  Quoth El Pollo Guerrera View Post
                  The first thing I thought of when I read that was this...

                  Me: "Do you see that sign on the wall there?"
                  * points to a blank spot on the wall behind the counter, close to the ceiling and to the side *
                  * CS looks *
                  CS: "What sign?"
                  Me: "Oh there's no sign... I just wanted to make sure the camera got a good picture..."
                  That's BRILLIANT! Maybe a little risky under certain circumstances but what a way to clear the SC out of the store in a heartbeat!


                  Quoth Bliss View Post
                  I'm evil like that, but I'd hand his "card" to the police and make a report.
                  I don't know about in the USA but here in Canada (at least in Ontario where I took a few locksmithing courses) a licensed locksmith would actually be legally required to report a conversation like that to the police!
                  Sig Generator currently off-line for repairs. Please think of something incredibly witty & funny and then pretend you read it here. Thank you.

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                  • #10
                    Quoth I_Hate_SCs View Post
                    And I'm sure the fool's real name, address and phone number is on the phony card to aid the police!
                    It really wouldn't surprise me if was.
                    If I dropped everybody who occasionally said something stupid from my list of potential partners, I wouldn’t even be able to masturbate

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                    • #11
                      Me: Would you like to leave a message for the boss?
                      RG: Just show me real quick, hon!
                      This is where I'd over exxageratingly slowly would get a piece of paper and write down a message to leave for the boss.
                      I am the nocturnal echo-locating flying mammal man.

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                      • #12
                        Quoth persephone View Post
                        I don't think that's evil. He wants someone to teach him how to break into houses. I've never done forclosures, obviously, but somehow, I don't think that's how the banks operate.
                        If there's a foreclosure and eviction and the person living there absolutely refuses to leave, they call in some police officers to enforce the eviction order.

                        The guy in the OP sounds extremely shady, such that I would very much consider making a report to the police.

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                        • #13
                          If you are offering lessons on how to pick locks please let me be your first customer. I am tired of paying to unlock my car because I forgot and locked the keys in it. I have to pay the locksmith $50.00 to come and unlock my car or my sister $30.00 to bring me my spare key.

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                          • #14
                            Lessons

                            Additionally what really makes him an idiot is that there is tons on info on the internet and in the lock library on how to pick locks.

                            Somehow my impression is people like this are not just stupid/dumb but also very lazy as if you do point them to the local library they will start to complain about how much work it it to do the needed reading and then practice on their own locks at home.

                            They almost always start asking you what the "TRICK" is to doing a job and refuse to believe you if you point out it took you lots of study and hard work.

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                            • #15
                              That's probably an advantage of living in an apartment block. I can almost certainly go to the janitor, who knows who I am, if I were to accidentally lock myself out of my flat (hasn't happened yet).

                              I don't have a car to lock myself out of. Hmm...

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