You'll regret this, I'm <fill in the blank> (give us your best answer!)

[Mara-chan]

Today's sucky person of the day for me was trying to return a christmas item without a reciept. I was manager on duty and the cashier called me over. By the way, the customer said he wasn't sure if he got it at our store or Office Depot.

<JBG> = a man who thought he was Just Below God
<me> = a man who doesnt' care.

<me> Do you have a receipt?
<JBG> *SIGH* No! I told HER that it was a gift from my wife and I don't know where the receipt is!
<me> Then do you know what card was used to buy it, because we can look up...
<JBG> *snatches it out of my hand* I don't need this kind of hassle for a TEN DOLLAR ITEM!
<me> ... I'm sorry, but...
<JBG> *I* am a Retail Consultant, and I work with all kinds of companies. I'm sure they'll LOVE to hear what kind of service you get here! *storms out*

First, most people on the planet should realize you need a receipt to get money back. Second, I COULD have given him store credit if he had let me finish my sentance. We can do returns without a reciept by looking up the card it was purchased on or give store credit if they provide us with an ID. Never got a chance to tell him, his loss. Third, I'm sure his customers would love to know how big a douchebag he was.


My question to you all... what's the most interesting title a customer has ever given you as an excuse as to why they deserve special treatment? "Retail Consultant" was new for me, but I've gotten 'Stockholder', 'priest' and everyone's favorite "I spend hundreds (thousands?) of dollars here"

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

So grouchy morons who write letters to PFB and such, and make complaints for no good reason are calling themselves "retail consultants" now?

As far as I can recall, I've only heard of people going on and on about how much money they supposedly spend at my store.

[edible_hat]

I've had people demand discounts because they know the guy who sold the store to the current owners 4 years previously.

[Mike Taylor]

Priest of what? Temple of the Uptight Puckered Sphincter?

If you're willing to take a trip back in time, here's my version of that kind of an encounter.

[Calud]

I love my customers...

"Its against the law to not give me back my item, I now this because I'm a lawyer!!!"

This is about an item in an online game and he couldn't even tell me the name of that item.

[Tito]

Since I worked for a small grocery store and alot of the regulars knew the owner, that was the biggest threat that employees there would receive from customers: they would tell the owner.

[Primer]

I actually got a 10% discount that I did not expect, and really, did not deserve, last week.

One of our local bookstores (Half Price Books) offers a discount card for teachers. It's my understanding that it's supposed to be for books and stuff to be used in the classroom. I found a bunch of really bad B-grade movies that I wanted, and when I was checking out, I said, "It's too bad I let my Teacher's Discount Card lapse." The cashier asked if I had an ID, and I promptly presented my college faculty ID. He said, "That's good enough for me," and gave me the discount! Surprised me! All I could say was, "Oh, wow! Thanks!"

I certainly did not demand my teacher's discount, and really did not expect to get it! I figured he'd say, sorry, it's for only classroom materials.

[edible_hat]

I certainly did not demand my teacher's discount, and really did not expect to get it! I figured he'd say, sorry, it's for only classroom materials.

I once got a student discount on a computer game. The store had a sign saying 10% discount for students on any software package that isn't available as an academic version. I jokingly asked if it included games and the answer was yes.

[otakuneko]

I jokingly asked if it included games and the answer was yes.

Sweet.
Wish I could get a 10% discount on some of these games I need to buy.

[calulu]

The nastiest one today with the 'you'll regret this' today was a minister with the last name involving "Pig" Funny name, sucky bitch. Looked her up online and there's not alot about her ministerial duties per se but there are tons of letters she's written to everyone from the federal reserve to the almight Planet Feedsuck and other dribblings and drabblings and babblings about how everyone is evil and out to cheat her porcine-sounding ass. Great witless witness for Christianity.

[protege]

"Retail Consultant?" Pardon my French, but are you fucking kidding me? That's a new one. Of course, being the bastard I am, I probably would have told him to "consult this" as I gave him the "Pittsburgh Salute"

[Nurian]

I got one once that said that he was a "Very Good Friend of the President" and I would "Be sorry" of I didn't immediately send him to someone higher (which I could not).

[Danno]

Twice when a customer realized they weren't getting what they wanted, they bragged that they knew somebody at the local paper and would get them to write a lousy review of our place. I didn't witness the second time it happened, but I suspect that it was the same woman. In any case, by a funny coincidence about a week after the first threat the paper wrote a glowingly positive review of our little stand.

Sort of related, one time a woman ordered a quart of vanilla and asked if she could have a "whole buncha" empty cones with it. I told her that unfortunately we don't really sell cones in bulk, but we do sell individual empty cones at fifty cents a piece. After a long pause she said,

"Um... it's for a priest."

I managed not to blurt out the obvious question, "So you want me to steal for him?" Oh, such an ethical dilemma...

[PentUpRage]

Way back when, I used to work for Agency Rent-A-Car in Solon, Ohio doing jr. phone collections. Hands down, the worst to collect from were doctors and ministers. I swear to you, the following is true.

Minister: But...I'm a man of God!
Me: yes Sir...you know, I spoke to God just this morning and he told me to tell you to pay your bills.
Minister: Gasp. *click*

[HorrorFrogPrincess]

Military, mostly. No one's been really sucky about it, and most of the time it's just "Do you offer Military Discounts?"

The only other group I can remember asking for a discount is County workers.

Only time people get a discount is when they take it up with the owners. We do give discounts to certain charity groups. I remember way back when I first worked there, we had a child from the Make a Wish foundation. They got everything free.

Poor kid could barely do anything, had to leave because he was feeling sick, and said as they left that this was the "best day ever".

I cried. T-T