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Ok after being promoted off the phones, the stupidity quotient has increased dramaticly. I'm now stuck dealing with concentrated stupid. I do account investigations that the call floor reps don't have time for, or sometimes the knowledge or patience to deal with. Now mind you all these customers called in a full month after their bill was issued, the new one had already been received. Apparentlly the customers think we're stupid as well-grab a beverage and a snack as I submit for your approval:
Scammer #1
"I text in my sleep, alternate title: my phone must be possessed"
research form states:
customer logged off company x mobile IM and went to sleep, but got a call from her friend saying she was logged on all night and ran up her bill $78.
Evidence-customer used 776 text messages over her paid for allotment
Problem-all messages were before midnight, customer would not give the date this happened, and all messages received were responded to within 30 seconds.
Verdict-Charges Valid-unless customer can submit evidence that her phone is possessed by an unknown entity that responds to all text messages.
Scammer #2
"oh those phones"
Research form states:
customer says never upgraded phones never agreed to 2 year contract extention, contract end date should not have changed.
Evidence-customer's word
Problem #1-account notes list two orders made for new phones in June 2005, ESN(electronic serial #s) and Fedex tracking numbers listed in account-both ESNs were active on the account one for six months, one for over a year.
Problem #2-ESNs were "locked" meaning in order to activate said phones customer had to call a special 1-800# to accept a two-year agreement and give an electronic signature capture before the phones would work(phone system notes when the number was called in the account)
Verdict-contract end date valid, my word is gospel, end of discussion-now go away.
Scammer #3
"I don't want to pay for a phone"
Credit request, account notes-
Customer got a coupon from store y for a free Razr phone with 2 year agreement-customer wants to disconnect service(within our service trial period) as she already has an account and just wanted to upgrade her phone. Agent disconnected service and requested credit for early termination Fee.
Problem-customer called in 4 times yesterday before she got my agent to disconnect service-we ARE NOT AUTHORIZED to disconnect service under the trial period as the equipment MUST BE RETURNED TO THE STORE, the store will terminate service. Customer refuses to return $219.00 phone, even though due to a holiday promotion she can get the same phone for $50.00 with a $50.00 Mail-in Rebate.
Solution-leave voicemail instructing customer that if the phone is not returned to the original place of purchase(which will note the account with the return) within 7 days her current account will be charged the full retail price of the equipment she has, plus she will be liable for the $175.00 Early Termination Fee also gave customer option of faxing return reciept from store to us.(agent was written up by me)
Scammer #4
"hey let's admit to identity theft"
research form states:
Customer did not understand delayed usage and wants an explanation.
Problem-account notes state-Customer called in and couldn't verify his Social Security Number(we cannot give any information without verifying this)-customer states he couldn't remember because when he got service he used a FAKE SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER because he never gives out that information(um, we run credit with the number you give us-dumbass).
Solution-Called ID Fraud department-Fraud agent Laughed and said he is going to enjoy disconnecting service and reporting him to the police in his area.
What month is this?
Stupid Customer #1
BK-"ok sir the information I have is that you're disputing the number of text messages on your son's phone?"
SC-"That's right my son's in college and he doesn't have time to send over 4000 text messages, I have a list I printed up from your website and it only has 376 messages, you're overbilling me!!!"
BK-well sir I'm looking at the current usage and it lists 4336 messages sent and received this past month.
SC-"ok let's look at some of these..."
BK-"well sir the first one I have is from 10/7 or October 7th at 4:27pm sent to xxx-xxx-xxxx."
SC-"well that's not right my list says 9/7 at 6pm sent to xxx-xxx-xxxx."
BK-"sir I believe I see the problem."
SC-"good let's get this cleared up, I don't know what's wrong with your billing system but I will not pay these fraudulent charges."
BK-"Sir my list is off the curent November invoice usage from October 7th to November 6th, the date you just gave me is from the previous month, September, let me pull that up-ah yes LAST month there were 376 messages sent, but you don't have this month's list do you?"
SC-"what that can't be(rustling papers)-well I'll print up the new list and call bck when it shows that you are wrong, my son's in college he doesn't have that much time to send text messages-he's in class."
BK-"sir do you know how long it takes to send a text message?"
SC-"well no, but I'm sure he doesn't have time."
BK-well according to this list all the messages were sent after 4pm, and I know that I can send a text message in under 30 seconds."
SC-"that quick huh?-I think I'm going to have a talk with my son...."
BK-"You do that sir, is there anything else I can help you with today?"
*Click*
he hasn't called back yet
Numerous random Idiots-
I've been billed for this for x amount of months I want credit!
x amount is normally 1 or two, not a problem, lately it's been almost a year of being billed for unwanted services, and we can only credit back 6 months per federal law.
And every time it's the same excuse-"I don't look at my bill."
GAH!!! so you just randomly send out checks every month for whatever amount you feel like, you'd have to look at it to get the amount due-and if that's all you look at-I'm adding a stupid tax to your bill starting now-you annoy me. Am I dealing with preschoolers here?*
And one from my phone days:
"of warranties and superglue"
DC-Dumb customer
BK-Wireless Wench BlaqueKatt
R-Rob floor supervisor(if I wasn't married<sigh>-he is a great supervisor)
(standard greeting and getting of cust info)
DC-"um is my phone still under warannty?"
BK-"well sir that depends is there something wrong with the phone not caused by impact damage or water damage?"
DC-"well I dropped it out a window and parts were falling out so I superglued it back together and it worked for a week or so but now stuff is falling out of it again and it doesn't work right."
BK-"well physical damage is not covered under warranty and I'm showing you didn't want insurance when you purchased the phone, and even if physical damage was covered I'm pretty sure supergluing the phone back together would void ANY warranty."
DC-"yeah phone insurance is a ripoff, you sure you can't get me a new phone?"
BK-"well sir our insurance covers physical damage, and had you purchased it you woul've been able to get a new phone for $50.00, since you didn't the best I can do is offer you a refurbished phone for $90 or full retail price for a different phone."
DC-"would the refurbished phone be the same one that I have now-it's only a month old?"
BK-"it would be whatever we have in stock which is mostly older phones(checks stock), it looks like we currently have model x, y, and z for refurbished."
DC-"could you just like add insurance so I could make a claim?"
BK-"Sir I am not allowed to commit insurance fraud."
DC-"I can't beleive you won't help me out here-it's a month old it should be under warranty."
BK-"sir the warranty only covers difficulty in the operation of the phone caused by manufacturer defects."
DC-I've been a customer with you for a month! this is horrible customer service, is this how you treat all your customers? I want your supervisor!"
BK-(gets supervisor Rob-explains situation"he superglued his phone! oh man this should be interesting")
R-"sir my agent offered you every thing we can do for you I suggest you either take one of the options she offered or see if one of your friends has an old phone. Yes sir I understand it's only a month old....No it's not covered under warranty....Sir you broke your phone and superglued it back together, I'm surprised it even worked for a week......sir we have offered to help you it's just not the help you were looking for....I'm sorry you feel that way sir....thank you for calling company x."
R(to me after looking at call time)-"how did you handle him for that long without snapping-take a few minutes before your next call."
*knows most preschoolers would be smarter
BlaqueKatt-weeping for humanity
*actual conversation from today*
BlaqueKatt <to boss>-"Could I gouge my eyes out instead, it would be less painful?"
Boss-"Well if you think that's a good course of action-just don't get eye goop on your computer please IT would get upset."
BK-"can I get it on your computer?"
Boss-"no"
BK-"you sure?"
Boss-"I'm sure, how would I explain that?"
BK-"Dammit"
Scammer #1
"I text in my sleep, alternate title: my phone must be possessed"
research form states:
customer logged off company x mobile IM and went to sleep, but got a call from her friend saying she was logged on all night and ran up her bill $78.
Evidence-customer used 776 text messages over her paid for allotment
Problem-all messages were before midnight, customer would not give the date this happened, and all messages received were responded to within 30 seconds.
Verdict-Charges Valid-unless customer can submit evidence that her phone is possessed by an unknown entity that responds to all text messages.
Scammer #2
"oh those phones"
Research form states:
customer says never upgraded phones never agreed to 2 year contract extention, contract end date should not have changed.
Evidence-customer's word
Problem #1-account notes list two orders made for new phones in June 2005, ESN(electronic serial #s) and Fedex tracking numbers listed in account-both ESNs were active on the account one for six months, one for over a year.
Problem #2-ESNs were "locked" meaning in order to activate said phones customer had to call a special 1-800# to accept a two-year agreement and give an electronic signature capture before the phones would work(phone system notes when the number was called in the account)
Verdict-contract end date valid, my word is gospel, end of discussion-now go away.
Scammer #3
"I don't want to pay for a phone"
Credit request, account notes-
Customer got a coupon from store y for a free Razr phone with 2 year agreement-customer wants to disconnect service(within our service trial period) as she already has an account and just wanted to upgrade her phone. Agent disconnected service and requested credit for early termination Fee.
Problem-customer called in 4 times yesterday before she got my agent to disconnect service-we ARE NOT AUTHORIZED to disconnect service under the trial period as the equipment MUST BE RETURNED TO THE STORE, the store will terminate service. Customer refuses to return $219.00 phone, even though due to a holiday promotion she can get the same phone for $50.00 with a $50.00 Mail-in Rebate.
Solution-leave voicemail instructing customer that if the phone is not returned to the original place of purchase(which will note the account with the return) within 7 days her current account will be charged the full retail price of the equipment she has, plus she will be liable for the $175.00 Early Termination Fee also gave customer option of faxing return reciept from store to us.(agent was written up by me)
Scammer #4
"hey let's admit to identity theft"
research form states:
Customer did not understand delayed usage and wants an explanation.
Problem-account notes state-Customer called in and couldn't verify his Social Security Number(we cannot give any information without verifying this)-customer states he couldn't remember because when he got service he used a FAKE SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER because he never gives out that information(um, we run credit with the number you give us-dumbass).
Solution-Called ID Fraud department-Fraud agent Laughed and said he is going to enjoy disconnecting service and reporting him to the police in his area.
What month is this?
Stupid Customer #1
BK-"ok sir the information I have is that you're disputing the number of text messages on your son's phone?"
SC-"That's right my son's in college and he doesn't have time to send over 4000 text messages, I have a list I printed up from your website and it only has 376 messages, you're overbilling me!!!"
BK-well sir I'm looking at the current usage and it lists 4336 messages sent and received this past month.
SC-"ok let's look at some of these..."
BK-"well sir the first one I have is from 10/7 or October 7th at 4:27pm sent to xxx-xxx-xxxx."
SC-"well that's not right my list says 9/7 at 6pm sent to xxx-xxx-xxxx."
BK-"sir I believe I see the problem."
SC-"good let's get this cleared up, I don't know what's wrong with your billing system but I will not pay these fraudulent charges."
BK-"Sir my list is off the curent November invoice usage from October 7th to November 6th, the date you just gave me is from the previous month, September, let me pull that up-ah yes LAST month there were 376 messages sent, but you don't have this month's list do you?"
SC-"what that can't be(rustling papers)-well I'll print up the new list and call bck when it shows that you are wrong, my son's in college he doesn't have that much time to send text messages-he's in class."
BK-"sir do you know how long it takes to send a text message?"
SC-"well no, but I'm sure he doesn't have time."
BK-well according to this list all the messages were sent after 4pm, and I know that I can send a text message in under 30 seconds."
SC-"that quick huh?-I think I'm going to have a talk with my son...."
BK-"You do that sir, is there anything else I can help you with today?"
*Click*
he hasn't called back yet
Numerous random Idiots-
I've been billed for this for x amount of months I want credit!
x amount is normally 1 or two, not a problem, lately it's been almost a year of being billed for unwanted services, and we can only credit back 6 months per federal law.
And every time it's the same excuse-"I don't look at my bill."
GAH!!! so you just randomly send out checks every month for whatever amount you feel like, you'd have to look at it to get the amount due-and if that's all you look at-I'm adding a stupid tax to your bill starting now-you annoy me. Am I dealing with preschoolers here?*
And one from my phone days:
"of warranties and superglue"
DC-Dumb customer
BK-Wireless Wench BlaqueKatt
R-Rob floor supervisor(if I wasn't married<sigh>-he is a great supervisor)
(standard greeting and getting of cust info)
DC-"um is my phone still under warannty?"
BK-"well sir that depends is there something wrong with the phone not caused by impact damage or water damage?"
DC-"well I dropped it out a window and parts were falling out so I superglued it back together and it worked for a week or so but now stuff is falling out of it again and it doesn't work right."
BK-"well physical damage is not covered under warranty and I'm showing you didn't want insurance when you purchased the phone, and even if physical damage was covered I'm pretty sure supergluing the phone back together would void ANY warranty."
DC-"yeah phone insurance is a ripoff, you sure you can't get me a new phone?"
BK-"well sir our insurance covers physical damage, and had you purchased it you woul've been able to get a new phone for $50.00, since you didn't the best I can do is offer you a refurbished phone for $90 or full retail price for a different phone."
DC-"would the refurbished phone be the same one that I have now-it's only a month old?"
BK-"it would be whatever we have in stock which is mostly older phones(checks stock), it looks like we currently have model x, y, and z for refurbished."
DC-"could you just like add insurance so I could make a claim?"
BK-"Sir I am not allowed to commit insurance fraud."
DC-"I can't beleive you won't help me out here-it's a month old it should be under warranty."
BK-"sir the warranty only covers difficulty in the operation of the phone caused by manufacturer defects."
DC-I've been a customer with you for a month! this is horrible customer service, is this how you treat all your customers? I want your supervisor!"
BK-(gets supervisor Rob-explains situation"he superglued his phone! oh man this should be interesting")
R-"sir my agent offered you every thing we can do for you I suggest you either take one of the options she offered or see if one of your friends has an old phone. Yes sir I understand it's only a month old....No it's not covered under warranty....Sir you broke your phone and superglued it back together, I'm surprised it even worked for a week......sir we have offered to help you it's just not the help you were looking for....I'm sorry you feel that way sir....thank you for calling company x."
R(to me after looking at call time)-"how did you handle him for that long without snapping-take a few minutes before your next call."
*knows most preschoolers would be smarter
BlaqueKatt-weeping for humanity
*actual conversation from today*
BlaqueKatt <to boss>-"Could I gouge my eyes out instead, it would be less painful?"
Boss-"Well if you think that's a good course of action-just don't get eye goop on your computer please IT would get upset."
BK-"can I get it on your computer?"
Boss-"no"
BK-"you sure?"
Boss-"I'm sure, how would I explain that?"
BK-"Dammit"
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